I often find it’s nothing to do with you as to why the other partner does things, it’s the person themselves. Maybe she is just bored or wants a bit more fun I’m not sure but either way she needs to be honest about the real reasons behind this, yes I’ve been through it so much of what you are saying is almost identical to what I went through and it was probably one of the hardest things I have been through but I did come out the other side. Being more jealous or possessive wouldn’t of stopped this, it probably just would of added fuel to the fire behind whatever reason she did it for. It really resonates with me your post does because as I say, so much is identical to what I went through and I know how extremely hard and emotionally draining the situation is to go through, unfortunately the only and best advice I can give you is just grab the bull by the horns and try your best to get to the bottom of it and don’t let it lie because that’s when your setting yourself up for a repeat a few months down the line 😪 it’s such an awful situation to be in it makes my heart ache for you. I really hope you can either more forward with her or without her with your head held high, no one deserves to be disrespected especially by the ones they love 😔 hugs to you I really hope things pick up for you soon
The fact she was sharing private pictures and virtually denying your existence and then she doesn't see it as a problem, suggests it is a problem....and it's not yours!
I would class it as cheating, not physically, but emotionally..if she was doing stuff that she wouldn'tr want you to find out about...then that's cheating. What happens now is entirely up to you...do you allow it to continue? Do you draw a line and say 'no more'? Are you prepared to walk away if the behaviour continues? How much would it hurt you to continue in a relationship where the other party was disrespecting you like that? Unfortunately, only you can answer those questions.
Don't be a doormat, you have every right to be entitled to respect in a relationship, to have your feelings considered and to be treated as an equal.
You said you would like to try counselling but she would never do it. This for me is triggering some alarm bells. If its something you want to do to try and repair your relationship then ask her. If she does refuse it demonstrates that she either thinks it doesn't need it or she can't be bothered or doesn't want to fix it. My husband was apprehensive at first but I told him I can't see a way forward without it. We were quickly booked in and he still arranges our appointments. I really hope you get some help with this. I don't want you hurting. X
Thanks sd63 & RosyCheek
I don't want to be a doormat its just when i'm in a relationship im in it for the good and bad and i don't like to walk away unless thats the only option, I just have to get it through to her by saying she was single then thats not ok and i want to know why she felt she needed to say she was.
With counselling she is not the sort of person that would talk to a stranger i don't think its her not being bothered, plus she would explode if anything was said against her, I just need to get it through to her what is going on in my mind.
I have to say this is really getting me down i have epilepsy which is controlled pretty well but now things are happening because of the stress 
Sounds like she is a bit closed off to how this is affecting you...if you simply saying that her behaviour isn't acceptable and telling her how it's hurtng you isn't good enough for her to do something about it then I don't know what you can do....the old saying of leading a horse to water springs to mind. You cannot effect change unless the other person is receptive to change. All relationships have good and bad periods....but no relationship should cause one person pain and hurt because of the behaviour of the other, especially if the other party cannot/will not see that their behaviour is wrong.
I'm so sorry to hear this! :(
Sometimes people can't help themselves or think the grass is greener. Every relationship I have been in I've been cheated on so I completely relate. I've even stood by people then photos have surfaced on Facebook proving me wrong :(
Trust is so important in relationships and doing this has broken it. She is is completely in the wrong and I think that it sounds like a very unhealthy situation to be in. You seem very open and like you obviously have strong enough feelings for her that you're looking past this all.
The single part is absolutely ridiculous. If you are happy in your relationship, you should always be proud and never say otherwise! If she is telling people she is single, that is a huge indicator of where her mind is at and as horrible as it sounds, I think you need to seriously evaluate whether you should remove yourself from that scenario for your own sake.
Hi MissTerror Thank You Yes I do have very strong feelings for her.
We have been talking i think she just can't bring herself to say she said she was single because she isn't the sort of person that does that sort of thing i'm not even sure she knows why she said it, she still keeps saying she never said she was single, Who the hell do i believe I should be trusting the person i have been living with for 18 years, I don't wan't to get into everything but to cut it short the male person thought he was talking to her but it was me and i said something and he was then saying so you are not single etc.. He knew things about my daughter going through a eating disorder and being anxious. But when i say well he said this she said you cant trust what he is saying he had been banned from the chatroom and this is why she has his email, but it doesn't explain why she had this other persons email, Maybe he was banned from the chatroom and then came back using another username.
I just don't know.
My girlfriend has been going through some rough years with her pain she is now telling me its just messing her mind up.
I am so sorry to hear this teacake, I know from personal experiences in this it is hard and very heartbreaking.
I just wanted to say that you need to go with your gut, what do you truly feel is true and only you can know if you can trust again or if it will become too much of an issue.
Personally, I think she does need to speak with you more about it as I feel like you need some more resolution on the matter and she is disregarding that, which is sad. Perhaps she is embarrassed or angry she was caught out - I don't know but she does need to understand your hurting through this.
But, please take care of yourself in all this.It is easy to lose yourself when something like this happens.
Thanks Leanne My heart tells me she has been talking to some weird people online that like to make things up, I do Trust that she will never cheat on me.
We have been talking and clearing alot up now since i made this post, I think letting it out on here has helped Big Time.