Just a quick one I do a bit of massaging the misses, as I like touching her. Usually ends with a nice butt massage and a bit of external play of the anus. Seems to work for both of us and she finds it very relaxing, sometimes a bit to relating and not exciting like clit play would be. Often she almost falls asleep from it being so relaxing which kinda stops the play session.
I’m happy she finds in relaxing and I’m happy to do it so it is all good. But wondering if there is something I could do different to help build arousal and keep her in the game so to speak.
Is this an experience that others have with slow external play?
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Maybe every so often during the massage slap her butt to keep her awake lol
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Some random thoughts off the top of my head:
- Only do it when she is wide awake and not before bed or something;
- Don’t give her an orgasm beforehand;
- Try have her in a slightly less comfortable position, such as all fours, across your lap, hard surface;
- Play music;
- Vary your technique;
- Use a remote control toy so you can switch it on and off at various points;
- Using an orgasm balm or gel on her clit as most have a tingling sensation;
- Add some kisses in on the butt, back, thighs, wherever she likes;
- Add in some temperature play (ice or warmth);
- Watch porn, get her to read erotica, or talk dirty while you are doing it;
- Nipple clamps or suckers or clit clamps (if she is in to those). Jiggle ball style kegel balls may also give her some stimulation but you need to rock her butt so they actually move;
- Alternate between focusing on her butt and elsewhere.
Otherwise talk to her and see if she can identify exactly what is making her sleepy.
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Wow that’s a lot of good ideas for just off the top of your head. Your brain seems to be a very busy knowledge filled place. Thanks
I’m the same, I love touching my OH but most of the time it leads nowhere or like yourself, she ends up nodding off
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Personally for me it depends how tired I am, and back when I had a stressful job that was a lot. I love massage and slow sensual foreplay. But life can be seriously hectic and sometimes we get zero time to relax, if the only time I have to relax when I’m exhausted is when someone is massaging me the chances are it will make me sleepy, because the need to rest just overrides everything else.
Now I’m less stressed and tired in day to day life and I have a chance to set aside decent time a sensual massage very rarely makes me tired and ends up as good sexy session.
So I guess as much as you can try to make sure she is well rested and not tired when you start things?
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Massaging is so relaxing for the giver and receiver Usually we are both sleeping by the end.
But(t) it’s still very intimate and ultimately rewarding
You are prob not far off the money, she does not sleep the best and is high stress, half the reason why we play a lot. Great for getting some sleep and de-stressing.
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I have this problem when my husband does it to me. We have an agreement that he will let me relax and then he starts to play with me. It takes a while, but it wakes me up enough to enjoy him and then I usually have a really good sleep after so everybody wins.
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Similar to what was said by @Laws20 i massage my wife a lot, mainly from a selfish point as it ends up in play…
But when I give her a massage il also get naked, and sit just behind her ass. That way I can massage her back and shoulders and as I get aroused by the beautiful woman underneath me she can feel it, which keeps her slightly awake ha! Then when the “massage” is over il massage her but and thighs, and move a hand up her thigh, or start rimming her.
Hey presto one delightful massage and one horny already lubed up partner!
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