After yesterday when I crashed from nerves because of university and my dissertation topic (burial practices with possible human sacrifice) I am single I think. My partner decided to set me free to find someone else after I move to study in another country and he returns to US. He told me he does not see any way it would work. As he sent me mail we did not talk about it, yet, but I am scared and heart broken right now. I love him and would be willing to travel, but... I guess I should start to getting used to being single again. May try to talk to him later, but not sure he will...
Wondering how I am going to focus on dissertation today or in next few days as I am broken inside. So if I disappear from the forum, I need to be alone and heal after this.
Any advice how to deal with the news would be welcomed.
My only advice is likely to be something that you've heard countless times before... stay strong. Things get better with every passing day.
In a way its helpful to see your dissertation as a positive thing, even though it is really, really stressful. You have something else to focus on, something thats just for your benefit, something to distract your mind.
My relationship started to come to an end when I was writing my dissertation, doing my exams for uni, and starting a new job. I remember feeling overwhelmed, but now I am grateful that my life was so hectic. Keep busy and remember that you deserve to be happy, whether on your own or with someone else.
He wants me out of his life to give me chance to find someone. So I guess that means no communication. And considering that I dont plan to stay in Prague or in the Czech Republic, it would be very foolish to find someone anyway. As I will be leaving in about 3 years. Not to mention not sure who would have girl with part time job, teaching at university, working in university library, working on my thesis and preparing for state exams in 2 languages and several other subjects and in her free time at weekends teaching potential future archaeologists in local museum.
As for night out... considering everyone from my year is busy with dissertation, I dont think thats possible. And my best friend is flying home for 2 weeks tomorrow evening. And another moved to Kenya as volunteer month ago. So 1left and she is working 11hours a day and crashing afterwards. So I guess I am bit alone.
Gem, the dissertation is stressful, partly also because I am spending all days counting dead people and infant skeletons in instalments with equids. And people bodies being cooked... Yep. Very cheerful topic after breaking up with my partner.
What a silly thing to do to send that mail now, all he had to do was wait until you handed in your dissertation!
I'm sorry I missed you on chat - I'd switched my PC off - don't know why it still said I was logged in :(
As for advice - how important is it that you focus on your dissertation right now? Do you have the time to take a few hours for yourself? Light some candles, breathe deeply and relax.
You're not going to be in the right frame of mind to work on it so if you can afford the time - focus on yourself for a little while and don't feel guilty about it.
I think you need to sit down and talk to him. It's not fair for him to make the decision that long distance won't work for you as a couple. Fair enough if he feels it can't work for him, but he should discuss it with you and explain his reasons rather than just saying "no, our relationship won't work" it's not just his relationship - it's yours too.
But I would say, wait until you've handed in your dissertation first because it may not be an enjoyable discussion and will take time. Long distance is possible - it can be worth it, it's certainly not the same distance but I did have a long distance relationship for 3 years and got through it - there are some ways to make it easier.
Yep. Being told this over an email and being told its the end of communication just ruined my day. Thats not fair at all towards me. I could handle skype,as I would have a bit of say, instead of just receiving an email its over.
I have 1 month still until the deadline so not sure we should postpone the talk that long... That does sound a bit too long. And I am definitely not looking forward the discussion if there will be any.
Lavelia how insensitive of him. You need to clear your head and concentrate on...you! Your dissertation comes first. I'm sure you could easily find someone as you sound like a lovely girl! :) Don't waste your precious time Lavelia. SG x
oh thanks. And no, I dont find partners easily. I was told most guys are scared of me - thats what friends tell me. Also I dont do clubbing etc, and I dont tend to use make up. Generally I dont look really anything too special to catch attention. And then its hard to find a guy I would feel comfortable with. And for some reason I prefer bit older guys, dont ask me why. To be honest I may have few years alone ahead of me. I tend to find partner once in few years. But I am used to being single by now. And just do my studies and work.
Not much I can say, I'm sorry that this arse has treated you like this, it's so unfair. I hate to say it but perhaps you're better of without him if he couldn't support you for the next few weeks as you write your dissertation.
Easier said than done I know but try not to let it get in the way of your aims. By the sounds of it you're achieving amazing things and one day soon you'll reach your goals.
Take a little time for yourself and relax, think about all you've achieved so far and what you have ahead of you.
Obviously it's far too soon and you aren't ready for a long term relationship but don't dismiss a possible friendship/romance in the future just because you're going to be leaving in 3 years. Don't shut yourself away, try to have some fun. When you've finished your dissertation try and get out and celebrate it's a thing worth celebrating.
I have been through a break up myself this year and understand how you are feeling. I know it might not feel like it just now but you will get through it. It might just take some time. The best thing to do just now is look after yourself, think of you. Not much else I can say that the others havn't. Take care of yourself. xx
I was hoping he might consider coming round after you had a chance to speak, Laveila. A couple of men have done that sort of thing to me, each of them got some complicated idea in their head and decided that the only solution was to break up. Even though that would have been worse for me at the time.
Crossing fingers that it works out well for you, whichever way it goes.
So far things seems to be going well. I think we are bit back in the "courting" phase. But I think the damage is healed. Somehow. I think because we care deeply for each other. I cannot stop smiling and wonder if thats the reason why the librarian was trying to flirt with me yesterday
So far things seems to be going well. I think we are bit back in the "courting" phase. But I think the damage is healed. Somehow. I think because we care deeply for each other. I cannot stop smiling and wonder if thats the reason why the librarian was trying to flirt with me yesterday
This made me smile too, Laveila. I'm very glad you're happy. :-)
Maybe the return to the courting phase is a way of adjusting to other changes in your life, like being so close to finishing your dissertation. Here's hoping your relationship will be stronger for this.
This made me smile too, Laveila. I'm very glad you're happy. :-)
Maybe the return to the courting phase is a way of adjusting to other changes in your life, like being so close to finishing your dissertation. Here's hoping your relationship will be stronger for this.
This made me smile too, Laveila. I'm very glad you're happy. :-)
Maybe the return to the courting phase is a way of adjusting to other changes in your life, like being so close to finishing your dissertation. Here's hoping your relationship will be stronger for this.
This happened to me when I was trying to finish my dissertation, I couldn't work for more than a few hours without getting side tracked.
My mates helped me get through it, I always had something to do or someone to go see. I also managed to get pretty good in one of the sports that I did as my coach is one of my closest friends, she made me think about other things. YMMV.
BTW I got a first in my dissertation, graduated with a 2:2 and now have a brilliant job that I love 5 years later.
