Covered in bees wrote:
I'm depressed and I hate it. it just goes on and on. Sometimes it gets better for a while but it never ever goes away. And I look back years and things seem worse overall, if anything. I'm so tired and anxious all the time. I keep getting hit by a wall of sad and I can't even move. It's like swimming through treacle and everyone else is still moving at top speed all around me. Every day I feel a failure. It takes all my energy keeping my head above water.
I don't want to complain and be whiney and irritate everyone around me. I just don't know what to do. I'm irritating myself because I can see what I'm doing, I know I'm slipping into negative thought patterns and I'm not doing what I should be doing to get better but it's just so damn hard and I'm exhausted. So I sit frozen and feel more and more guilty.
I'm sorry I'm not being positive and I'm sorry I'm not supporting others in here. I just needed to put that somewhere before it squashes me.
Aww Bees..I’m worried about you. Depression & anxiety are crap. Do you think it may be worth going to chat to your GP? Also think of how amazing you are and you definitely are. Sometimes it’s ok to be the person who needs the shoulder you know? I’m around if you need to chat Although I understand you may feel this is just another burden at the moment. I’ll come sit in your dark spot with you, just so you know you aren’t alone X
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I can relate Bees. You don't need to feel guilty about your feelings, you're allowed them. But know that you're definitely not a failure and nobody thinks you're whiney or irritating, that's just the depression talking. I know it's pretty much impossible to remember that when it's really bad. I just took some time away from the forums to try and deal with my mental health and I noticed I hadn't seen you about much since coming back, but I have been thinking of you and hoping you're doing okay.
-Gives a massive hug- I really hope you feel better soon, you're so lovely, and I'm sorry you're going through this - it's really not fair. I'm here if you want to talk, it's a shame we can't private message :( Let me know if there's anything I can do.
P.S. I haven't had chance to thank you for the present you sent me since I've tried it out. You made an amazing call - it's my go to toy now (: I put a review in today so it should be live in the next couple of days. You really brightened things for me when I was feeling awful, I hope knowing that makes you feel slightly better.
Aww Bees I can totally relate to this right now. I’m just coming out from a low and I’ve been in an awful place for the past few weeks feeling like I was only making everyone else’s lives awful- now I’m starting to get better my perspective has had a complete change though. Know that you’ll get there too, if you need a friend you are more than welcome to add me and message me whenever you feel low. Depression sucks but you can beat it, honestly you can. Just reading the messages above shows how great a person you are and how well thought of you are- people care, we don’t mind if you need to moan. You’re not human and we all do it xx
Bees, you're not being whiney or irritating - you're talking and that's one of the most powerful things you can do when you're in a shoddy place. Telling people how you feel, however much of an overview, is important. Everyone who experiences depression/anxiety experience different things - but something I think we all have in common is the absolute zapped of all energy. It's just super important to take time for yourself when you feel like that.
Something I found helpful is having a box of goodies which help me refocus or relax - my favourite chocolate bar, a sachet of hot chocolate, a colouring book, a bathbomb and maybe a face mask for a nice pamper, some nice smelling candles which chill you out, maybe a book or a favourite (happy!) film or tv show. Just things that comfort you and help you work your way out of the 'warpy thoughts' :)
I've suffered on and off with depression for 10 years now, it absolutely sucks. There's ups, there's downs, but you've got the strength in you to get through it and see the good in the world again. However hard it seems right now. :) Don't ever be scared to talk to people - I'll repeat what i said - you're not whiney, or irritating, you're human and talking is the best thing you can do. I'm new around here but I'm always happy to listen :)
Take care xx
My roommate decided to get together with my boyfriend after she set me up with him. They are now together and she's being extremely hostile towards me and is making a ton of racial and sexual shaming slurs at me. I'm really fuxkin frustrated and I don't know how someone can hate someone else for just existing when they didn't do anything wrong. Plus I'm barely making it by and trying to find somewhere else to live but nothing is working out and I'm annoyed to no end. I just keep my mouth shut and hide in my room and it just pisses her off even more. I don't understand it at all.
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NikitaMaxine
wrote:
My roommate decided to get together with my boyfriend after she set me up with him. They are now together and she's being extremely hostile towards me and is making a ton of racial and sexual shaming slurs at me. I'm really fuxkin frustrated and I don't know how someone can hate someone else for just existing when they didn't do anything wrong. Plus I'm barely making it by and trying to find somewhere else to live but nothing is working out and I'm annoyed to no end. I just keep my mouth shut and hide in my room and it just pisses her off even more. I don't understand it at all.
And I'm going to college and working full time. I feel bad for being upset with her. I don't know why I feel upset for being mad and hurt.
Aww bee's I'm so sorry my lovely your going through such a bad patch at the moment. I'm sending you the biggest hug ever. And know there are so many of us here with a good ear and shoulder to cry on.
Depression is such a tough thing to face as we all deal with things our own way. I've often felt like you and it's very hard to explain exactly how you feel.
Have you spoke to your doctors about this? Sorry not sure if you have or if your on meds. But I picked up the courage over 2 years ago to ask to go back on antidepressants after my 3rd son was born. I've been on and off them for years.
