OK...I know my son is excited to be 15 today...but WHY does he have to pick today to break with tradition so far this holiday..and actually wake up early.. Rather than stay up till 2 am on his PC...and then sleep for 16 hours straight?? He was awake at 5:30.. And I met him in the hall as I went to the loo..and yes I wished him a happy birthday... But ..go back to bed!! Too bloody early!
Then 20 mins later... Me and my partner are in my bedroom...door respectfully closed as all good couples do for privacy... and we are getting all hot and steamy..and my 15 yr old decides to knock..and immediately barge in my room..no waiting for a response.. To demand the password to my account on my PC!!! To say he almost got an eye full...about 5 mins later and I would have definitely been naughtier!! Luckily we were still under the duvet... But he didn't get it why I gave him a curt " get out!"😛 I go down later to find him stormy on the sofa, declaring I ruined his birthday..because I shouted at him..and he still can not understand why!!
Why does he think it is OK to barge into a closed door to a parents bedroom at 5:40 am to demand a PC password!!? Even if my partner wasn't here..if my bedroom door is shut..it means it is I want privacy...I could have been at solo...naked on the bed...getting dressed...or simply asleep!! Sure I felt bad telling him to get out curtly on his birthday... But surely I have the right to have my room and privacy respected in my own home?
I do not think you have anything to feel guilty about he is clearly in the wrong at 15 he should be old enough to be able to respect boundaries and in this case he has crossed them.I am surprised you can tell he is in a strop because from my experience our son was in a strop from 13 till present day and he is 25 that's kids for you.
I suspect he isnt in a strop because you shouted at him, but rather he is embarassed because he knew what he had walked into! its much easier to give the silent treatment and be "annoyed" than to admit you are embarassed!
Maybe next time his door is closed do it to him. I know that would sure make me stop and think!
Or make a light-hearted joke of it and say you think I ruined your birthday by shouting, surely seeing me naked would of been worse! Please knock and wait until I say 'come in' next time.Â
It was a simple and curt" get out" ...he had the nerve to say could I not hang a tie on the door to say " occupied "!! Ffs its my own house..my own bedroom and no teen should be entering their mums bedroom at 5:30 am when the door is shut for privacy..
Well he had had his pressies and cards now..and is a bit happier.. And had the nerve to tell me I should not be getting g up to things when they are in the house... For one..it is hard to do so when you have teens anyway..a d we haven't gone all out... But there isn't any reason why I can't have some sexy fun with my partner in the privacy of my own room. At 5:30 am when every teen is usually out for the count!!
I dunno tbh, obviously you have the right to privacy, just as much as he does, maybe explain how he'd freak out if you walked in while he was having some personal time. But it was his birthday, and you knew he was up, he could have been excited and unable to sleep, maybe he was annoyed you didn't stay up with him in the first place, then he came in to kind of let you know he wanted you to get up and you had better things to do almost I dunno, I'm still young, I totally get the embarrassment of him walking in on you then the hurt that you shouted at him, I get the being grossed out that his mum was having sex so close to him. I'd still be totally grossed out if mine or OHs parents were doing the same. I think try to cut him some slack and look at it from his point of view. Also, it could be a good way to bring up privacy and sex with him if you haven't already had the talk, maybe not on his birthday though, bit too much for one day!
I think you had every right to be short with him,,he should never have just barged in like that,,as a mum of a 19 year old son still at home I made sure that wouldn't happen to us by putting a small bolt on the door,,and the volume on the tv can be a little high on times to disguise any noise 
Well we were only in the kissing and caressing stage...we haven't gone all out while my boys are here anyway... So he didn't see anything he shouldn't... But he could have! We were rather in the zone when he barged in... Tbh..this is the first time I have thought of a bolt on my door... I don't think he will do it again though....
I can't relax with kids running about to enjoy "happy" time so i lock the door. He is a teen, moody and such. I dont think you did anything wrong NM, he will get over it!
Well he is happier now he has his cards and pressies...and he now has a cheap game he has wanted dled to the PC he has wanted for more months... My 13 yr old says he would never enter my room if the door was shut..if I was on my own or with my partner. He thinks his bro was out of line... So one gets it at least.... Sigh...teens! Who should have them!
you are giving me so much to look forward too with teens LOL. Don't stress over it NM, it was a good lesson on boundies and at least he didn't see anything "more".
