hi i was wondering if its normal to cum quickly if you only get sex once a month?
im 31 and OH is 29 but she only fancy sex once a month and i think thats more cos ive gone on about it too much and she gives in. when we do have sex it's great but i only seem to last 30 mins before i blow my load, ive even tried wanking before and playing with her as well as taking my time going down on her but cant seem to last when i cums to my cock.
can anyone help please?????
Hello and welcome to the forums!
I don't have much to say with regards to the actual issue but I can advise maybe using a cock ring if you haven't tried it already? They're a fantastic way to help prolong an erection and they make it harder too! Apologies that my reply isnt what your looking for but hopefully its a suggestion that might help. Good luck
ClareB x
30 mins is a rather decent amount of time to last this is way above average! I think you feel like its quick because in the back of your mind your thinking about how long before you next have sex.
Dont nag your OH for sex this will continue to put her off more and so sex becomes a chore! Maybe you should concentrate on making her feel sexy - why not try massage? While massaging u can slowly kiss her neck (Or the areas that most turn her on) she will feel loved, special, not nagged into it and in turn sex may be less a chore and more an enjoyment thing.
Enjoy your 30 mins fully and don't think about how much sex you have or when u next will.....
Hope this helps x x x
Hmm, I wouldn't have thought that 30 minutes is a short amount of time... I guess it's normal to last a lesser amount of time if you don't have sex or masturbate often, as you become backed up in a way. If you masturbate regularly - like me - with death grip approach, you could last quite a while longer. I wouldn't advise overdoing it, since I'm becoming frustrated with the lack of sensation to my penis. It's a thought and it could help. 
ClareB92 wrote:
Hello and welcome to the forums!
I don't have much to say with regards to the actual issue but I can advise maybe using a cock ring if you haven't tried it already? They're a fantastic way to help prolong an erection and they make it harder too! Apologies that my reply isnt what your looking for but hopefully its a suggestion that might help. Good luck
ClareB x
This is a good alternative I must say. I have some myself (a trio of glow in the dark ones) and it does make you much harder and bigger and pleasurable. I've found a way of using all three: since it's strechy, I've slipped one at the base of my penis behind my balls, slip one over the sack, underneath the shaft of my penis, and one at the base of the penis, but in front of the sack. So you basically have a triangle. It is REALLY good, though I only have two now because I screwed one up badly... 
Do use a cock ring instead of my advice with the death grip. The death grip isn't worth it, in my opinion...
i have tried cock rings and things the main problem is 1: im a sex addict and have to masturbate alot and 2: my OH doesn't have any turn ons at all except sometimes porn if she lets me put it on. ive tried everything to get her in the mood but nothing helps but i know once shes in the mood she really enjoys it but then nothing for amonth again.
Ginger Ninja Minge wrote:
This is a good alternative I must say. I have some myself (a trio of glow in the dark ones) and it does make you much harder and bigger and pleasurable. I've found a way of using all three: since it's strechy, I've slipped one at the base of my penis behind my balls, slip one over the sack, underneath the shaft of my penis, and one at the base of the penis, but in front of the sack. So you basically have a triangle. It is REALLY good, though I only have two now because I screwed one up badly...
theres nothing wrong with the size, as far as i know its a good size and if it gets any hard it would pop lol.
So... is it more a problem with her then..? I'm guessing that she doesn't cum when you do have sex... You should lead her onto this site! If it's the problem with her, then a bullet vibrator wouldn't hurt... If you haven't already, get more touchy feely when you do have sex and devour her with kisses! Spice up the sex and she'll feel a lot better and you might be having sex more often! After all, it is part of a loving relationship, and twelve times a year just doesn't cut it... You could try a vibrating cock ring rather than the normal version as the vibrations will travel along your shaft, deep inside her...
But, seriously, thirty minutes isn't bad at all. You shouldn't be worried about your stamina... just your technique. I'm not an expert, but people on here are fantastic and will point you in the right direction. Good luck! 
Also, I know what you mean. I'm a rather above average 7" so I don't need a cock ring. I just wanted to know what it feels like, and I have seen an improvement on my size and hardness, even after I've used them and have a random erection!
