Rant Thread - Get it all out here

Still finding it impossible to find property. I even tried to book an airbnb for a month and was turned down for that. Starting to lose hope.

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There are some increasingly problematic issues regarding my parents and my disability.

1st of for context, i was diagnosed fairly late with mental disabilities including autism and anxiety (and at that point severe depression).

I’m aware I’m reasonably intelligent. However, because of that my parents basically seem to expect me to be normal. That i should be in a ‘good routine’ already to add in everything they’re telling me to do as if i literally didn’t only just get into the routine of brushing my teeth everyday. That i should already be in a full time job or at least actively searching despite not even being officially graduated yet (not to mention they don’t seem to understand that there’s a lot of competition for these jobs and I’m not exactly the most qualified even without me stuffing up the interview). I try to improve things but I’m never doing enough, i should be ‘better’ by now. I have asked them to stop bringing up jobs and stuff at every opportunity and they have straight up said no (it triggers my anxiety really badly and is close to making me slip back into some self harm habits because I’ve been repressing stress for so long that my body has forgotten any healthy ways to vent that do more than take the edge off).

Just because I’m relatively smart and internalise problems so they’re not as visible doesn’t mean they’re not there. They were getting better with actually trying to help (well 1 parent was) but now they’re steadily getting worse. I don’t sit around all day doing nothing when left alone contrary to what they think, i am trying to eat (but it’s apparently never enough) and I’m working on my future plans (I’m just trying to go at my own pace so i don’t have a complete meltdown - contrary to what they think working a full time job won’t miraculously ‘fix’ me)

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@Ace12345 I would say you are much more than somewhat “smart”. You write and express yourself well.
Being intelligent can mask outward signs of difficulties (I have seen this first hand with a family member) this can be an issue itself.
Please keep on doing all the positive things you are x

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@Ace12345 - I feel for you. It’s pretty clear that your parents have no real grasp of what autism means and the challenges it presents, nor the debilitating impact of anxiety.

I imagine that attempting to discuss their behaviour with them directly would only serve to exacerbate your anxiety further. I wonder, though, whether it might be worth stating your case in writing - much as you have done here - and putting it before them in the form of a letter? I realise there may be argumentative fallout from doing that, but at least you’d have made the reality of your situation clearer to them.

Do you have anyone in your life who can act as an advocate or counsellor? A qualified person from an autism/mental health charity, for example, who could speak to them? I’m thinking that maybe they might pay more attention to somebody ‘official’ with letters after their name.

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Not currently unfortunately. My university support has just ended and i stopped attending therapy after the new adult system caused more problems than it helped. It could be worth trying a letter but honestly i think they’d ignore it, thinking I’m just ‘making excuses’ and they know better

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Damn. I’m really sorry, hun - wish I could think of summat, but short of re-educating your parents, I’m stumped. :hugs:

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@Ace12345 omg hun I feel for you and your situation pressure to live a normal life ( define normal ) despite your circumstances and health issues are nor should be in question your parents should be supportive and understand what your specific needs are rather than questioning them, I hope you come through the other end safe and well hun​:kissing_heart:

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Okay, there is no more denying the insane level of invasion of privacy that has go on while I was in the hospital. I’ve been sleeping downstairs since I came home and today I went up to my room to get some things and…

  1. My bankstatments have been moved and “organised”.
  2. As have incredibly private letters and notes from mental health services.
  3. Hundreds of pound worth of smoking paraphernalia has been taken.
  4. The LOCKED box I keep my best toys in has also been taken. There is no reason they would have moved that unless they broke in.

So…my own fucking parents have stolen my possessions which were bought and paid for by me and hidden where they should never have been seen.

I am so furious and there is no way to confront them without a massive drama.

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I’m sorry that you’re going through this @Ace12345 I think that @PleasureDrone has said it all really, just keep doing what you’re doing, you know what’s right for you. Better days are just around the the corner :heart:

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Oh jeez @Queerantine that’s awful! I wish I could give you advice but I don’t know what to say, so just sending a massive hug.

Hopefully someone will be able to be more helpful :heart:

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@Ace12345 sending hugs and support. I wish I could do more but I don’t know what to say and can’t think of anything other than what has already been mentioned.

Just try and remember that you’re made the way you are for a reason and you’re amazing :heart:

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So sorry to hear that @Ace12345, I hope you’re ok, sending hugs :slightly_frowning_face::slightly_smiling_face::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

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@Queerantine I would call them out!
It’s one thing ‘tidying’ stuff but removing your possessions without your knowledge or permission is stealing. It’s not OK.
Do you have a case worker or mental health professional you can tell about this? If not, would Citizens Advice Bureau be able to find someone to intercede for you with your parents? You need an advocate.

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@Ace12345 surely autism per se is not a disability? Your brain is just differently wired. You’ll always be neurodivergent, but that doesn’t make you broken. There are plenty of successful autistic adults (by that I mean happy, independent, doing work that they enjoy, and enjoying relationships that work for them).
I don’t know if it will be your thing, but I’ve really enjoyed reading Jess Glenny’s blog. She is a yoga and dance teacher who writes very movingly and beautifully about her own experiences of being autistic, queer, and having EDS, and how these influence her life and teaching: https://movingprayer.wordpress.com/

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I know it’s not really a disability but it is technically classified as one, especially when combined with other things like anxiety.

As you said i know there are plenty of highly successful autistic people, I’m just sick of my parents pushing me when I’m not ready and ignoring that I’m not neurotypical

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Hubby has just been put on an 18 MONTH WAITING LIST for the snip! That’s ridiculous! You could have 2 kids in that Time! I refuse to go back on the pill as I’m so much happier without it, and was hoping we could stop with condoms soon, but apparently not :rage:

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Oh, boy. If that was me, I would be in pure Godzilla rage mode. Nevermind drama, bring on the chaos! :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: If I couldn’t get them back, they will be paying a few grand on replacements.

I hope they haven’t thrown them away on you and are just hiding them. What a shitty thing to do while you’ve been in hospital.

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@Ace12345 yes that must be so annoying!!
At least the anxiety you can do something about, even if that’s hard (and I know how devastating anxiety can be). However, there is a lot you can do to lessen anxiety over time, and I’m sure you have already found things that help.
If the adult therapy you were offered made things worse, go back to your GP and say so. You might just need a different therapist, or a different approach. Ask for a change. You deserve support.

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Hi all, sorry for the late reply regarding me speaking to my gf about the lying issues.
They denied it and told me things are over mentioning other men were interested and wanted to be fathers as she’s a single mum.
I snapped and told them where to go and what I thought of them, said they were narcissistic and manipulative and I blocked them on everything bar Skype.
Fast forward they created or had another Snapchat account and added me, I was torn what to do but I caved and accepted, they screenshotted me their replies which never went to me due to been blocked.
I thought they would get real nasty but tbeht didn’t, said they still loved me and said they delete people a lot and hide from their problems it’s just what they do, they messaged to say please speak to me, I felt really bad so I’ve unblocked and said still want to be with them.
No idea if that’s the right thing to do and it’s all a real mess but the caring side of me wants them to be happy and I feel too bad cutting them off forever.
Anyway got the day off work been to Manchester to get my Septum stretched up a size and been to Afflecks palace to buy some bits (belt, choker, couple t shirts and shot glasses)
Just trying to enjoy my day off work best I can.

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@Metalfanatic87 have a good day.
Try to set some ground rules. You deserve to be treated with respect x

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