Also counselling is a God send to me. I went for a drink problem to start with and I've learnt so much about myself and my moods she has really helped me to cover come so much. I had tried counsellors in the past but never got on with them but Clair she is my angel and I truly thank her for getting me to open my eyes.
I know when I get really low I try to take a bit of time out for me my favourite is having a long bath door locked smelly candles lots of bath soak and a pink album. Really help shifts my moods for a short while.
I really hope you can see how much of a lovely person you are and a beautiful soul. I'm sorry I can't offer any more advice but just want you to know I'm here if you need to get stuff out your head. Xxxz
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I’ve been ill with the flu/aches/wisdom teeth coming through for the past 2 weeks! I’m fed up of it 😫 hate being ill
Really sorry to see so many people suffering at the moment here. It's incredibly difficult to know what to say to someone suffering with mental health issue if you haven't suffered them yourself. I have had days where i have felt a bit low or sad but nothing of a prolonged period and usually it's a case of me dwelling on something too much.
I hope everyone starts to feel better soon and that you have the support of family and friends close to you.
Big hugs all.
aw Nikita you have no need to feel bad for being upset and angry- your bound to be, it's a natal feeling after what she's done. Can you seek advice about the abuse you're suffering? You don't deserve to be treat that way and if you make an official complaint you may be able to access help/sevices that could find you in safer accomodation sooner rather than later. It sounds like your roommate is bullying you emotionally, that's not an easy thing to have to endure especially in a domestic setting. Hope you get sorted and feel better soon lovely xx
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SoontobeMrs
wrote:
aw Nikita you have no need to feel bad for being upset and angry- your bound to be, it's a natal feeling after what she's done. Can you seek advice about the abuse you're suffering? You don't deserve to be treat that way and if you make an official complaint you may be able to access help/sevices that could find you in safer accomodation sooner rather than later. It sounds like your roommate is bullying you emotionally, that's not an easy thing to have to endure especially in a domestic setting. Hope you get sorted and feel better soon lovely xx
So far he's been defending me and helping me find somewhere to go. I'm slowly working things out. Thank you for the support it means a lot. 🖤 I'm just uber frustrated with it all.
No problem at all, only a message away if you need anything lovely. You’re bound to feel frustrated- I know I would in your shoes, really hope you find somewhere soon xx
NikitaMaxine
wrote:
My roommate decided to get together with my boyfriend after she set me up with him. They are now together and she's being extremely hostile towards me and is making a ton of racial and sexual shaming slurs at me. I'm really fuxkin frustrated and I don't know how someone can hate someone else for just existing when they didn't do anything wrong. Plus I'm barely making it by and trying to find somewhere else to live but nothing is working out and I'm annoyed to no end. I just keep my mouth shut and hide in my room and it just pisses her off even more. I don't understand it at all.
NikitaMaxine, sending you (and everyone else who is experiencing bad times at the moment) a warming heart felt embrace from me and OHOMS (Other half of my soul), I would also like everyone to know that via the LH website you have friends whom you may never meet who care about you. I know that your life journey will get better
Bennyboy69
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NikitaMaxine wrote:
My roommate decided to get together with my boyfriend after she set me up with him. They are now together and she's being extremely hostile towards me and is making a ton of racial and sexual shaming slurs at me. I'm really fuxkin frustrated and I don't know how someone can hate someone else for just existing when they didn't do anything wrong. Plus I'm barely making it by and trying to find somewhere else to live but nothing is working out and I'm annoyed to no end. I just keep my mouth shut and hide in my room and it just pisses her off even more. I don't understand it at all.
Some people are just so messed up, Nikita, keep your chin up hon!
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Thank you to everyone who replied to my rant. I couldn't quite get words together to reply to you, I'm sorry. But, I read them all and really appreciated them all. So thank you MrPheebs, LittleMugs, SoontobeMrs, LouMac, Tazzy, and K&c. You are all lovely and your messages helped more than you know.
Hugs to anyone else struggling right now. Hang in there xxx
Covered in bees wrote:
Thank you to everyone who replied to my rant. I couldn't quite get words together to reply to you, I'm sorry. But, I read them all and really appreciated them all. So thank you MrPheebs, LittleMugs, SoontobeMrs, LouMac, Tazzy, and K&c. You are all lovely and your messages helped more than you know.
Stop being sorry, be dynamic, sexual, tired, sleepy, beautiful, strong but you don’t need to be sorry!
so mwah 💋
So not only do I have to have an operation (which I’m happy about) but has gotten in the way of me starting my new job straight away 😫I’ve now been to the dentist to be told they need to take out my wisdom teeth 😒 this is not the ‘busy’ year I expected
Congratulations on getting your op kinkyandcurvy. It's a shame it's going to delay the start date of your new job (another congratulations). As for the dentist i am sweating for you there. I hate going with a passion and always sweat buckets when i am in the chair. Top tip for tooth pain is to take a glug of an alcoholic spirit (vodka/whiskey) that isn't flavoured and at room temp and keep the spirit in your mouth next to.the problematic tooth......it numbs the tooth and gums for a little while and you get a little happy if you do it a few times and swallow 😀. Hope it all goes well.