Inspired by the embarrassing moments thread, what's your silliest sex injury?
I'm pretty accident prone anyway but here are the top two that spring to mind:
On the night I lost my virginity, the guy got cum in my eye. That night was memorable for a number of reasons...
I once got a carpet burn on my forehead from sex.
Omg I once got cum in eye too - it stung like a bitch and I just had to wait for my eye to go less red. Thank god I didn't have to see any of my boyfriend's family for a few hours.... I'm sure the sperm are attacking your eye >:/ and it wouldn't have happened but for the fact he took a bloody age to get some tissue to clean it up.
I also gained a love-bite on that particular day. Not ideal when you're at his house with the family. Cue the decision to have all my hair forward and weirdly looking a bit like a hair neck beard...
Rug burns on knees and bruises on thighs... from a bench I was umm up against. The bruises were pretty embarassing at the annual exam.at the gyno the following week.
Once while having sex I somehow managed to hit myself in the mouth and cut my lip !
Fortunately it wasn't serious enough stitches but we laughed so much that we had to abandon any ideas of carrying on with that sex session ! There's nothing that ruins a moment more than a smack in mouth and the taste of blood even if it was my own stupid fault !
Not me thankfully, but know someone who dislocated their hip during a particularly acrobatic and enthusiastic session.
Once stuck a suction cup butt plug to my partners head for comedy value.............. problem was it left a bruise !
I broke my wrist falling off the bed during a particularly steamy session ! Really struggled to get my long sleeved latex top off over it before going to hospital, hurt like hell. It was a number of years ago though - I'm not so wild now ;)
After a night out with my then boyfriend we decided it was a great idea to have a 69 on the dining room table.
All was going well until the table collapsed and we ended up in a heap on the floor. I got a massive lump on my head and a big headache! I didn't go to a&e although I probably should have!
Coped my own cum in my eye once, boy does that sting and it takes a while to stop. Ladies I can understand your reservations about facials.
Oh!!! this one hurts thinking about it, I fancied a quick one with o.h. bending over the bed, she is a bit shorter than me so enter stilettos. Before she put them on she was teasing me with the spiked heal prodding under under my balls and butt all of a sudden a it felt like I had been kicked in the balls and my scrotum had been slashed with a knife, o.h fuck what pain I held my balls but dare not look. What had happened was my wife's glasses had fallen off and she had made a grab for them forgetting she had a sharp object of mass destruction in my never regions.
After the initial shock and rolling around the bed room trying to see if any of my testicles had been removed I slowly removed my hands and it my surprise I only had a small scratch and a bit of bruising.
Needless to say the moment had gone, after a couple of days the aches had gone and oh have we laugh about it now,thank god I didn't have to go to a and e and explain that one!!
I did my back in & had to spend 2 days on the couch/bed as a I could hardly move...never again will I attempt to be flexible first thing in the morning!
I've also hit my head off walls quite hard & almost knocked myself out so we'd have to leave it 10 minutes so I could stop being dizzy
A couple of years ago i was seeing a woman who for reasons i wont go into i could only see on the quiet. Fast forward to a rainy night in the rear car park of CarpetRight in a town just outside London.
Now the back of my Ford Escort wasnt exactly large so it was a case of me having to sit on the back seat with her astride me so to speak and in the throws of passion she hit her head so hard on the roof it knocked her out cold. She came round a few minutes later and the moment was gone hahaha
I thought i'd killed her. Imagine having to explain that when the emergency services turned up to find a half naked man and a dead naked woman in the place where i'd parked up lmao
Me and my fiance were having sex and I wasn't particularly wet and not enjoying it very much. My vagina muscles spasmed and tightnened suddenly, causing his "banjo string" to snap. He wouldn't have sex with me for 2 months.
thedevils-little-helper wrote:
Me and my fiance were having sex and I wasn't particularly wet and not enjoying it very much. My vagina muscles spasmed and tightnened suddenly, causing his "banjo string" to snap. He wouldn't have sex with me for 2 months.
Ouch and fuck!!!
One night not long after we were married my oh was giving me a fantastic blow job untill she bit the skin between the shaft and helmet ( is that the banjo string ? ) blood went all over the bed it is the quickest I have lost an erection. trip to the doctors was called for then a trip to hospital the op removed the skin that was cut but left the forskin so i still had my overcoat LOL we had to wait until the stiches were out
D.j wrote:
One night not long after we were married my oh was giving me a fantastic blow job untill she bit the skin between the shaft and helmet ( is that the banjo string ? ) blood went all over the bed it is the quickest I have lost an erection. trip to the doctors was called for then a trip to hospital the op removed the skin that was cut but left the forskin so i still had my overcoat LOL we had to wait until the stiches were out
The wrost thing I've done is before a night out for a friends birthday. Whilst getting ready to go out me and the other half decided we had time to have some fun. So doing a 69 postion I begin to orgasm and at the same time bite down on my oh penis making it bleed. He spent the rest of the night out clubbing in a fair bit of pain I could guess.
Carpet burn on my bum/back/knees is a regular thing!
Not sure if this is more funny than cringy. A recent sexy time session where we were 69ing and he moved us to our sides, was interrupted when he suddenly said 'oh I think you are bleeding!?!' I was all 'what??'. Turned out he was a bit more vigorous than usual which his fingers and cut me internally somehow so of course we stopped. I freaked out as it had never happened before and I didn't feel anything, so I went to check all was where it should be and came back to bed. Of course no more sexy time now because it went on for a while:( and I'm still not sure what he did. When I came back he then went on to tell me that dont worry he has broken his penis mid session once and that these things happen. :-0
My reply - " ok you win, that's worse". We laughed about it and I calmed down a bit. Apparently that 'banjo string' tore clean off but he also still has an overcoat ;-).
My ex managed to tear his banjo string inside me, leaving blood etc. he nearly passed out. he never entered before I was ready again that's for sure.
i was accidentally kicked under the chin when I climbed onto the bed seductively and he thought id tickled his feet and kicked knocking me back I hit the wall and bust my lip.
Fortunately nothing major but I did get a dead leg after having great sex on a boat, and I almost fell in the river tring to get off the boat afterwards with a dead leg!