Is a squirting orgasm better than a normal orgasm? My Mrs seems to enjoy both but squirts quite a lot. Just asking out of curiosity really!!
I'm adding my own question: Do you think a squirting orgasm qeuals a male's orgasm?
Hmmm... I'm going to say no, my other half looks like her eyes are going to explode when she squirts, I don't quite get that when I cum. It's LUSH when I do cum but it doesn't seem to last as long as when I've made women cum. What do you think?
Sadly i'm stuck on thinking men enjoy sex more than women because they are the one who always want it and they are so easy so turn on and can come really quickly. Also, if I imagine my clitoris being the size of a penis, the fealing must be sooo good. So yeah I think maybe they are the same and any other orgasm a woman has is less pleasuring that any orgasm a guy has. (I also think it's the same but with sex in general). But I know a lot a people would not agree with me
I am one of those people that disagree with you mamz, sorry! I belive women have the potential to have so much more mind-blowing orgasms than guys. We have more variety of ways, our bodies are capable of multiple ones, I generally think a woman orgasming seems a lot more "whole body experience" and a lot sexier to watch too! I also think just because a guy can "come really quickly" that's not actually such a great thing all the time. For personal pleasure, sure. But sensual build-up, intimacy, and then the final release all combined means I think the most satisfying orgasms are often the ones you put most time into and most relaxtion and enjoyment!
Also, in my relationship, I am the "nympho" who ADORES sex, always wants it, talks about it, and my male partner is actually the chilled out take it or leave it one. So it isn't true that men enjoy sex more than women(he enjoys it the same, just has less of a drive for it). "Men enjoying it more" just tends to occur if the man is selfish and takes his enjoyment without catering to hers.
Don't be sorry for desagreeing, The more people disagree with me, the more likely it is I am wrong, which would be great (because I don't want to be right on that)
mamz wrote:
Don't be sorry for desagreeing, The more people disagree with me, the more likely it is I am wrong, which would be great (because I don't want to be right on that)
aw that's such a nice reply! To understand your point of view, why do you belive your side? Is it through personal experience, or what you've been taught, or is it just your basic belief? I'm really interested :)
I may give you more details in the upcoming answer than what you are asking for, so to make it short I would say the three options you listed are the answer.
The longer answer:
If you take a look at some other threads, you will see that my experience as led me to this. My first sexual encunter and all the following up for two years have been forced so I got into thinking sex wasn't for me as I am a woman and that my job was to shut up and give my man what he wants. I am now with the same man for three years and the first one I was still thinking like that and seeing no probleme in the fact that I did not enjoy sex. After that I finaly realised that I had been victim of abuse and I decided to take controle of my sexuality. It's been two years since, and a very long run, but I am still not completely ok.
My biggest problem remaining after this is that I want to feel satisfied and that I can't if I don't orgasm because I feel like i've been used and that sex is just for men. This makes my and my partner far too stressed about performance and not enjoying it anymore so it's even harder to feel satisfied for both of us. When I look at all the women around me and see that they are not satisfied or that they don't like penetrative sex that much it makes me angry because I'm always asking myself why this HAS to be the main part of a sexual encounter. My bf tells me it hasn't and that we will only do things that we both want and enjoy. It doesn't work for me because I still feel like there is something missing. I really want to enjoy penetrative sex but I can't because each time I feel like he is having more pleasure in it than I am. Not that I don't want him to feel pleasure, but when he does and I don't (in something that is not jsupposed to be one way giving) I end up feeling used for sex again.
Because of that I don't really think that sex is for women because it's made for men to enjoy. That plus the fact that my orgasms are sometimes hard to achieve and not that great, and that it takes a lot to turn me on.
I just can't help to think like that (I am going to see a therapist next week because it's starting to have a negative effect on our relationship and on my mood, I can't stop thinking about that).
ahh so you're in an unfortunate catch-22 because you want to have the full fulfilling package, but then if you do have sex and don't orgasm, your past experiences make you feel used, so then it's back to let's not do penetration, but then you feel unsatisfied and want the full experience and it cycles round creating pressure.
