Sex and alcohol

Just curious after all this time did you find a solution to your question how is it all going now?

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Just reread the post and raised my curiosity also.
Hoping things improved a little for @Kitty-Cat01

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Mrs S can actually only orgasm in the morning when she’s got a bit of a hangover and is totally exhausted. :wine_glass: :wine_glass: :wine_glass: Luckily I enjoy making this happen for her without expecting anything in return. :kissing_cat:

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Thanks @Steve_Laura69 and @Mr_Kink1, I haven’t really found a solution to be honest. I keep thinking of posting but never got round to it. I’ve cut down on the alcohol and only drink at weekends now and generally about 1 bottle of wine a week.

My sex drive has dropped off the scale really, i’m probably just a bit low in mood. I can feel horny when i’ve got a day off but when it comes to sex i just feel uncomfortable and lose interest almost immediately. I can still orgasm alone but it feels forced and my sensitivity has reduced too. I love playing with my nipples or having them played with but now i don’t get as much sensation and although it feels nice it’s not arousing or exciting anymore. I’m hoping that, if i can accept the way things are for now, it might improve in the future.

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Hopefully you can find a solution, I’m going on the assumption you have a stressful life? One good thing can be to exercise Im not a personal trainer anymore but it still stays with you, and I’m still qualified, maybe some exercise will help you out also maybe a change of food intake or food eaten may help you out too, there are a few solutions but they don’t all work for everyone, hopefully you can find some thing that can help keep us posted or if you need any help be sure to post again if you have tried the above or need help with it.

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I’m glad you’re not using alcohol to force the issue any more, sorry the underlying issue is still there.
Maybe take a break completely, give things a little chance to reset a little, might bring some sensitivity back.
I think probably the most helpful, at the same time most difficult, thing to do is look at what it is making you feel uncomfortable. Seems like there’s something going on there that, as you say, leaves you losing interest. Sounds like the barriers come up to protect you from being vulnerable perhaps.
Really hope things do get better for you.

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A couple of drinks relaxes me really nicely. Once I have had a decent glass of wine or more than about a pint of beer I lose all interest in sex, it’s just too much effort. All I want to do it put my feet up with a book or a film.

I can’t drink in the day for the same reason, all I want to do is come home and put my feet up.

If I want sex then it’s zero alcohol for me.

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How is this all going now? Just thought about this topic earlier in church as they busted the wine out today lol we both don’t drink and it made me think of you for some reason? We aren’t religious at all so this isn’t some religious thought I had we just like going on a Sunday when football season isn’t on as I coach our local kids team.

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Sorry I didn’t reply to your post sooner, I’ve been on holiday! Not much has changed if I’m honest. I’m struggling with my mental health in general at the moment and sex with my husband doesn’t happen very often partly because of how I’m feeling but also because he’s not particularly interested - I think he’s a bit stressed too. A glass of wine or two makes me feel a bit better and more in the mood for sex or, at the moment, a bit of solo play. My GP doesn’t consider it excessive drinking so it’s more of a personal concern than a medical one apparently. Thanks for thinking of me x

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Hope you enjoyed your holiday, and we hope you both get back on track soon x

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Sounds like you need to have a good discussion with your partner and tell him whats goong on an how it makes you feel. He should be very understanding. Id say start slow and maybe try to have some alone time that way there is no pressure or expectation for you to perform. You say your horny in the daytime so maybe take some time to yourself then or in the morning so you haavent had,all day to build it up and make yourself anxious.

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What an interesting thread @Kitty-Cat01
I particularly like reading some of the comments by @Mr_Kink1, @Steve_Laura69 and @Saffron18
My wife and I are both in recovery and neither of us has had a drink or a drug in over 10 years.
We both had similar stories - we were just massive party people when we were younger (I worked in the music business and put on big parties for a living)
It’s been a journey, but now I wear life like a loose garment - most of the time. I was dependent on alcohol to relax and feel myself, but now I really am myself.
My wife suffers more from anxiety than me, but she is mama bear and had a pretty anxious upbringing - she has tools to deal with it now.
One thing I would say is, our sex life now is amazing. I find sober sex way more exciting and fun than when I was drinking.
We are both fully present for the experience, and the lights are fully on! We often joke, “it’s like sex - but sexier” :slight_smile:
One thing that you noted @Kitty-Cat01 was "My OH doesn’t really like foreplay particularly and would prefer to just skip to “the main event”
In all the podcasts I listen to, with lots of women talking about their sexuality, and researchers like Dr Emily Nagoski (read her book, Come As You Are - about female sexuality) is that women (in general, most of the time) need a much bigger warm up than men.
That may not be true for everyone but it certainly is for my wife - particularly in sobriety.
She loves baths, candles, massages … and to be honest, I love all that now. I think it makes the whole experience just more sexy and fun and … nice!
Men in general, need to get their heads around what really turns women on. We all need to understand our partners and what their needs are.
It sounds a bit like you need to have a drink in order to accommodate your partners lack of willingness to slow things down to the way you like it. I used to drink to short circuit lots of things in my life.
But - that could just be me reading my own story into yours, and apologies if so.
I hope you guys find a way to work it out and have the best fun - you deserve to have your needs met in bed.
If in the future you decide to quit drinking for good - all I can say is, don’t dread it. You can have an amazing life and life for both me and my wife is hugely better for it.
We get to live the life of our dreams now and try and be the best we can for each other.
Of course - we fuck that up a lot! But we’re trying :slight_smile:
Good luck on your journey :pray:

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I want to share my experience and let you know that there’s hope. Sobriety has brought so much improvement to my life, including more fulfilling sex life. Being fully present at the moment and exploring new experiences has been amazing. It’s important to understand each other’s needs and communicate openly. Women often require more foreplay and warm-up, and it’s worth exploring what truly turns you and your partner on. If you ever decide to quit drinking, don’t fear it. It’s a journey, and there’s a brighter side waiting for you. You deserve to have your needs met and enjoy the best fun in bed. I used to have issues with drugs and alcohol too. It took some time, but I found help through alcohol rehab essex. They were a game-changer for me.

Agreed, I don’t drink a lot at all now, and sex is all the better for that. :fire:

I really doubt you’re alone on this. A few drinks makes me even more in the mood than having none. I enjoy sex far more when I’ve had a few that’s for sure!

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I find alcohol interferes with my ecstatic meditation; coffee is better for that as it stimulates and stops me dozing off. :fire:

I spent a couple of weeks on a near-permanent buzz recently. I’m recovering from a broken ankle, and the pain meds I was prescribed made me feel sick. So I turned to alcohol. I’m not usually a drinker, but I found that alcohol neither increased nor decreased my libido. It did, however, reduce my inhibitions about where and how I have sex. Not sure if that’s good or bad. As I don’t make a habit of drinking a lot, I doubt the experience will be repeated.