I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years now and everything was going fantastic, I coul see any problems, then on Sunday we had a little row due to me expressing my concerns about her work hours and that she doesn't look well from it, she is a manager of a betting shop and she has worked 85 hours a week for the last 3 weeks and I just said to her, can't you book a few days off and just chill out abit because you don't look well. With that she started saying stop telling me what to do, it's my life not yours and I was just like woah calm down I'm only saying. With that she got up and walked out and told me that she needs some space to think about our relationship. Me being me and not wanting to lose her I respected her wishes and gave her a few days space, today I went out and bought her a sorry card, I had a big heart cookie made with im sorry I love you on it and I bought a bunch of roses. I dropped them to her at work said I'm sorry and walked out. She said it was kind but she still needs space by text. I just text back I love you, she said it back. The problem I've got is it's effecting my everyday life, I'm not sleeping at night, I tried to work but I've just got no motivation and end up rowing with my clients. So now I'm sitting at home on my own, waiting for her to make contact and it's absolutely killing me.
It doesn't sound to me like you've done anything wrong, although without being there it's impossible to know. From an outsiders POV it sounds like a fairly trivial fight, so perhaps there's something else going on that she doesn't feel ready to talk about. Has she shown any signs of depression etc? Sorry if that sounds judgemental, but when I've had bouts of depression I've always pushed people away when they've tried to help.
Really it's hard to advise, if she's asking for space then do your best to give it to her, it might do you both some good. I appreciate how hard it must be for you at the moment, I've been in a similar situation with an ex partner before and it's horrible sitting at home worrying about everything. In the mean time perhaps try some meditation or yoga to calm you down. You could even look in to some essential oils like Lavender, or try taking a herbal extract like Valerian Root to soothe you.
i agree with boogaloo. Sounds like you done nothing wrong but for the moment distract your self with films family and walks.give her space maybe one txt asking her how was her day. Shell open up when she ready
If she's been working 85 hours a week for the last 3 weeks she's very likely physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. This dosen't as Boogaloo has said, sound like a major argument but I can see and understand why you feel the way you do.
It's great that are able to do as she's asking even though you're obviously finding it very difficult. She may not know why she snapped at you and could quite possibly be feeling really bad about all this herself, but is not sure how to sort the problem - when you're tired and exhausted the smallest thing can be a trigger to losing it and when things go wrong we often take it out on the person we love the most.
Dont know if I can offer much in the way of advice as you're doing what she's asking of you. Hopefully she'll be in touch again very soon and you can reassure her that you were just worried and not trying to be controlling - xx
Dan ,I don't think its something to over worry about at the moment . I am assuming that prior to this incident that your relationship was OK and everything was running smooth .
It could be that her hours are making her ratty and she is just taking it out on you. If she loves you and I would imagine she does , she will be back . Perhaps she does need space to stop taking her work problems out on you and pehaps to clear her head. Many couples have spats including my own ( I was in the firing line of a pot mug and it hurt ) its how you make it up to each other after that counts .
On saying that don't leave it to long either. Just give her a few days and then try and contact her to test the temperature. But take it easy and don't rush her .
I forgot to mention in the first one that we are also going to Greece next month and I got my insurance papers through and she has got to sign to say she's going, they have to be sent back ASAP and I don't know how to ask her, because if she says take my name off of it then I don't know what I'm going to do. We was texting every now and then ie: morning and then at lunch asking how each other were and then night before we went to bed. But I text her last night saying good night and then this morning saying good morning, but she isn't even reading them. I don't live with her we both still live with our parents, so we have had not face to face contact since Sunday
Go round and talk to her. Communication is the crux of all relationships .Call me old fashioned but I ain't into texts . At worst her parents may prevent you from seeing her but you ain't going to know that unless you go around. If that happens expalin the situation about the insurance or leave the docs with the parents . Nothing is going to happen if you just stay at home worrying .
Sounds as though she has been overdoing things work wise lately. These long days have obviously affected her and she may feel stressed. You need to talk however and texting is not the way. If she is busy at work she may look upon texts as an extra annoyance.
You really need to visit your girlfriend to sort out your travel arrangements, and your relationship. You are obviously a caring lad and have strong feeling for her. Stay calm, talk things through and hopefully things will work out well for you. Good luck Dan.
I can't talk to her while she is at work as she can't leave her station while she's working, tonight and tomorrow she's on 7am till 10pm shifts and then gets a lift her with a girl from work. In the sorry card I gave her I wrote, please give me one chance to meet face to face and sort this out and all she text me back was I need my space my space please respect that, I'm stuck because I dont want to keep on at her to meet me but I can't go to her work and speak to her because she's behind I security glass with 2 other employees with her. I really really don't know what to do.