I'm sorry you've ended up in this situation, which probably stems from your first encounters. It's great that you have made the decision to take control, 100% respect and admiration for you. :)
It's harder to change a mindset/way of thinking than any physical problem, overcoming something in your head takes time and dedication and persistence. I guess the determination to be in control might make you feel worse because that's precisely what you feel you don;t have, even when you are actively trying to get the control. I know it's hard to do, especially when your frustrated, but definitely try to work on not fixating so much on orgasm. It does not have to be about the final destination of orgasm, heck I don't always reach that destination, but as long as you enjoy the journey, and work into your mindset that sex IS enjoyable and IS pleasurable for both partners regardless of orgasm status. Work on your intimacy as a couple during those moments, for me personally, if he is in that moment focussed on me, kissing me like he needs me, making me feel like a beautiful person, NOT an object for which he needs to "take" his pleasure, then that serves as a heck of a reassurance to any niggling doubts/insecurities, because you can feel instinctively that he is enjoying it, you are enjoying it, you are enjoying each other, and you are equals, with no pressure on either party and you actively feel deserving of the pleasure you are receiving.
Try not to be so hard on yourself please. You sound like such a kind, awesome person, and I know it's hard to change a mindset so ingrained in your head. The really annoying thing is, is that if you can find some way of letting the frustration dissipate away, that might be the key to allowing yourself to have a more healthy/positive outlook on all this and unlocking the ability to relax and enjoy the ride.
Best of luck with the therapist, seriously, I really hope you progress and things start looking up for you! x
BTW sorry CJ for hijacking the thread a bit!
popk1n wrote:
ahh so you're in an unfortunate catch-22 because you want to have the full fulfilling package, but then if you do have sex and don't orgasm, your past experiences make you feel used, so then it's back to let's not do penetration, but then you feel unsatisfied and want the full experience and it cycles round creating pressure.
[...]
I guess the determination to be in control might make you feel worse because that's precisely what you feel you don;t have, even when you are actively trying to get the control.
[...] and you are equals [...]
Woaw I feel like you really got my probleme even with the so little explainations I gave about it.
And about what you said after that, I know that my partner does not use me, I just feel used sometimes. He can't even enjoy sex if I don't find it pleasurable, sometimes I find he is thinking too much about me.
We tried once to do as you suggest, it was really great but ended up with him cumming while I was close (because He was sure I was having an orgasm and wanted to make things even better by having us have simultaneous orgasms). This ended up in frustration for both end led me to want an orgasm every time. Also, I don't feel like it's right to tell women that they don't have to have an orgasm everytime they have sex and that it's normal if they don't, I find it sexist. So that's a problem too because i'm too concerned about not having orgasms and I feel that if I accept not having one every time i'm lowering my standard like I previously did uncounscously for a long time.
Now sex is really stressful for both of us and we barely want to initiate it because we are afraid one or both of us is gonna end up being sad.
I really hope seeing a therapist is gonna help. I previously did for the same problem and it did not help as much as I would have liked (it only helped me understand that my bf is a good person who doesn't want to hurt nor use me)
Thanks for your undertanding of it and your advices.
And yea sorry CJ haha
Hi and yes squirting orgasms do feel better than a regular non squirting orgasms
because obviously the release of fluid, this means the Gspot has got so big from being stroked and massaged for so long. I tend to have my orgasms then I squirt. The squirting is still an orgasm.
I'm still discovering my squirting and orgasms. Yesterday I had about 5 orgasms and then I let myself squirt. By let myself I mean
my Gspot felt so big and my vagina was so tight from contracting from the 5 orgasms, I couldn't fit my toy inside me. So I just put the vibrations on my clit. Then I released and soaked everything.
Hehe :). It is really special. I do believe every woman can achieve squirting. I use a massager wand and an attachment to get me there. I only bought it few days ago and i consider to be in a relationship with the toy now I love it so much lol.
How do you define a 'normal' orgasm? I think it depends on the woman, I prefer clitoral orgasms over everything else and even though squirting feels great, it's not my strongest way of orgasm :)
Does your Gspot get bigger with this toy? I know that sounds weird but I have looked it up and the Gspot does 'grow' when stimulated, I can feel it and my ex said he could feel my Gspot when I was riding him!
i feel as though I know I'm gonna squirt because my Gspot has gotten so big. Does your vibe vibrate enough? I compared the vibrations from my rabbit (battery powered) to my wand which plugs into the mains and the wand is just out of this world. Maybe try a wand?
I was watching porn and I saw a woman using a wand and she squirted hard so I thought I'll try it.
