Mum has become fixated since finding my sex toys. She accusing me of being addicted to or obsessed with porn (I don’t actually even watch much porn). She has brought it up three times in the past two weeks. Really losing my mind here. I want to up and move across the country to get away from it all, but I need to stay while I get my medical issues figured out.
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Oh i can definitely understand where you’re coming from. My mum’s fixated on a topic that upsets me a lot too and I’m currently not able to move out either so i just have to try to avoid her and preferably shut down the conversation wjen it comes up (which does not usually work unfortunately)
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Really sorry you’re having to deal with that @Queerantine. I know there’s lots of charities around that can support and would suggest reaching out to one to look at your options as they may be able to give advice about how you could transfer your medical stuff to a different part of the country, or even just support you to get a place in the same area so you’re not having to put up with it 24/7. I’m not sure of your age, but if you’re 25 or under I know AKT supports LGBTQ+ people living in hostile environments. I’ve never used them personally but it’s one of the recommended charities on the Mind website. If you’re not 25 or under then there’s definitely other similar charities around that could support you.
I know things sometimes seem impossible, but sometimes talking through your options with someone can give you a bit of light at the end of the tunnel 
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That’s totally unfair, I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time. You should not have to justify your sex-life n at least you’re safe n under their roof, yous think that’d be better for her knowing that you’re safe. Yeah I definitely think the advice from @SexInTheCity is bang on as you shouldn’t have to justify your sex-life or preferences to anybody including your mom. I really do hope that you use any foundations out there to get yourself housed in a better environment, not meaning that you’re in a bad environment but having to justify yourself ain’t fair 
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Thank you. I’m in my late 20s. I have sought help from charities before but unfortunately haven’t had much luck. Been over 2 years looking for housing now. I’m at my wits end, it’s totally intolerable now. I could try reaching out to an lgbt specific charity but probably it’ll all be the same. Before my health got so bad I was considering packing a bag and just leaving because at least I would feel less like a prisoner if I was homeless.
Once my immediate medical needs are met (unfortunately likely to be another 2-3 months), I’m going to take off. Call it an extended holiday. I’ll stay in a b&b if I can’t find a landlord who’ll actually take me.
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Oh hun, my heart breaks for you, I took off at an we shall leave undisclosed n endured so many hardships but like you sleeping in a disused factory was better than living at home, my parents was so strict back then n I was so proud of myself getting out then fights endured in temporary accommodation which are really difficult to avoid btw 
but I got out of it n now life is good it’s really good so ano if I can do it at such an age anyone can.
I strongly advise you find an income whether it’s pip or esa for your medical reasons or work n find accommodation n not the temp kind, too easy fur them to end. My husband has been through it all too, his stories aren’t as horrific as mine but I was in a central location where the streets are hostile, don’t get me wrong loving on the streets anywhere is awful, I thoroughly recommend you work out where your going n how long the accommodation is for, can you afford all the expenses? Also I know that the council are obliged to help if you’re techlocally homeless, I don’t advise that path as it’ll be temp hostel like housing that’s bloody hard to keep hold of. I need to go I’ve wrote this whilst otherwise engaged but I’ll check back in in an hour or so 
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Been dealing with alot of late, but haven’t really vented, and felt like here would be a good place for support…
Just miss the older days when playing was easier… and this is what’s been bothering me…
2 kids (9yo and 8mth), so never a free moment, a new kitchen and bathroom reno, council plumbing works to the sewer line that runs down the side of our property, covid lockdown after lock down (I live in Victoria Australia), dealing with floods at work (I work with a restoration company - look at the recent Gippsland floods) and trying to battle alcoholism has put abit of a holt on toys and sex in general…
Then to top the start of the week off, went out to go to work today and the OH had a flat tyre, so I had to change that and be late to work…
Going to be a long week is all I can say…
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Thank you. I’m actually already getting PIP and Universal Credit. It’s not really finances that have prevented me getting a place. Lack of suitable property, non responsive agents/landlords and not having a guarantor have been my main issues.
The council have actually recognised a duty of care a few months ago because I’ve been classed as fleeing domestic abuse, but even then they have been very vague about when I might be offered a property. As you say, I don’t think temporary accommodation is suitable for me (especially as I also have very bad anxiety), but I’m looking at other parts of the country now, maybe I’ll be able to find somewhere that will take me. Worst comes to worst, I can afford a while in a hotel or b&b.
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@Queerantine @AshhhDTD sorry, nothing construstive to add im afraid. I just wanted to send both you guys big hugs 
Sounds like you need them
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@Queerantine do you have anyone, friends or relatives, who might be in a position to intercede with your mum and maybe get her to understand just how unreasonable she’s being? You’re an adult and should not have to put up with this rubbish.
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I just want to put it out there that what youre doing is incredibly brave n takes immense amount of courage. You’re definitely in a good place where people on the forums really do care, I’m amazed at the love around here n it definitely seems sincere.
Another part of the country could be exactly what you need, a fresh start away from all the stressers in your everyday life. It’s difficult nut try to spend as long as possible away from your mom when she’s trying to make out you’ve some sort of porn addiction, that’s ridiculous. I’m not wanting to sound.