Sounds like he was probably embarrassed. No kid wants to know their parent does it. At least he's calmed down now 😊 When my eldest stepson was 15 he used to have a habit of reading my text messages to his dad. They aren't all tame and he used to get very embarrassed and shocked. I had a quick "well if you didn't do it then you'd be none the wiser" chat with him and thankfully he's stopped. In a few weeks perhaps have a chat with all the kids and come up with some family rules that you can all stick to..like knocking on doors before you open them! Kids hey!! 😃
I have a lock on my door on the inside and on the outside... that way when I am up to stuff, if the kids wake up (never happened yet cos they really heavy sleepers) but they have to knock so gives me time. The lock on the outside is so when I'm downstairs and they are playing in their rooms they can't play in mine and find anything they shouldn't. Also when kids friends come over they can't play in my room as sometimes was the case. My door is always unlocked and open when I'm sleeping so that I can hear kids and they can come in anytime I'm in there. It works :)
Well..locks up high ain't going to work with my 15 year old..he is now 6 ft!! 😄😛😮 At least he has got the idea that my partner is definitely a keeper and we are vv in love...cause in anger last night after he got really stroppy with me...I was being ultra calm and cool and even in my tone and dealings with him..and he started raving he was going to tell his dad that I was shouting at him... When I said I actually have 2 witnesses to confirm I was anything but...he said my partner would go with what I said, as he was" hopelessly in love with me"!! Oh wow...my insensitive, unresponsive son who hasn't a clue about relationships, has pretty much declared he sees us totally in love!! So he knows we are a couple ...and hence will " do" things... So he should be bright enough to see a closed door might indicate us wanting privacy... Yeah he might be covering up embarrassment... With gruffness.. I hope it doesn't happen again.. Especially as our future plans in sleeping arrangements when we have all the kids(5 in total) here in a 3 bed house... My partners girls will end up in my room and my partner and me will sofa bed it downstairs... ...then unexpected interruptions will be harder to deal with!!
i definitely think a lok on the inside is a good idea, i had one that was a catch and gave a little open space so you could hear through it. you've also got to remember that he should see it as his house too, when i used top stay at my dads i used to feel uncomfortable even going upstairs whe he was. i think if you try to see him as an equal or a roommate it may be a little easier. you say it may be harder when you're sofa-bedding it downstairs, but shouldnt your kids be able to ome downstairs in the night? you dont want to make him feel awkward going anywhere you are in case you're doing something that he wont like.
i think I'd make this whole thing about now he's 15 he's old enough to be treated and at like an adult, rather than trying to impose restritions, give leeways, you can both have a lock, or even just a "keep out" sign you'll knock and wait before going in his room and he should do the same, if he has a girl/boy round they should try to respect everyone and not be over the top, and you'll be the same. even if you dont expect him to be doing those things, dont rule it out or tell him you dont thinnk he will, it makes it seem like you think he's immature and pressure him to grow up.
i think I'm just at that age where i see things from the kids point of view rather than the adults, being a teenger is hard remember, especially when your parents aren't together and more so when they're in relationships, you start to feel like the outsider in your own family
Don't really have anything else to add, but I had a similar experience when I was house-sharing with Uni mates, though I was the one who entered the room to 'see' something I wish I hadn't. So can empathise with your son, as I was 21 and found it really embarrassing. They are two of my closest friends still now, 10years on, but suffice to say, we never mention *that* occurrence!
mind you, we've both had babies now, so it's not like we don't know what we all get up to behind closed doors!
OMG, the amount of times I purposely went crashing into my parents bedroom when I was a teen was ridiculous!! Only because I knew it would make them stop what they were doing!!! I could hear them and I'd get real grossed out and make a load of noise and storm into their room.
Maybe he's doing the same? You may not have been in full-flow, but he could've heard enough to think "ewwwww mum's doing stuff!!"
i did the same! or if one of her fellas was coming round mum would suggest i go for a walk so id just do everything i could to annoy them. its kind of like "why should i get out your way just so you can fuck?!"