Ginger Ninja Minge wrote:
So... is it more a problem with her then..? I'm guessing that she doesn't cum when you do have sex... You should lead her onto this site! If it's the problem with her, then a bullet vibrator wouldn't hurt... If you haven't already, get more touchy feely when you do have sex and devour her with kisses! Spice up the sex and she'll feel a lot better and you might be having sex more often! After all, it is part of a loving relationship, and twelve times a year just doesn't cut it... You could try a vibrating cock ring rather than the normal version as the vibrations will travel along your shaft, deep inside her...
But, seriously, thirty minutes isn't bad at all. You shouldn't be worried about your stamina... just your technique. I'm not an expert, but people on here are fantastic and will point you in the right direction. Good luck!
Also, I know what you mean. I'm a rather above average 7" so I don't need a cock ring. I just wanted to know what it feels like, and I have seen an improvement on my size and hardness, even after I've used them and have a random erection!
im around 9" myself and most of the time she does cum. shes been on the site before but not the forum. but i do think she has problems that need addressing sexual but as for technique i go out of my way to make sure she gets what she needs and more, maybe thats the problem i give more than she needs.
Ok, that's cool. As a typical man, I'm sort of jealous your penis is bigger than mine, but I'm proud of mine. 
It is rather strange that she doesn't want sex often. That's rather confusing... I'm not sure what to advise, but hopefully the others will. Could try surprise sex?
i wish lol its more a surpise to me WHEN it happens lol
Hmm. Sometimes you have to make the move yourself... You can't wait for her to make the move all the time. :/ Just start with a light passion to try to get her into it...
It really seems you're more concerned about the frequency of your sex life than your actual stamina, tbh.
Stop "going on about it". Really. You're only putting her off more. I know it's difficult, but just stop mentioning sex at all. I'm sure you know yourself, if someone wants you to do something, the more they ask you to do it, the less inclined you become. Stubbornness and resentment kicks in fairly quickly and you're doing serious damage to your sex life by nagging her about it.
You need to sit down with her (in a non-sexual context) and let her know that once a month is not enough sex for you. Ask her if she'd be willing to work on it with you, and what she thinks would help her sex drive increase. Tell her that you don't want to just have more sex for the sake of it (which you don't, right?) but you want her to want sex and enjoy sex more.
Don't mention the way things are now -- no "you never" or "I wish you would" -- just let her know that you want to work on your sex life and see what she says.
She might agree, she might get angry, she might get upset, she might be defensive. All these you can work with. If she says she's not interested in sex, or improving your sex life... well then it seems you're just sexually incompatible, which is a much bigger problem than a lack of communication.
Sometimes peoples' sex drives just don't match, sadly.
I think 30 min is well acceptable - combine it with proper foreplay and you are up in and hour and a half surely?
Having spent 10 years married to a guy with a 9 inch cock - i can tell you - it ain't all it's cracked up to be. Sex was woeful - in fact - he hurt me more than he turned me on most of the time.
That said - 30 mins is perfectly acceptable. With my ex-husband, I could barely manage 10 mins without having to get him off of me.
The best sex I ever had was with my ex-bf who was the only man I ever truely connected with on an emotional and mental level and he only had a normal 6 inch cock (which to me when i first came across it was tiny) and i have to say i was a bit disappointed when i first saw it / held it. That lasted for barely a matter of minutes when I soon discovered he knew what to do with it and literally blew me away - and for 2 years solid, we both enjoyed amazing sex, the kind of sex that leaves you in a state of "the earth has just moved" and blew us both out of this world. He turned me from a woman who would have happily lived without sex for the rest of my life to a woman who loves a healthy sex life, and found my inner-goddess.
I miss him.
The point is - is your size perhaps too much for her? Maybe look at "non-penetration"?
Just a wondering.
I think that's a really good point. (No pun intended!)
If you're too long or wide for her to comfortably accommodate (or even the wrong shape for each other!) that might really be spoiling her enjoyment of sex and turning it into a chore.
Foreplay helps. Experimenting with position helps. Lube helps. Condoms help too, apparently.
Also, sex doesn't necessarily have to be penetrative. Or physical. Would you be happy with once a month if there was more flirting and suggestive behaviour in the mean time? Maybe you could both work on "living a sexier life" (Lovehoney slogan du jour) without necessarily upping the pressure to have intercourse?
Good luck.
MrMr