Oral reluctance

Sex Tips & Talk
1

I love giving and receiving oral, however, my OH hates giving it. He's had a few half-hearted attempts over the years, but knowing how he felt put me off.

The ONLY thing me ex was ever any good at was oral. He loved giving more than receiving and I still remember how amazing having my clit sucked felt.

With that in mind, I've just ordered the Womanizer. It's a LOT of money for me (even with a discount from LH), plus I've only recently got into using sex toys. The clit ones do it for me better than anything else.

Am I running before I can walk? Am I going to be disappointed? If it's a damp squib at first, how long do I give it before giving up?

I know LH have an amazing returns policy, but I think I'd be uncomfortable using it (I've been offered a refund for the Tracey Cox jiggle balls that I find quite painful, but can't bring myself to send them back - I've bought a few more since that I love, but I'm still a bit hmm about returning something used).

Please tell me that this is as close as the real thing as I really miss it!

2

Unfortunately I cannot offer any advice on the Womaniser as I don't own it - but there are reviews on the product page. Of course nothing compares to having an eager partner giving you oral, but I think comparing your current partner to your ex is a bit wishful and mean to your OH. If you're not happy with him, you need to talk to him... Tell him HE'S not getting any oral till he makes a whole-hearted attempt at giving you some pleasure. Ask him to put himself in your shoes - no oral!? He'd miss it a lot. Have a good long talk, maybe invest in one of the Tracey Cox Supersex books. They're good and stuffed full of sexual relationship advice :)

3

I bought a vibrating clip pump to try to get that good sucked feeling and was disappointed with it. I will look forward to the feedback here.

4

have you thought about trying dental dams?

5

I am seriously considering the Womanizer, based on the reviews, and I'm not even such a big fan of receiving oral. I like it, but I don't really miss it. My husband gives it enthusiastically and is good at it too, so the toy is not something I NEED, is just something I want... even though I can afford this toy, I have not yet bought it simply because I think it is a LOT of money as you say and only a cprice for me, not a NEED as it would be to you.

However, I do get how you feel about the returns, but I've come to terms with my own feeling guilty. I don't ever buy stuff just to try them out and send them back, BUT if they don't work out for us for whatever the reason, I do send items back. Even so, I have spent a fortune on Lovehoney on items I will not send back, way (way-way!) more than the value of the used items sent back for a refund and this policy and their deals will keep me addicted for the foreseeable future, so it's a strategy that clearly works for them! So my advice is that as long as you are not ill-intentioned about the returns, but honest and reasonable, take advantage of what Lovehoney has to offer!

And please please please do get back to us with your opinion about the Womanizer as soon as you tried it out... (I was actually thinking of buying it tomorrow evening, so can you let me know by then LOL?)

6

I'd also be interested how you find the womanizer , hope you enjoy it , I love love love having my clit sucked , I feel for you , why not try some foodstuffs to kink it up a bit xx

7

The Womanizer is nothing like receiving oral, but it's totally amazing and it's my favourite toy of all time. I have hundreds of toys, but that (and a small number of others) lives right next to the bed. It's unlike any other toy, and the feeling is unique!

Don't feel bad about returning things, that's what the policy is for. Sure, I wouldn't send lower priced items back, or send things back because I'm bored of them etc, but for higher priced items, it's invaluable peace of mind.

I hope you love it as much as I do :-)

8

Thanks everyone.

HE - I don't compare them as my ex was an abusive man. I was groomed by him at a very young age and am still having therapy to help get over my fear of him. I have many, many bad memories of him, and am working on putting them behind me. Unfortunately, his MO was to use his bedroom skills which were vast.

I still live in fear of this man and the sexual memory I confessed to here makes me feel guilty for having it. And even worse for remembering the intense feelings I had when he'd perform oral on me. More's the pity, I know I can't erase these memories, but with the couselling I'm having, they're now having much less of an effect on me - but I stil have flashbacks when something happens to me that will trigger a memory.

I feel I now have a happy relationship and great sex life with my OH and I would never withhold oral as a form of "punishment" or "tit-for-tat" kind of thing. He doesn't like doing it and that's that. I hope he'd respect my wishes and not make me do anything I didn't want either.

While oral is on my missing list, it's not the be-all/end-all. My sex life with my OH has actually healed me and helped me get over a lot of my hang-ups. I don't sit there and yearn for my ex, or oral sex. Neither do I actually miss the act - just, occasionally, the orgasm (which, now I use bullets etc., I sometimes overdo, which kind of spolis it for me). The feeling was very nice, not too intense, but very satisfying. Orgasm with bullets is sometimes too intense which leaves my strangely disatisfied.

I don't want to pin my hopes on it, but I'm wondering if the Womanizer will bring some extra sensations that will help me completely forget my ex - working under de-sensitisation theory. Sex with my OH is completely different than with my ex (who made me feel I was worthless, then guilty for enjoying the physical sensations), but it's still sex. Despite the parallels, I'm finally forgetting the past and enjoying the present.

D - yes, but I couldn't relax knowing he just wasn't enthusiatic. But thanks :-)

V - sorry it didn't work for you. I hate disappointment like that.

Era - thank you for understanding what I was trying to say, and the returns advice. I'm already hooked on LH and have a monthly budget to spend with them, but I've gone a bit overboard with this. I WILL let you know how it goes - it was despatched today so if it arrives tomorrow, I will charge it, try it and get straight back online to let you know how it fares.