Why on earth is she working such hours?! Tbh that sounds excessive, and I I have worked as a HCA and we used to do double shifts on occasion, but not on that sort of extended level. If she volunteering to get money, or is her boss forcing her to cover extra shifts instead of hiring a replacement? Either way...she is definitely facing a period of rattiness as that sort of shift work is going to have her totally run down. Maybe have a word with her parents to sound out why she I'd flogging herself to the detriment of your relationship. Maybe there is something bothering her,and she is covering up with exhausting herself. Maybe things got unintentionally serious between you and she has got nervous about it. You do need to find out what is going on... Gl
It's a bit of both to be honest, she volunteers some times but she's just taken over as manager of this shop and 2 other employees left so she is having to cover aswell, I can't go to her parents as I'm forbidden from their house as of summer 2013. Her dad is fine I see him here and there as we are both in the building trade and we chat and get on well, her mother won't have me near the house. I'm just hoping this all ends soon and she wants to meet me to talk things over
My! You have a tough time. What on earth did you do to get banned since 2013?! Word of advice...always get on with the in laws to be. If she has taken on such a huge new role, and is short staffed, I can see she would automatically go into default cover mode...but she needs to hire ppl to fill those gaps, not work herself into the ground. It is an auto response when you are in responsible positions, you end up flogging yourself as you feel the lack of workers is your responsibility. Maybe chat with her dad..a d see if he can get her to have some down time that she can recharge her batteries, and spend time with you
Dan - If you really want that girl and I think you do. .Then you really are going to have to go and get her even if it meens carrying her away from work or home in the same way Richard Gere did in an "Officer and a Gentlemen"
Making excuses and self pity isn't going to put this right for you.
Her mum and dad split up in the summer of 2013 and her mum kicked her out at 2am in bra and knickers and left her on the street, the next day I went down there with her to get her clothes and belongings and her mum had thrown the all away and her brother then came out and started swinging punches at my gf so me as the bf I punched her brother and now her mum has a court order on me that I'm not allowed within 200ft of the house because she says she's scared of me -.-, after a year of my gf living at my house my gf's mum and dad got back together and they worked things out and she has now moved back in, that was in October 2014.
And my mum has just came home from lunch to tell me that, my gf had text her to find out how I am and she has agreed to meet me friday afternoon
Well thats a step in the right direction . We all hope it works out well for you. Just tread carefully and listen to what she has to say first and try not to interrupt . It could well be she just wants to apologise and make up for the treatment and grief that she has given you.
Where do you intend meeting? I recommend a nautral venue that you both know well ie out of the way of parents which will give you both chance to sort out your differences without interference .
Her mum and dad split up in the summer of 2013 and her mum kicked her out at 2am in bra and knickers and left her on the street, the next day I went down there with her to get her clothes and belongings and her mum had thrown the all away and her brother then came out and started swinging punches at my gf so me as the bf I punched her brother and now her mum has a court order on me that I'm not allowed within 200ft of the house because she says she's scared of me -.-, after a year of my gf living at my house my gf's mum and dad got back together and they worked things out and she has now moved back in, that was in October 2014.
And my mum has just came home from lunch to tell me that, my gf had text her to find out how I am and she has agreed to meet me friday afternoon
Good starting point Dan. Good luck on Friday. Remember, stay calm.
Her mum and dad split up in the summer of 2013 and her mum kicked her out at 2am in bra and knickers and left her on the street, the next day I went down there with her to get her clothes and belongings and her mum had thrown the all away and her brother then came out and started swinging punches at my gf so me as the bf I punched her brother and now her mum has a court order on me that I'm not allowed within 200ft of the house because she says she's scared of me -.-, after a year of my gf living at my house my gf's mum and dad got back together and they worked things out and she has now moved back in, that was in October 2014.
And my mum has just came home from lunch to tell me that, my gf had text her to find out how I am and she has agreed to meet me friday afternoon
Youzers!!! Sounds like your gfs mum flipped!
OK ...stay clear...stirring up old wounds there will likely spill over.
But I am glad to hear your gf has reached back out. By supportive and understanding... Being a manager in an understaffed new roll, she looks to have tried to quick fix the problem by covering herself, with no long term solution, she will be not only exhausted , she will be ratty, disappointed, frustrated, undervalued/ and probably criticising herself that she has got into a bit of a mess...
Your holiday in Greece could be triggering a response that she feels she can't afford the time out as things are too stressed at work, and that leaving it is the last thing she should do....but in reality it is exactly what she's needs.she needs to step back and get a realism check, and stabilise the employee s to cover the extra shifts, without burning ppl( herself) out, and hire a replace ement pronto.
Without this...she will probably continue filling the vacuum with herself.She really needs to recharge her emotional and physical batteries... She is probably overwhelmed at work to find a permanent solution.
She has asked me to pick her up from work on Friday afternoon and were quite close to the sea like literally 50second drive, so I'm thinking of picking her up parking up and walking along the shoreline