I noticed while browsing the forums that there is no 'Relationship advice' section of LoveHoney's forums. So i thought i would create a Thread for just that!
So, if you have any advice or your own experiences to share on Relationships feel free to help the LoveHoney public with advice, or let them know your past experiences in Relationships.
All the best,
Sir.Thrustalot
People just tend to post here:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/orgasm-army/sex-tips-and-advice/
I think a thread that has a few deep posts in is likely to get confused very easily... perhaps suggest it in the suggestions thread instead.
The advice I wish someone had shared with me when I was in my previous relationship:
If your relationship feels like really hard work, take a step back & ask yourself what you're getting out of it. If the answer is nothing have a serious thought about why you're putting all that effort in for no gain.
Whilst it may be true "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" why the heck do you need to be that strong?
Am very happily married these days & it feels like a lifetime away but I wish someone had talked sense to me back then!
Oooo sorry! I thought you meant use this thread as one big round up for all people who require relationship advice. Apologies.
Communicate. Simple.
And if ending a sentence with 'simple' don't be tempted to add a random 's' just because the cute meerkat does, it makes you sound a bit of a wally when everyone else does it. Simple.
Time and communication. We rush into thing sometimes, not exploring, getting the deed done so to say, and it end up one or the other frustrated. So explore find out what fancies yours, and their tickle. You may find out new things. Goes hand in hand with communication, as you explore yo learn to know each other way more intimately.
jackador123 wrote:
Time and communication. We rush into thing sometimes, not exploring, getting the deed done so to say, and it end up one or the other frustrated. So explore find out what fancies yours, and their tickle. You may find out new things. Goes hand in hand with communication, as you explore yo learn to know each other way more intimately.
See thats the problem with todays society, everyone wants to rush into things, especially at my age. I mean i know two couples maybe been going out for approx 6-8 months and both had sexual intercourse within 1month, i mean i bet they couldn't tell me 12 things about eachother!
Sir.Thrustalot wrote:
jackador123 wrote:
Time and communication. We rush into thing sometimes, not exploring, getting the deed done so to say, and it end up one or the other frustrated. So explore find out what fancies yours, and their tickle. You may find out new things. Goes hand in hand with communication, as you explore yo learn to know each other way more intimately.
See thats the problem with todays society, everyone wants to rush into things, especially at my age. I mean i know two couples maybe been going out for approx 6-8 months and both had sexual intercourse within 1month, i mean i bet they couldn't tell me 12 things about eachother!
So true. Society is too sexually oriented now. If only we went slow and got to know. When i met my ex we said no sex, and it worked (till we broke up for other reasons). Got to know each other and were deeply in love, know each other like that. It would make things much better. Alas, Peer pressure ey!
Avrielle_Aniko wrote:
Me and the OH had sex within hours of meeting eachother! Lol! He was supposed to be a one night stand, but just didn't work out like that..
But there is a lot of pressure on young folks these days. (I say young, I'm only 23) They look for things to prove their maturity when they aren't quite ready for it. Relationships and marraige and babies. It's quite scary to see how many young people (by young I mean 16-25) who feel they need to rush in to things to show they can stand on their own 2 feet and it usually ends in tears. Whether this is them proving to themselves or to other people, I'm not entirely sure..
But if they are mature enough they're branded as if they are not... Can't win. Bastard adults.External Media
I think communication is the most important thing, that and respect for one another. I think it's important to put effort into a relationship otherwise it's easy to take each other for granted and making time for each other.
Adx
Selflessness. Not guaranteed to get you what you want out of a relationship, but a willingness to do nice things for other people without thought of repayment certainly won't do any harm in any relationship.
Some people might see that as being a doormat, some people might even abuse your good nature, but frankly that's their character flaw, not yours. You do also get the benefit of warm fuzzy feelings, and a lot of friends who know they can rely of you.
Oh, an aptitude and willingness for oral sex also helps...
YesChef wrote:
Selflessness. Not guaranteed to get you what you want out of a relationship, but a willingness to do nice things for other people without thought of repayment certainly won't do any harm in any relationship.
Some people might see that as being a doormat, some people might even abuse your good nature, but frankly that's their character flaw, not yours. You do also get the benefit of warm fuzzy feelings, and a lot of friends who know they can rely of you.