PS Sorry for the War and Peace life story. I don't think my counsellor meant coming online to LH when he said talking about it would be good for me, but hey-ho. Thanks for "listening" anyway.

9

I'm curious foxxy how you would describe the sensation?

10

VR, I think this is as good a place as any to talk about your life experiences! You will always find people ready to listen, who do not judge, and with the bonus of anonymity you will most probably also get honest feedback instead of empty sympathies you might get from real life people who sometimes will give "support" just out of education...

Eagerly waiting for your feedback on the Womanizer (gosh, I hate this name!!!), thank you. Which one did you get? I'm inclined for the tattoo one.

11

I also look forward to your feedback, I'm hoping to finally get the womaniser in the Christmas Day sale! That's if it's included in the sale...

12

Boogaloo wrote:

I also look forward to your feedback, I'm hoping to finally get the womaniser in the Christmas Day sale! That's if it's included in the sale...

I was hoping for this too, but it's a huge if, and so I might just get it with a % off voucher and my Oh!Points instead... I just hope it is worth it, I have so many toys now, it's hard to impress me nowadays, but none that provides so unique sensations as the Womanizer promises... And I actually feel more guilty in sending back expensive toys than cheap ones if they don't work out. :(

13

After reading reviews and being a huge fan of clitoral stimulation..I want one!!!! Xxx

14

It's so hard to describe Vanessa! Lol. Obviously it's suction, but it really doesn't feel like it. The unit chugs (odd word, but best way to describe it) so it's kind of on/off/on/off very quickly, so it sort of feels like you throb your way to orgasm. It's not an in-your-face kind of sensation, but it builds quickly, and for me, the orgasms are amazing, because I'm not overstimulated. A good tip, if you often have to get the vibration of a toy away from you as you orgasm because it becomes to much, is to press the power button once when you orgasm, which knocks the Womanizer back to the gentlest setting. I find that this means I can draw my orgasm out longer, as the gentler sensations allow me to enjoy every second of the pleasure waves, instead of abruptly cutting it short

15

Foxxy wrote:

It's so hard to describe Vanessa! Lol. Obviously it's suction, but it really doesn't feel like it. The unit chugs (odd word, but best way to describe it) so it's kind of on/off/on/off very quickly, so it sort of feels like you throb your way to orgasm. It's not an in-your-face kind of sensation, but it builds quickly, and for me, the orgasms are amazing, because I'm not overstimulated. A good tip, if you often have to get the vibration of a toy away from you as you orgasm because it becomes to much, is to press the power button once when you orgasm, which knocks the Womanizer back to the gentlest setting. I find that this means I can draw my orgasm out longer, as the gentler sensations allow me to enjoy every second of the pleasure waves, instead of abruptly cutting it short

Great insight, thank you for that!

16

Foxxy wrote:

It's so hard to describe Vanessa! Lol. Obviously it's suction, but it really doesn't feel like it. The unit chugs (odd word, but best way to describe it) so it's kind of on/off/on/off very quickly, so it sort of feels like you throb your way to orgasm. It's not an in-your-face kind of sensation, but it builds quickly, and for me, the orgasms are amazing, because I'm not overstimulated. A good tip, if you often have to get the vibration of a toy away from you as you orgasm because it becomes to much, is to press the power button once when you orgasm, which knocks the Womanizer back to the gentlest setting. I find that this means I can draw my orgasm out longer, as the gentler sensations allow me to enjoy every second of the pleasure waves, instead of abruptly cutting it short

Great perspective on the Womanizer Foxxy! You're seriously tempting me to get one now - lol :) xx

17

era wrote:

VR, I think this is as good a place as any to talk about your life experiences! You will always find people ready to listen, who do not judge, and with the bonus of anonymity you will most probably also get honest feedback instead of empty sympathies you might get from real life people who sometimes will give "support" just out of education...

Eagerly waiting for your feedback on the Womanizer (gosh, I hate this name!!!), thank you. Which one did you get? I'm inclined for the tattoo one.

+1 - Totally agree with this - and I also look forward to hearing how you get on with the Womanizer xx

18

Well, thanks to Foxxy's request on the Pander to me thread I will now wait for the new model to be sold by LH! Phew, almost bought the current one and then I would have been so mad to find out there was a new model already arriving... I had so many issues about this model (aesthetics foremost, noise, water resistance...) so truly thank you!

19

No problem Era. The new model is quieter, but isn't waterproof, only splashproof. There's also 8 levels now :-) Gonna be more expensive though!

20

Yep, i went on a craze of info search after seeing your request on the other thread! But they sell the W100 model at 159 euros, and the W500 at 189. So it's 30 extra. They already are a luxury toy even at 159, and I truly don't believe they are worth this much money, but I accept the fact that they own the market so if I want the toy, and given I can afford it, I will have to contribute to their unjustified wealth. :) That's just how consumerism works, unfortunately. So seeing the big picture and the fact that I kind of hated everything about the old model, the 30 extra euros are worth the difference (much more tasteful design, a lot more quiet which means less distracting, splashproof is enough for me as the only reason I want water resistance in all my toys is to properly clean them under tap water, not so much for the baths). All of these issues are the ones that kept me in doubt so far, but now I'm happy I'll finally feel less guilty to spend that amount on a toy I have so many doubts about. So hopefully now it will only be about sensations and not about characteristics anymore! :)