I squirted for the first time about a month ago and at first i was really shocked, (because it had never happened before - I'm only 38 lol), but I really enjoyed it, I honestly thought i had experienced most things, but wow 
Kazamarie wrote:
All you ladies are so lucky. Well I won't give up trying x
In the same boat as you, still waiting.........
mamz wrote:
popk1n wrote:
ahh so you're in an unfortunate catch-22 because you want to have the full fulfilling package, but then if you do have sex and don't orgasm, your past experiences make you feel used, so then it's back to let's not do penetration, but then you feel unsatisfied and want the full experience and it cycles round creating pressure.
[...]
I guess the determination to be in control might make you feel worse because that's precisely what you feel you don;t have, even when you are actively trying to get the control.
[...] and you are equals [...]
Woaw I feel like you really got my probleme even with the so little explainations I gave about it.
And about what you said after that, I know that my partner does not use me, I just feel used sometimes. He can't even enjoy sex if I don't find it pleasurable, sometimes I find he is thinking too much about me.
We tried once to do as you suggest, it was really great but ended up with him cumming while I was close (because He was sure I was having an orgasm and wanted to make things even better by having us have simultaneous orgasms). This ended up in frustration for both end led me to want an orgasm every time. Also, I don't feel like it's right to tell women that they don't have to have an orgasm everytime they have sex and that it's normal if they don't, I find it sexist. So that's a problem too because i'm too concerned about not having orgasms and I feel that if I accept not having one every time i'm lowering my standard like I previously did uncounscously for a long time.
Now sex is really stressful for both of us and we barely want to initiate it because we are afraid one or both of us is gonna end up being sad.
I really hope seeing a therapist is gonna help. I previously did for the same problem and it did not help as much as I would have liked (it only helped me understand that my bf is a good person who doesn't want to hurt nor use me)
Thanks for your undertanding of it and your advices.
And yea sorry CJ haha
I wasn't saying your partner does use you, don't worry! He sounds like a lovely and caring guy :)
If you tried once and it was great, it sounds like it would have ended great if he hadn't of tried to go the extra mile of simulataneous orgasms. So why not try it again? As long as you don't try to tackle everything at once, like leave perfecting the simultaneous for a later date, there's no reason you can't get close again, but this time he lasts that little bit longer and you manage it! :D don't be afraid of a second try!
And I only say it's ok for a woman to not orgasm everytime because fact is, you won't orgasm every time. I average 2-3 orgasms every session with my partner, but on occasion I don't orgasm. That's not my partner's fault, some days my lady bits just feel unco-operative. And that's ok! I still enjoy non-orgasm sex too. If you're partner tries their absolute best to succeed in your pleasure, then a lack of orgasm doesn't have to mean you're lowering your standards. Effort should be appreciated as much, if not more, as the end result.
on a side note, Biologically, men are designed to orgasm to fertilise the egg, so it makes sense that they often find it easier. If they couldn't orgasm, our species would die. But women don't have to orgasm to reproduce, so biologically for us orgasms are a bonus, not a necessity in the same way men's orgasms are... not to say that men's orgasms are more important than ours ;) but in evolutionary terms, that's why things are how they are. Also, it isn't that sexist to say "don't worry if you don't orgasm every time" if a man doesn't think he's going to come on that day, thats cool as well, not just with woman. For me personally, yes when my guy comes, that tends to be the end of sex, but not because he's more important, just because I find it to be a good marker for the end. Like, at what point do you just go "ok, let's just stop now" lol, that makes it sound like you're bored. And the end means cuddles yay.
Fingers crossed the therapy helps. Persistence is key. Maybe your boyfriend could try to be a form of therapsit too? A constant tackle against the mindset might break it down quicker. If too long lies between therapist visits, does that give too much time to fall backwards again? Though I don't claim to be an expert of course! Best of luck, mamz :) sorry for long reply
popk1n wrote:
mamz wrote:
popk1n wrote:
ahh so you're in an unfortunate catch-22 because you want to have the full fulfilling package, but then if you do have sex and don't orgasm, your past experiences make you feel used, so then it's back to let's not do penetration, but then you feel unsatisfied and want the full experience and it cycles round creating pressure.
[...]
I guess the determination to be in control might make you feel worse because that's precisely what you feel you don;t have, even when you are actively trying to get the control.
[...] and you are equals [...]
Woaw I feel like you really got my probleme even with the so little explainations I gave about it.
And about what you said after that, I know that my partner does not use me, I just feel used sometimes. He can't even enjoy sex if I don't find it pleasurable, sometimes I find he is thinking too much about me.
