by @Gothic-tricks, 29 Dec 2015
Penis Pasta
I bought this as a house-warming gift to self, along with some other stuff that had caught my eye. The order arrived with Lovehoney’s and Royal Mail’s usual swiftness and efficiency.
In the form in which I received it, the main part of the packaging is a blue box of thin card, the front of which carries a cartoon drawing of a semi-anthropomorphised penis wearing a chef’s hat, along with a cutout through which can be seen the pasta itself, in all its phallically edible glory. It’s in a plastic bag inside the box, so no need to worry about spills! The back of the box bears a recipe, repeated in multiple languages, for ‘penis pasta with big balls’ (meatballs, that is!). The box contains roughly 200g pasta, which is enough to make two main-course portions or three starter-sized portions (fun fact, pasta usually serves as the starter rather than the main in Italy).
puts chef’s hat on Right, now for the technical stuff! Aesthetics aside, this is yer basic durum wheat pasta. The shape contains a lot of holes and gaps, which in durum wheat pasta typically indicates a pasta shape that is good to use with more liquid sauces, especially tomato-based ones. This pasta can certainly be used for that purpose, but given the specific shape of the product, the aesthetic effect could potentially be somewhat alarming. I would therefore recommend using this pasta with a cheese sauce, or with a lemon-based sauce from somewhere like the Amalfi coast – these are likely to fit with the theme of the shape, certainly in visual terms!
When I gave this pasta the cook-test, I used a tuna-and-tomato sauce for two reasons: 1) I wanted to test my own hypothesis about the aesthetics. 2) It was what I had in stock. I can definitely say that this penis pasta works very well simply as pasta! It certainly tasted good, and one box made two generous meals. The ‘increases in size when cooked’ advisory is definitely accurate!
In sum, I can say that this is an excellent pasta for general use (if your sense of humour so indicates) or for a cheeky gift for someone who’ll appreciate it. Butta la pasta! (tr. = ‘throw in the pasta’)
Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars
Pros: Very good, untroublesome pasta shape.
Cons: N/A.
Bottom Line: Excellent durum wheat pasta for those with a mucky sense of humour.