I dont want to scare the people who asked me if I am ok by sudden disappearace. I need a solitute right now, especially after what happened in my life last week and I am not going to be round on the forum for unknown period of time, as I need time to get myself up. Even struggling with my dissertation at the moment and I need to get myself focused right now.
I will be back when I can feel like I can, as I think my current mood would influence the way I react on the forum and thats not something I want to do.
Good luck, I really hope you get it all sorted. I don't mean to be rude or pry but what happened last week? I must'nt have been around the forums? *confused* sorry.
Feeling a bit better, so a bit of explanation. I had PhD entry interview and I was sugested for acceptance based on knowledge and research proposal. My parents never said even congratulations but from the beggining started to talk about how I am planning to pay for it (I would get some money from uni to start with and there are no tuiton fees involved). A friend told me museum I worked for in the past is likely to look for 1-2 more archaeologists as they will have major projects in comming years. When I suggested it at home I was told no way, cursed to bein childish, naive, stupid, that I dont know the value of money etc. I did some rough calculations and the money from uni would actually cover accommodation and food (of course no restaurants, but home made). So the money from museum would cover travel and then the rest I would save for other expenses. I rarely felt really supported in my family, for many reasons, beginning by the fact as first born to my grandparents I was born a girl, which was major disappointment to them. And I think my momther passed on me the need to be the best, to never fail, as she was similarly hasrly judged, never good enough, because she was a mere girl. I managed to overcome most of it, but right now I am loosing it a bit, as I am tired of continuous fight for my way of life. And this was a bit of heavy blow. I am ready to decline the position, but still feeling down. And it is starting to show between me and my partner. Plus I am loosing hair thanks to stress.
Sorry to hear about that. I hope that you're able to reach some sort of compromise that works all round, although it sounds from your description as if that will still be difficult.
Laveila without knowing the full history of your family its reall hard to help in that direction if im honest, by the things i read your family are not happy that your a girl and that you are away from home and persuing a job you may or may not enjoy? (maybe i misread if i did sorry). As for OH i dont know if he's with you or back home (home country) but i can understand why its all stressing you out, you want to do one thing (work) and then you have family saying no dont do that, its stupid etc etc so your thoughts are all other the place ruining everything including your health!
Personally if it was me i would sit down with my family and say "this is what i want to do, if you dont like it then thats your problem I ENJOY it". There is no need to be in a job in which you hate its upto you to make your decissions, achievements and even mistakes. If you think archaeologist is what you want to be the persue it becuase thats your dream and only you know why you like it not ur family. If this upsets your family then it upsets them, as for OH like i said canna comment there because dont know if he in uk or your home contry x - yeh spelling sucks
Hello lovely, I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. Congratulations on being offered the place :).
If you can support yourself (through the help of the university) why does your parents' opinion matter? Can't you accept the position, fund yourself and prove your parents wrong?
You're so passionate about doing a PhD - I'd hate for you to regret losing the opportunity!
Laveila this is probably going to sound harsh, I dont mean it to be. I grew up feeling like a disapointment for not being a boy and have learnt some harsh lessons in life. Loosing a son and a husband has taught me that life is too damn short for regrets and what ifs. When an oppertunity like this comes along you need to grab it and do what is right for you. Your family may not like it but that is for them to deal with. Spread your wings have faith in yourself and fly
I was 38 before my Dad told anyone he was proud of me, not for my achievements, being the first member of the family to get into uni and graduate, having kids etc What finally did it was watching me handle the hospital visits and making decisions about what was best for my husband
whatever you decide to do, you know that there is a support network here for you