First time poster here!! Must admit i've been lurking for a while
Im under alot of stress at the moment (my nan has cancer) and im finding everything really difficult. I want to be close to my partner so much and im often really horny. The problem is i just dont seem to be able to get aroused, i dry out and half way through would rather stop and watch some tv lol.
We use lube but i find it near impossible to get into it even though mentally i really want it!!!! Its like my body shuts off. I try to destress but as you can imagine its not easy because of the situation and although my partner doesnt mind i feel bad.
Hiya lurker babe, now you have dropped your Romulan cloaking device, l hope you are not running with anything like the notion that you are either a bad person or don't deserve to enjoy anything good happening to you!!! I know some who have, a little more info would be helpful, how old is your gran for example!! how long have you been together, employment status stuff like that....
Well this may sound so simple. . .not sure if you have kids and stuff and if this is possible but take a nice hot bath together and spend some time in there soaping each other up and rinsing your bodies down taking time to just kiss and cuddle, looking at each others bodies, touching each other but nothing too heavy at this point. Then move onto the bedroom, few scented candles on the go and some nice massage oil/baby oil and give each other a lovely sensuous massage, taking time to explore every pore of each others skin. Then take it from there girl!
Just a simple idea, but nice. Hope things go well and I'm sure you will get some great advice from the folks on here.
i know it is easier said than done but you stressing over not being able to get aroused, then not getting aroused, turns inot a vicous circle.
have you visited the doctor maybe? stress is an awful thing to deal with and your situation is tough but it may be better to check out wether theres anything wrong medically too,
another idea is have intimate moments with your partner, i.e kiss and cuddle withought leading to sex for a while. (it dosent have to be ages)
Well this may sound so simple. . .not sure if you have kids and stuff and if this is possible but take a nice hot bath together and spend some time in there soaping each other up and rinsing your bodies down taking time to just kiss and cuddle, looking at each others bodies, touching each other but nothing too heavy at this point. Then move onto the bedroom, few scented candles on the go and some nice massage oil/baby oil and give each other a lovely sensuous massage, taking time to explore every pore of each others skin. Then take it from there girl!
Just a simple idea, but nice. Hope things go well and I'm sure you will get some great advice from the folks on here.
SG69 x
I would agree with this!! I was feeling the same as you a few months ago. You shouldn't feel bad about anything. Try and relax more and take things slowly. Don't rush anything as things will get better for you in time.
My nan is in her 70's and has bone cancer. Her drugs have stopped working so now they are trying this really expensive one (£4000) per month as it can give another year or two added to her life. She is the first in the hospital to have been given it as they think it will work for her. We have to wait a few weeks to see if its working, if it does she will stay on it and it will improve her life if it doesnt work we are at the end of the road which i cannot bare to face.
At the moment all i want is to be close to my other half but it seems to be the one thing i cant do, we are always kissing and cuddling but as soon as it goes to anything more i just cant get my mind in the right place. We have been together for years now and were friends before hand. I cant clear my mind at the moment to relax and all i can think of is losing my nan and her not seeing us get married and have children (its something which has been important to me and my nan since i was young, we are very close).
I feel so tense all the time as im horny but not getting any because of myself which seems so stupid! I know there is nothing wrong medically as before the stress this was not a problem at all.
The more i seem to concetrate on relaxing thought the harder it is!
thats always the way though!
just remember whts happening to you is completley normal, and as you have said your partner dosent mind remember he loves you too. (he sounds like a brilliant bloke)
Hi and welcome. I'm so sorry that life is really tough right now and it's totally normal for it to affect your sex drive.
Firstly as someone who has benefitted loads from counselling, it's well worth looking into this seriously. The doctor can give you a list of practices and prices.
Secondly as to your sex drive, this is harder because you'll be knocked by what's going on. Take it easy (as I'm sure you have). Don't pressurise yourself into having sex. Cuddling will work just as well to help you feel close to your partner. Let him help support you as he can. And I suppose just remember that things will change and improve eventually.