My OH brought up the subject of my ex-fiancée yesterday. Yep. That's right. Christmas day and she asked me about someone I chucked over a decade ago. 
As we were preparing dinner, she asked if my ex and I had ever done this. I asked why on earth she'd bring up my ex on Christmas Day (let alone any day!) She just said she was curious. When I explained that we hadn't and gave a bit of background, she just said ok and then she carried on with the prep.
The thing is, this is far from the first time something like this has happened. I'd say it happens every few months. It's never the same thing, always something different. We don't argue about it, and she never seems upset if something I do with her I also did with my ex. She also never seems happy if something we do I never did with my ex.
We've been together for just over 7 years now. I've asked her why she keeps doing this, and she says she doesn't know. I've asked if she feels like she's in competition with my ex (and reassured her that she most definitely is not!) but she says she doesn't.
I cannot figure it out and it's a bit irritating at times. I moved on from the ex before I met my OH, but my OH seems to have issues with her!!!
There is an underlying issue here and the only way youre going to work on this is communication. Dont let it turn into a row because thats not going to get either of you anywhere. She may feel in competition (the only reason i can think of why she is so interested) she wont admit this to you, but secretly that may be the reason. Just reassure her that she is the one for you and you have little to no memory of your ex and it doesnt make sense to you why she keeps bringing her up. good luck
I find that I tend to compare myself to my BF's ex's in whatever area, just out of curiousity. But I've realised that I don't always like what I find out, so now I've stopped doing it because none of it matters to my BF anyway. Maybe that's what she's doing too?
If you both really need to, then maybe just sit down and ask her what she wants to know about the ex, what she wants to know for, and what she then does with the information. Let her know you don't see it as being necessary at all, and how it makes you feel - but like SquirtyPanda said, don't let it turn into a row! Instead, use the conversation as a way to lay out why these questions keep popping up and despite your many reassurances that she's not in competition.
Does she have insecurities or confidence issues? It sounds to me as though she needs reassurance every few months that she's giving you things your past partner didn't or that you're still invested in her, or both. It seems as though she cares about you a lot and wants reassurance that you're not going anywhere.
I think the only way to know for sure is to sit down and talk to her about it. I definitely think she knows more about why she's asking these things than she's letting on, maybe she's unsure of your reaction or worried it might change things between you?
My OH brought up the subject of my ex-fiancée yesterday. Yep. That's right. Christmas day and she asked me about someone I chucked over a decade ago.
As we were preparing dinner, she asked if my ex and I had ever done this. I asked why on earth she'd bring up my ex on Christmas Day (let alone any day!) She just said she was curious. When I explained that we hadn't and gave a bit of background, she just said ok and then she carried on with the prep.
The thing is, this is far from the first time something like this has happened. I'd say it happens every few months. It's never the same thing, always something different. We don't argue about it, and she never seems upset if something I do with her I also did with my ex. She also never seems happy if something we do I never did with my ex.
We've been together for just over 7 years now. I've asked her why she keeps doing this, and she says she doesn't know. I've asked if she feels like she's in competition with my ex (and reassured her that she most definitely is not!) but she says she doesn't.
I cannot figure it out and it's a bit irritating at times. I moved on from the ex before I met my OH, but my OH seems to have issues with her!!!
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
This my take on it. Perhaps not Christmas Day but my Mrs who I have been happily married for over 20 years now wanted to know every last detail of my previous partners including the musical video that featured one of them.
Her rationale(not mine)is to make sure that she doesn't make the same mistakes that have led to my previous relationships breaking up. For me its all part and parcel of good communication which under pins a successful a and long lasting relationship. So just give the information that your OH asks for as it will be for your benefit.
My OH brought up the subject of my ex-fiancée yesterday. Yep. That's right. Christmas day and she asked me about someone I chucked over a decade ago.
As we were preparing dinner, she asked if my ex and I had ever done this. I asked why on earth she'd bring up my ex on Christmas Day (let alone any day!) She just said she was curious. When I explained that we hadn't and gave a bit of background, she just said ok and then she carried on with the prep.
The thing is, this is far from the first time something like this has happened. I'd say it happens every few months. It's never the same thing, always something different. We don't argue about it, and she never seems upset if something I do with her I also did with my ex. She also never seems happy if something we do I never did with my ex.
We've been together for just over 7 years now. I've asked her why she keeps doing this, and she says she doesn't know. I've asked if she feels like she's in competition with my ex (and reassured her that she most definitely is not!) but she says she doesn't.
I cannot figure it out and it's a bit irritating at times. I moved on from the ex before I met my OH, but my OH seems to have issues with her!!!
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
Are you married to your current partner? I only ask because you specify your ex was your fiance. If you're not married could it be something as simple as why you proposed to your ex and have not yet done the same with your current partner?
Are you married to your current partner? I only ask because you specify your ex was your fiance. If you're not married could it be something as simple as why you proposed to your ex and have not yet done the same with your current partner?
We're not, yet. We will be though as soon as I can afford a ring and we can afford the wedding so wants and deserves.
We've actually discussed marriage in detail, so (ASAIK) it's not that.
I was thinking the same as LadyS 😊 Much like what did your ex have that she hasn't.
There is nothing that my ex had which even compares to my OH  Well, other than a penchant for sleeping with my friends... 
Thanks for all the advice guys 
In the past I've asked why she continues to talk about my ex and I've even asked if she feels like she's in competition with her. I've done my best to explain that if I wanted to be with my ex, then I'd obviously have gone nuts. Exes are exes for a reason!
We've never argued about it. As frustrating as it can be, it's not a big enough issue to riot over.
The only theory I have at the moment is that prior to this one, that was my longest relationship. Some of my personality traits are as a direct result of my ex, or the fallout from the breakup, but they never affect my OH in a negative way.
I guess it's time to revisit the topic with her...
Just as an aside, she also talk to my exes mother if they bump into each other when shopping. They get along so well that my exes mum is giving me stick for not yet being engaged to my OH!!! Weird with a capital weee!