I've got to the point where anything related to sex, toys, lingerie etc is Really really pissing me off, I'm packing all of our stuff away ( out of sight out of mind ) And may be flogging a shit load off on ebay.
I just can't keep going on like this, I have to accept that my sexual relationship is going to be nothing like anyone's on here, Ever.
If I want to make my relationship work, I'm going to have to forget about all this stuff altogether and be happy with what I do get.
Loves you all to bits and Hope you all have a lovely new year.
I'm the last one to be giving relationship advice -( remember things aren't always what they seem) and I don't know what your relationship is with your OH but you need to think about how happy you are in general in your relationship if sex is a big part your missing (and want).
Either way, nice to see you around if you decide to pop back on x
Sed, what's the longest you've gone without being on the forum & if you have a break do you think it'll help?
Take it things still bad x
Incidentally, ICD without thinking the thoughts I keep thinking!
Being on the forum actually helps, Jade agrees, I am less pestery and full on about sex etc, I'm just getting in a state over it at the moment and like in my BPD thread, It's making me angry... I don't want to be on here with such lovely friends when I'm so full of anger right now! Last thing I want to do is snap at someone I care about! :(
Am sure you know what's best for you Sed, sometimes time out is good to help provide clarity without distractions, then again sometimes it's good to provide distractions, hence only you knowing what's best...
I hope you find the resolution you need, take care x
I don't think leaving would be best for me actually lmao!
I'm so effing confused! Jade thinks I need to stay on here as my friends on here are the closest thing I have to a support network!
It's ironic that every other aspect of my life is under control, Our relationship is actually rock-solid and we love eachother very dearly!
But as soon as my libido rears it's ugly head, It all turns south!
How can it be normal to feel horny, But for that horniness to be a negative emotion...
When I feel horny, Which is 95% of the day, every day, every week, I immediately feel guilty, Very very angry, Lonely, Sly, Hatefull and on the verge of self destruct?!
Only the other night I was thinking if I started cutting my penis, Would it eventually stop me feeling horny
I know, I KNOW, .... I self-harmed for a long time and even tried you know what a lot of times, And I know it's not a path I want to go down again! So it's not gonna happen!
Then I start googling various pharmacutical drugs, In the hope I will find one that will kill my libido, Or maybe has a side-effect that will do the same job...
Really this all belongs in my other thread about bi-polar disorder and hypersexuality! Actually, I may see if a mod will merge the two tomorrow?!
Why oh why, When the rest of my life and emotional state is under control, Does this side of me have to be so fucking messed up??? I feel like a freak!
I Do apologize to you all for all my venting and ranting at this time of year! I just feel so bloody out of control, In this side of things :(
You know sometimes its good to have a rant, even if no-one replies/answers your questions.
Sometimes, just writing it down 'gets it out there' and means you don't have to keep it in your head, and whilst none of us could offer you professional advice, just anonymous support can be good.
I can't remember, did you say in another thread that you were seeing someone to help you through this.
Like I said in your other thread I have ZERO experience of what you're going through so I don't want to offer support that may be completely shite. But is it worth you keeping a diary of your emotions? So that you can track things that happen right before your libido spikes, which may help you recognise the signs in the future.
Also, its easy to sit here and tell us how you feel now but if someone asks you in 3 weeks time how you've been over the last month its harder to remember every day. Perhaps writing it down, will track trends but also get some of your feelings out of your head, plus help medical professionals track how you're feeling.
Sorry if this is crap advice, its just when I feel down I know what triggers it. Rectifying it is a whole different matter but recognising what triggers it, helps me to try and prevent it before it happens - if that makes sense?
Oh honey, that can't be easy to have all that on your shoulders. You're such a lovely person, it's heartbreaking to see you dragged down. If you think a break from it might help, we'll all miss you, but you have to do what's best for you, and you can always come back if/when you think that's a good idea.
I'd definitely support LK's idea of 'journalling' what you're thinking and feeling. It's one thing most therapists will agree on, having something articulated in the moment can give a much better impression of what you've been feeling than trying to summarise it from a more logical place. Means that you can go back and see what triggers were most common, which coping mechanisms worked better than others, all when you're having a day that your head's striaght enough to think about it properly, but without that meaning you can't get into the mindset you were in at the times. Also means that if you do go to therapy of some description, or doctors, or anything, they'll be able to better see what exactly you are going through from within an episode.
At the very least it's good to see that J wants to help, so just remember that she's there: don't cut her out and try to spare her, all it will do is make her feel pushed aside and you angry and isolated (and guilty for making her feel bad about it).
And of course if you do need to have a rant or vent a little, no one here's going to be upset. Sometimes it is better to just spew it all out there, so remember there's folk who'll listen and even if they can't help, there'll be sympathy and a little positivity.
You have made an impact in the time you've been here. I do hope you manage to find some balance in your life to make you happy. x
Sed, if you really think it will help, then do it. I don't seem to have a very good idea of what would be most helpful for you, and I'm sorry for that, but if you quit the forums and just need a random, non-judgemental friend to rant at, I'll drop you my new e-mail.
Any time, mate. No problem too small, no fuck-up too big.
I am sorry to hear things are so tough for you at the moment Seduced.
Maybe a little time just replying to the 'silly game' type posts would do you some good? That way you are still part of the community but your not too involved.
I do hope that you come back to us in the future but right now your health and your relationship are more important.
After a lengthy chat with Jade, We've both agreed it's going to be better for me to stick around. I'm not getting rid of our stuff, That was my messed up head talking last night!
I'm waiting for my gp to call me on the 4th to confirm my refferel to the people who are going to deal with/diagnose my BPD...
I am going to talk to him though and explain how my suspected Hypersexuality has got unbearably high recently.
Also going to call samaritons to see if they can put me onto someone who can help me through this.
Jade does want to help me through this, But having a virtually non-existent sex drive means she is finding it difficult to cope with.
For now, I'm watching what I call 'sensual' porn to help me get the release of energy I need right now.
Masterbating on it's own isn't working as it feels all too mechanical/clinical right now - If that makes sense? So, Sensual porn and decent lube it is for me lol!
Thanks again everyone, You've all written lovely replies which have reminded me why I need to stay put!
A sexual therapist would be your best bet as they are trained specifically on these issues and aren't embarrassed or shocked by the things you tell them. Could well be an hormonal issue as well? Worth seeking advice either way.
If they go down the medication route the best ones for modulating a sex drive without totally killing it seem to be mood stabilising (been on enough of them for totally different reasons) however right now it sounds like you need to rant a bit, and seek counselling. It's good J is trying to understand, and to be honest when my brother is struggling with anger, confusion and frustration there are a lot of exchanges we just strike from the record afterwards. Not because they do not matter but because sometimes we all say things later regretted and meant at the time. *hugs* Sounds like things are really tough right now. Try to remember that things aren't always the way they seem or sound on here and the quality of relationships in non-sexual areas also varies *hugs*
oow hunny :( i hope your feeling better soon :/ i know things must be really hard and ive had my fair share of feeling lonely/upset/depressed/angry and all the other emotions under the sun, all which can be made worse by my high sex drive and my partners really low sex drive! :/ if it helps i know you were on about tablets with sie effects.. some anti-depressants have a lot of side effects which lower sex drive dramatically, ive found some useful and some downright frustrating but its worth a try, its a good idea that your seeing your GP and the sensual porn is a good idea too! i eally hope you dont leave though :( even though i dont always reply directly to you im always reading your posts and what not and your a big part of the community!
if you ever want to chat my email is on my profile, feel free even if its just for a rant :) xxx
Thankyou so much sweetie! This post makes me feel all emotional and stuff External Media
