Hi, Looby-lou,
don't know if you're still interested, but here's my input...
I first bought a Tiani 2 a few years ago from Lelo and am happy with it. It was a much debated choice between this and the then newest WeVibe (maybe II?). When in the year's time from purchasing I had to send it back to Lelo, the Tiani 2 was not in commerce anymore beacuse the still available Tiani 3 had come out. I specifically asked them to send me a Tiani 2 (and fortunately they could provide) as a replacement as I thought that the Tiani 3 is way too bulky on the external side - but you might not find it is if you are willing to give it a try! The Tiani 2 works well, it is silent enough (I've worn it in the car with it "buzzing away" and other people in the car unknowing, and no, the stereo wasn't on). I wouldn't be afraid of it slipping out, the underwear should be more than sufficient in preventing this from happening. I find the remote is not the discreetest thing, especially that it buzzes OR flashes the led when on. I will get to the remote in my next point.
I then really wanted the Lelo Hula Beads when they came out. With two different Hula Beads sent out to me, neither repsonded well to the remote. I've never had this issue with the Tiani. But the Hula Beads just stoped taking comands from the remote after the first few. Very disappointed! So I've come to the conclusion that remotes only have a chance of working properly if the part of the toy that should take the commands is OUT of your body. I think the body itself is blocking the remote's commands to the toy. My Hula Beads had difficulty taking commands from the remote even with me naked and the remote kept on my belly. In addition, when out and about, you have also clothes on. Tiani on the other hand works fine from several meters away with me dressed and maybe some furniture in between me and my husband.
I now desperately wish for a We Vibe 4+ though, beacuse of the app thing, as I think in today's world the app is the most discreet way of going about it in public. Also, my husband spends loads of long periods away on business trips nowdays :(.
So, to sum up: I would recommend you to invest in a high-end product for these special occasions, and you'll have a better chance at success. Lelo, I'm sure even the newest Tiani3, is quiet enough to use even in a silent restaurant. But I would only choose a product that has the comand-recieving part out from your body and not inside! I'm sure you'll have a fab time! ;)