Firstly, I know that personal ads and so on are against LH rules, so this is not a personal ad!!
But I wondered, has anyone here ever used any personal ad websites which you found worked?
I used to use Gumtree and that was pretty good until they stopped doing personals. I've used Craigslist but generally found most of it is just fake adverts and so on.
Fetlife is a bit scary for me and most of the other dating sorts of sites I've seen are kind of expensive (I'm not brimming over with spare cash unfortunately!).
So can anyone recommend anywhere I could try? Preferably free or affordable - somewhere I can just find someone without it having to be fetish-orientated etc?
Don't be put off by Fetlife; it can look a bit daunting at first. When my wife & I split up just over a year ago I tried a could of kink-orientated dating sites. I found that one was a bit sparse with local members and the other had a terrible male-female ratio.
I then tried Fetlife. I didn't really get into group chats or anything; I just browsed through local members and looked for girls with similar interests who weren't in relationships (remember that unlike a dating site; not everyone on FL is looking)
If I saw a profile I liked the look of I'd send a quick message; just a 'hi, how are you' type of thing. I exchanged a few messages with one girl for a few days then we arranged a date. We ended up meeting up for some pretty kinky sex a few times but I didn't see any long-term relationship potential so left it at that.
A few months later I went on a few dates with someone else I met on FL but if I'm honest I didn't really fancy her so didn't take it any further.
Then I went on Match.com, met my current girlfriend and fell very much in love. For the first three months I thought my days of kink were over; that I was destined for a life of amazing, yet vanilla sex. However we recently discovered that we're both as filthy as each other, so I intend to marry her as soon as I possibly can!
As for Match.com; I would recommend it; however if you don't want to pay, then don't bother as you can't message anyone (or reply to messages received) without a paid-for account
Daunting is definitely the word for Fetlife! I've mainly been on the receiving end of hostility on there; nothing friendly has ever come my way, which kind of makes me feel nervous about trying to contact anyone again. But maybe I will give it another go.
I've heard of Plenty of Fish, perhaps I'll try that too.
I know I shouldn't be such a tightarse only looking at free sites but on minimum wage and only part-time hours, needs must haha. Maybe I won't mention that on whatever site I choose to use, I don't think I'd be much of a 'catch' if that fact was included!!
I have found those on FL that I have had contact with to be a pretty friendly bunch. From my experiences and from speaking to girls about their experiences with other men on FL I would definitely recommend that at least your first few messages are just like those you would send on a 'regular' dating site; friendly, polite and respectful. From what I gather too many men think that women want to read complete strangers telling what they would do to them given half a chance. Also, as I said before; remember that FL is more social media site than dating site so many people on there aren't looking for anything more than they already have
Oh, I agree completely and that's exactly what put me off Fetlife because the women do just the same. There's no getting to know, it's always straight into the hardcore shit and because I wouldn't commit to entering into any kind of 'situation' within about 48 hours of knowing the person they all just called me a 'timewaster' and moved on.
My first messages were always regular hello type messages as you suggest, because that's just the sort of person I am, but that was just too boring for most of the people I came across.
I'm trying Plenty of Fish now, that seems kinda nice so far :)