Oh, an aptitude and willingness for oral sex also helps... External Media
Great tip YC. I think altruism is awesome!External Media
I've known so many people who get walked over because they're so kind but as you say that is their character flaw not yours'
Sir.Thrustalot wrote:
jackador123 wrote:
Time and communication. We rush into thing sometimes, not exploring, getting the deed done so to say, and it end up one or the other frustrated. So explore find out what fancies yours, and their tickle. You may find out new things. Goes hand in hand with communication, as you explore yo learn to know each other way more intimately.
See thats the problem with todays society, everyone wants to rush into things, especially at my age. I mean i know two couples maybe been going out for approx 6-8 months and both had sexual intercourse within 1month, i mean i bet they couldn't tell me 12 things about eachother!
I Slept with my partner within 2 months when i was 16 and he was 15, we've been together now for 3 years and are really looking to the future!
my friend waited 9 months to sleep with her boyfriend (both 16) and he then broke up with her a week later.
it's not your age or the length of your relationship that matters, its compatibility
VW x
erm...well i waited a day with my oh before i slept with him...lol....and even that was a struggle!!..........the result.........celebrating 10 years of marriage next year......so as VW says.....its all to do with compatibility!!!!!
I'm the opposite extreme - we waited 15 months! It was the first time for both of us, so we were both in uncharted territory - added to which, the OH did bugger off to Australia for half a year, which kind of hampered any attempt to get into her knickers...
Worth the wait though - we've been together thirteen years now.
toxycat wrote:
erm...well i waited a day with my oh before i slept with him...lol....and even that was a struggle!!..........the result.........celebrating 10 years of marriage next year......so as VW says.....its all to do with compatibility!!!!!
That made me chuckle!
Welll done on that, and have a good time!
This relationship was the first time i have waited and it was for 2 weeks! I thought that was enough! 2 weeks without sex is to much to handle! x
Pinkilious wrote:
This relationship was the first time i have waited and it was for 2 weeks! I thought that was enough! 2 weeks without sex is to much to handle! x
When your older its so much easier... xD My age its a little more difficult... xD
Rushing is an issue - but being quick isn't...does that make sense? I'd describe doing something quicker than feels "right" is rushing, but it might not be rushing to have sex after a day!
2nd time I met WandA, we had some finger fun, but it felt right and we knew each other well. It can't have been that much of an issue because 5 years on we're still happy and committed.
I think the strongest relationships don't take each other for granted, aim to make one another happy, communicate well and genuinly care for each other. I think it's important to try! I do lots of little things to make WandA happy and I know he appreciates it - but it helps that he wants to do things for me too so it never feels like it's all give, give, give. I don't expect him to do nice things, that's not why I do nice things for him, I do them to make him happy - but the fact that he wants too aswell makes our relationship all the stronger.
Having done long distance means we really appreciate each other too and know how much we mean to each other. We never (or very rarely) take each other for granted and if I ever feel I might be doing I'll take a good look at all the wonderful things he is to me (puke :P)
I definitely would narrow it down to - communication, effort, selflessness and genuine caring and passionate love.
Adx
I think if you are in a relationship then, communication, trust and a Sharing Attitude are musts if a relationship is to last.
it OK to say `i want` every now and again you just need to remember there are two people to consider.
as for trust if you dont trust your partner whats the point.......
and communication not just about sex but strangly it is one subject the even between couples isnt discussed enough. befor i got married i was with my ex for a long time and in that time only talked about sex 3 times and one of thoes time was very close to the end, when we realised we wanted completly diffrent things, but with an attitude of well its my way or nothing made me realise that things wernt going to work.
My boyfriend and I are both in our early 20's , and we've been together 10 months .
We live together and I also have a 2 yr old that he was fantastic with.
When we met he was sweet, romantic and hilariously funny, he smiled lots and we didnt even have to try. And the sex was all the time but one thing that bothered me was that with him I don't have the same sexual confidence I had with previous partners I think because he was shy at the beginning.
Now my confidence has taken a huge dive because after about 4 months he seemed to lose interest in me , theres no passion from him , no affection and no sex im lucky if i get it about once a month, I cant initiate sex because I fear being rejected as he is never in the mood. He blames stress and tiredness at work but surely this cant be all the time?!! this has been happening for months now and I really love him but I have needs!
worse is that i know he has never behaved like this with previous gf's i know because he has a memory box he let me see which has letters and allsorts in.
I feel like theres something wrong with me, I feel unattractive and unwanted I especially don't want to feel like he'ssettled for me .
It doesnt help that a gained a little weight when I started medication and I dont feel as attractive anymore .
arrrrrrrrrrgh Im extremely frustrated and toys and alone play are not enough because i'm starting to feel resentful.
please help (and some male feedback would be helpful too! )
