I've never had one through masturbation or with a partner.
I've never enjoyed masturbating and I actually find it a bit of a turn off if I'm honest. I have toys but I get more aroused and feel a lot better when my boyfriend uses them on me - but even that can't get me off. We've added more foreplay e.t.c I feel aroused and very much enjoy having sex but I've never had the big O. I have no idea what it's supposed to be like. And as of late I've only just realised how my boyfriend feels... like he was terrible in bed which I can quite easily see where he's coming from. I'd be disappointed in my performance if he didn't orgasm when we have sex or if I gave him oral.
I know it takes more work to get a woman to orgasm than a man but I feel like it's never going to happen to me.
Is there anyone else that has been like this and has since "achieved" an orgasm?
I was like this u till I met my recent partner no male had ever made me orgasm, but when I first slept with my new fella he did and it completely blew my mind all I can say is are you relaxed enough? X
I was like this u till I met my recent partner no male had ever made me orgasm, but when I first slept with my new fella he did and it completely blew my mind all I can say is are you relaxed enough x
Yeah, I think I am, I don't feel stressed or tense or anything like that when I'm with my boyfriend. I do feel stressed if I try to touch myself - I think I can say I hate it
A womanizer is a toy that is on my want list. I would look at a range of Toys incase the current ones just aren't exactly right for you. A lot of relaxation enjoyment and finding the right balance takes time but I would def look at that side of things x
Hi! First of all don't feel at all awkward, lots of woman struggle to orgasm and a high number that can can't do it through penetration alone.
I know you say you hate it but exploring on your own really is a very effective way to learn what works for you, then you guide your partner. So, it is worth taking time to consider why you dislike pleasuring yourself, did you have a religious or strict upbringing? How do you view female masturbation generally? It is a very natural, healthy and (when you know what feels good) enjoyable thing to do.
Orgasm with a partner is usually more difficult than solo, on your own you are in control and you don't have to worry about anyone else.
What sort of toys have you tried? Many woman can only orgasm with clitoral stimulation. Have you tried a bullet vibrator? These are small are can be used solo or with sex with a partner.
One last thing cos I know there's a lot of questions there. Even if you are relaxed to start with we can start putting pressure on ourselves to orgasm. Making it the goal can almost guarantee it won't happen. Don't make orgasm your goal, enjoy and lose yourself in whatever pleasurable sensations you notice, and enjoy the intimacy of your partner, it's difficult but like a lot of things once you stop trying it happens.
Hi! First of all don't feel at all awkward, lots of woman struggle to orgasm and a high number that can can't do it through penetration alone.
I know you say you hate it but exploring on your own really is a very effective way to learn what works for you, then you guide your partner. So, it is worth taking time to consider why you dislike pleasuring yourself, did you have a religious or strict upbringing? How do you view female masturbation generally? It is a very natural, healthy and (when you know what feels good) enjoyable thing to do.
Orgasm with a partner is usually more difficult than solo, on your own you are in control and you don't have to worry about anyone else.
What sort of toys have you tried? Many woman can only orgasm with clitoral stimulation. Have you tried a bullet vibrator? These are small are can be used solo or with sex with a partner.
One last thing cos I know there's a lot of questions there. Even if you are relaxed to start with we can start putting pressure on ourselves to orgasm. Making it the goal can almost guarantee it won't happen. Don't make orgasm your goal, enjoy and lose yourself in whatever pleasurable sensations you notice, and enjoy the intimacy of your partner, it's difficult but like a lot of things once you stop trying it happens.
Good luck
A lot of questions but I'll answer them xD No strict upbringing or religious or negative views it's more because I've never been satisfied by it, there's never been an endpoint when I've tried it. You're right maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself to orgasm. I've tried a bullet and a rabbit.
I think I'll give it all another go with an open mind :) Thank you for such a good reply - I feel less awkward now
I can relate a little here. I enjoy solo play very much but only if I'm using a toy, I don't get anything out of using my fingers....in fact I actually don't like touching myself down there. I'll use my fingers to apply lube obviously but no more than that, it makes me feel awkward and weird. Whether my childhood plays a part or not, I don't know, but I just don't like doing it. If anything it turns me off! When Mr.E uses his fingers though, that's a completely different matter....I absolutely love that.
No need to feel awkward here, it's a great place to get advice. Maybe spend some time having solo play but try a different bullet and rabbit, the ones you have may just not be the ones that do it for you. Believe me there is a difference between them. Spend some time reading reviews of the ones you're interested in and when you do try solo, make sure you're completely relaxed, in the house on your own so you feel no pressure
Try some massage, LH well good massage oils and candles. Try experimenting, maybe use diffrent sorts of toys, ie thrusting, g spot, clit etc. Then find out which you like the best and go from there. Just relax and take it at your pace, never anything good from rushing things imo. Hope you get to orgasm soon.
As AmyA says, self exploration is the best way to learn about yourself. If you are happy to do it, try masturbating in front of a mirror, that way you can see clearly what you are touching and any physical reactions (it’s a big step to do this, i know)
I would recommend revisiting a bullet, as well as looking at a g spot toy. Rabbits are great but not every rabbit works for everyone’s anatomy so I would give that a miss for now. Also don’t forget other erogenous zones like your nipple and your butt. Your biggest sex organ is your brain, so maybe also try erotic fiction or porn.
It is important to relax and give yourself plenty of time. Don’t make having an orgasm the end goal, make your goal to have enjoyable you time
Ultimately, if you are feeling all the right sensations but not orgasming, it could be a psychological issue and may be worth exploring with a psychosexual therapist. You can normally get a referral from your GP or local sexual health clinic.