That a good start getting pip as it’ll erradicate many of the insane costs uprooting can involve. Also there’s alot of companies who’ll help you move your stuff for very little as aposed to removal companies although if you don’t have all that much stuff. Also it’s not much money but you can apply for a community care grant if the council area you’re in give out cash as alot of them give goods instead now, unfortunately what they give are the cheapest they can find. Saying that when you’re starting a fresh it’s not to be overlooked, appliances cost lots of money when combined so this can save you alot. There is also the option of a budgeting loan which you’d have to Google as I think it’s just under £400 for a single person which really isn’t much and is going to come out of your benefits at whatever rate they decide. Now this shouldn’t be done lightly as you’ll be paying it back for quite some time n with moving you’ll likely notice the loss of income more than you’d think. I can’t recommend any charities as I didn’t know they existed at the time but wish I had as alot or pressure would of been eased. 2-3 months may seem so far away when you’re in a hostile environment but it’s not far now, I’m going to throw this in there n say save up some of your benefits as you’ll need a head start. Oh don’t pay full price for broadband like me, a few of the big companies you can get it for next to nothing when on benefits, not sure how it all works but definitely worth looking into.
Definitely check out the websites that were recommend even though you’ve been unsuccessful in the past it’s still worth trying. Citizens advice bureau are generally a cracking tool too, it’d be worth seeking them out about charity organizations n everything else mentioned.
Sorry if all this soubds overwhelming, I’m wanting to help like everybody else here I’m looking forward to seeing how you spread those wings n fly freely it’ll be brilliant whenyou’re in the new place
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Thank you so much! It’s really tought because I’ve been trying so hard for so long now and things haven’t worked out at all. I’ve been emailing agents all day, so maybe one will get back to me with some good news but I’m trying not to get my hopes up. Citizens Advice is a good call and if nothing comes of the agents, I will ask them for advice, they we’re very helpful when I applied for PIP.
Unfortunately not. I’ve been very isolated over the years so my only friend lives several hours away and my mum is stubborn and narcissistic, I’ve had to give up on her ever changing her attitude.
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No worries at all sorry that words are all i can offer. But you’ve got this 100%, it’ll seem way off 2-3 months as when you’re in a difficult living situation everyday draining n drags, just keep your eyes on the prize. Hopefully when your family see you living your best life they will be more accepting as nobody should try to control any part of us especially our parents. Unfortunately they justify their actions n totally believe "It’s for our own good 
".
I cannot wait until you feel free as a bird in your own place it’ll be brilliant obviously there’s always difficulties but you’ll overcome any obstacles you’ve come this far
I was thinking alot of agents are difficult with benefits unfortunately so that may be something to do with why it’s not as successful as you’d of thought. Unsure why because with benefits they’re definitely going to get paid so idk what that’s all about. Ideally if it was me I’d be looking for a cheap flat as private lettings more expensive than council. Have you put your name down for the council? I’d definitely do that now because it could take a long time to get a property unfortunately. Obviously update your application when you’re housed though which will up your place in the list generally (although all council districts might have different process that’s something I’m unsure of but you’re definitely wise putting your name down now 
.) Also go for a decorating grant, they’ll give you X amount to spend in certain shops on decorating supplies which is super handy as it’s an expensive you could do with minimising and this is the way
Sorry if I’m overloading you with information though.
Whilst your still living there could you put a lock on the door so nobody can storm in? It’s unfair not to have any free time everyone needs their own time. If you are struggling or looking for ideas please always come here as there’s always somebody lovely who’s going to try to help as best they can via a keyboard
Sorry your struggling so much @AshhhDTD life’s been totally flipped for everyone during this pandemic n with the obstacles your encountering no wonder you’re needing an outlet. Alcohol could help in the short term but hinder in the long term as it’s a depressant n there’s the risk of addiction. You’re doing the right thing coming here, so many people are skilled in different subjects meaning there’s always somebody who can offer top advice
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Thank you. The support really means a lot to me.
I’m all registered with my local council and they have recognised my need for a property and put me in band a. Even so, it’s really unclear how long it could take for somewhere to be available. I can’t cope with that limbo anymore, so I’m mentally giving up on it butnif something comes up before a private place does I’ll snap it up.
Unfortunately there’s not really anything I can do to get more privacy in the meantime without also causing conflict. It’s easier to wait it out now, I think.
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Hum I don’t know but band a sounds high up? Ours was a list of numbers so never experienced that before, councils have so many different methods these days. Even so it could take another two years n if you’re not prepared to wait so long you’re on the right track. What about housing associations? They might be a good bet, they generally take people who are on benefits (I’ve not hears of one that don’t.)
A bit out there but when I was figuring out how to start up YouTube I thought about doing a “this is my life from the streets” kind of thing. I haven’t gone with that but reckon it’d reach alot of people. Anyway if you felt comfortable n confident enough you could journey your life n that, just a thought
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A is the highest band, but even so there’s a huge lack of property so I’m not hopeful. I’m definitely looking for private.
That would definitely be an interesting YouTube series. I’m hopeful my situation won’t come to that and I’ll find a place in these coming months.
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I see the concern I know people who’ve been on the list for 10+ years n cos they’re not technically homeless they’re forgotten about. So I’d always advice to check out other options keep us posted anyhow I’ll be looking out for updates 
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