We tried once to do as you suggest, it was really great but ended up with him cumming while I was close (because He was sure I was having an orgasm and wanted to make things even better by having us have simultaneous orgasms). This ended up in frustration for both end led me to want an orgasm every time. Also, I don't feel like it's right to tell women that they don't have to have an orgasm everytime they have sex and that it's normal if they don't, I find it sexist. So that's a problem too because i'm too concerned about not having orgasms and I feel that if I accept not having one every time i'm lowering my standard like I previously did uncounscously for a long time.
Now sex is really stressful for both of us and we barely want to initiate it because we are afraid one or both of us is gonna end up being sad.
I really hope seeing a therapist is gonna help. I previously did for the same problem and it did not help as much as I would have liked (it only helped me understand that my bf is a good person who doesn't want to hurt nor use me)
Thanks for your undertanding of it and your advices.
And yea sorry CJ haha
I wasn't saying your partner does use you, don't worry! He sounds like a lovely and caring guy :)
If you tried once and it was great, it sounds like it would have ended great if he hadn't of tried to go the extra mile of simulataneous orgasms. So why not try it again? As long as you don't try to tackle everything at once, like leave perfecting the simultaneous for a later date, there's no reason you can't get close again, but this time he lasts that little bit longer and you manage it! :D don't be afraid of a second try!
And I only say it's ok for a woman to not orgasm everytime because fact is, you won't orgasm every time. I average 2-3 orgasms every session with my partner, but on occasion I don't orgasm. That's not my partner's fault, some days my lady bits just feel unco-operative. And that's ok! I still enjoy non-orgasm sex too. If you're partner tries their absolute best to succeed in your pleasure, then a lack of orgasm doesn't have to mean you're lowering your standards. Effort should be appreciated as much, if not more, as the end result.
on a side note, Biologically, men are designed to orgasm to fertilise the egg, so it makes sense that they often find it easier. If they couldn't orgasm, our species would die. But women don't have to orgasm to reproduce, so biologically for us orgasms are a bonus, not a necessity in the same way men's orgasms are... not to say that men's orgasms are more important than ours ;) but in evolutionary terms, that's why things are how they are. Also, it isn't that sexist to say "don't worry if you don't orgasm every time" if a man doesn't think he's going to come on that day, thats cool as well, not just with woman. For me personally, yes when my guy comes, that tends to be the end of sex, but not because he's more important, just because I find it to be a good marker for the end. Like, at what point do you just go "ok, let's just stop now" lol, that makes it sound like you're bored. And the end means cuddles yay.
Fingers crossed the therapy helps. Persistence is key. Maybe your boyfriend could try to be a form of therapsit too? A constant tackle against the mindset might break it down quicker. If too long lies between therapist visits, does that give too much time to fall backwards again? Though I don't claim to be an expert of course! Best of luck, mamz :) sorry for long reply
You're an awesome person!
Thanks for all those advices, I really like the way you think and it help me to see things from a different perspective my bf can no longer offer because I have dragged him down with me.
I agree for most part, except I don't like the part about biology because I agree with it and that's a part of what makes me think sex is for men. We are not made to have fun having sex, while men are. I don't see why we would have an equal orgasm potential if it's this way. That is something that often brings me down again when I feel I am getting better (because it almost never lasts).
It is ok not to orgasm every time if you usually do 2-3 almost every other times, but if you're used to comming once like half of the time that's not acceptable in my opinion. And of course guys don,t care when they can't come, because it is so uncommun for them, but I am pretty sure if it happened more often they would get frustrated too, and because they are thaught that they diserve everything they want in bed because they are male. Of course I am generalizing but I was once with a guy that would be really mad at me when I asked him to stop having sex because it was painful, and i'm sure I know plenty of guys who would react the same.
And for the "when to stop" thing, I can say that with my partner it is very natural. When we have sex it sometimes ends in a very natural way without him cumming (of course not the opposit because I wouldn't be in a good mood,. I have to say that most of the time he only wants to give to me without recieving back). The mood just goes from being very intense to very lovely and then we cuddle and slowly stop doing anything sexual without even thinking about it because we both feel that we simply had enough. I like it like that.
And I was saying that I know that he doesn't want to use me because in the past we had issues with that as I often felt like all he wanted is to have sex and that he couldn't be so sweet if it wasn't to get what he wanted from me. As I said, I really came a long way :P It is sad that some boys had led me to be so suspcicious about every man, even the best ones.