Hey folks
I was hoping to ask if anyone had any recommendations for toys for us. I am married (and a cis woman, possible a bit enby, idk, but AFAB at least), to a trans woman who I love to bits.
Due to various things, we’ve not been connecting sexually as much for a while after I came to terms with the fact I am not comfortable giving felatio (yay, trauma!). We’re looking at toys to help us. She doesn’t really have genital dysphoria, so is happy having her bits involved, as well as butt stuff. I am a (giving, at least), butt stuff newbie. We do have a couple of strapons I intend to get the guts up to try (Im a nervous person by nature), and we have a pretty extensive toy selection already (used to be an active tester and had a blog etc) but a lot of it feels rooted in cishet sex, you know?
We do already engage in kink, so that’s likely to come into play too.
But yeah, I’m aware I’m a little out of the loop on toy developments and would particularly like recs from trans/enby/gnc folks and their partners as to what has been good for them.
Any help appreciated 
@OperationFilth Hello. I had to google so much with your post as I’m admittedly ignorant on exactly what a lot of the terms mean.
To clarify, and please bear with me, you have all the stereotypical woman parts (vagina, breasts) and your wife is trans and has breasts and a functioning “male” penis?
If I got that correct, or even if I don’t, firstly understand that sexual epicness fluctuates and goes up and down for all couples. So don’t be discouraged.
It’s awesome that you recognize the current sexual valley and that you don’t just want to accept it. That’s going to help every area of your relationship.
As far as toys, if you’re inexperienced, I might suggest trying them on yourself before trying with a partner.
I tried having my wife use a plug on me once. She’s a lot more timid with toys and was nervous. It got awkward when it started getting painful for me and I kinda ruined the experience a bit by not training myself more.
Though there is something to be said for training with a partner. If you both walk through trying toys together it can build trust and closeness as you figure out what you like.
Communication is always key. I’ve found that many times when I thought things were clear and understood that they weren’t. Better to clarify and verify than to have a fight later on over a misunderstanding.
Unfortunately that’s the best I have to offer right now. Sorry I don’t have more for you but I wish you the best 
I’m gnc, but I don’t have a partner so I can only really give you a solo pov. A strapless strap on can be a very enjoyable sensation, and you can usually independently change the vibration on both ends. They’re maybe not the best for fucking without an additional harness, but you can always start with the strap on and add a harness if necessary.
As your partner doesn’t have genital dysphoria, you could try toys designed for a penis (like a fleshlight or such, not my area, sorry!) or couples toys. Oh and a wand is always a good option for any genitals.
Assuming your partner wants to receive anal stimulation, do they currently masturbate with a dildo (or similar), if so, could she show you how she enjoys it? Is it in combination with penis stimulation too for a penile orgasm (ejaculation) or is it more prostate stimulation she likes.
If you are shown what she likes and how she likes to be pleasured, this could be a big step to gaining confidence that you can participate too.