Still not a Doxy devotee

Sex Toys
1

I finally took the plunge and bought the black Doxy from LH... and it's amazing as an actual massager (my shoulders and neck have never felt so light and loose), unfortunately (and this is almost certainly a ME problem not a toy problem !) it can't seem to get me off.

On full power, with me grinding against it (trying to be as PG as possible here, but trust me I put in the effort to make this work), and still nothing. I even had legs shaking and contracting muscles in almost everywhere except where they needed to be- but it appears my clit has just given up the will to live.

I don't want to review my Doxy until I'm SURE I cannot orgasm with it, and preferably want to try any tips or tricks the community has so I can give the best review possible for people out there with the same problem.

I'm not disappointed in it yet, because it HAS delivered everything it claimed: it's a BEAST of a toy. Maybe I'm doing something wrong ?

2

It's true that not every toy is for every one so maybe the doxy just isn't for you.
Prolonged use can have the opposite effect and cause numbness. Certainly we find it's either quick or nothing. Is it also possible you have it on too high? Maybe start lower and see how you get on?

3

Hey Shougani

Sorry, to hear about your problems.... I am yearning for a Doxy myself... my clit can be a bit awkward too so I need plenty of power down there, too!

Have you tried any of the Orgasm Balms? I love and find this two help the most - https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37740 and https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=25360

I'm not gonna be very PG here.. do you use plenty of lube? A find that although I can get plenty wet naturally, it's also very beneficial to use lots of lube too. And do you start off of a low power and work your way up the settings - if I start on high power my clit can become desensitized so I'll quite often use 2 or 3 toys, lower power ones to warm me up, vibes with low rumbly vibrations work best for me as a warm-up, the We-Vibe Wish is great for this - what it lacks in power is made up for by its deep vibes that get really deep down into your clit - the bits you can't see! Then work up to the stronger toy...still on low power, then turn it up. If I'm still not getting off I know I need something inside me too - even to reach just a clitoral orgasm I often need something inside me too! A glass dildo is great for me... but I also find softer dildo's great too - jelly dildo's feel great and more life-like than the solid rubber or latex dildos. This usually works for me... but sometimes I just can't reach a clit come too - mainly down to the opiate meds I need to take - I can usually reach a vaginal come though - with the right tools! Good luck lovely - I hope things get better for you soon xxx

4

When I first got a wand, I was really disappointed in it. I had heard so much about them, about how I would be having the best orgasms of my life within seconds of using it but, while that might be the case for some, for me it did almost nothing.

Some of the issue was psychological. I’d built it up too much in my head and was putting too much pressure on myself to orgasm.

In terms of the wand itself, I found that if I use it for too long, I lost sensitivity and then I have no chance of an orgasm. This happens faster on the higher settings but even using the lowest setting will eventually cause this. I also discovered that I prefer pin point accuracy, which I don’t get with a wand. I find it takes a little more effort to find the perfect spot with a wand than with a smaller toy.

That all being said, I went back to using it with more of an open mind, to try and enjoy the ride (so to speak) rather than guarantee the orgasm. Now I can have a lot of fun with a wand and orgasm from it. I do find that I can’t always orgasm with a wand if am not turned on to start with (whereas i can orgasm with, say, a bullet in that situation).

In short, my advice is to relax, give yourself plenty of time, warm yourself up a bit first, and just enjoy using it, forgetting about the orgasm. Once you have managed to orgasm from it, it will get easier to do.

That all being said, not every toy suits everyone and that’s ok. If you don’t enjoy using a wand, use a toy you do enjoy. Sex toys should be fun not frustrating.

If you do really want to enjoy wands, maybe try a different one? Consider what toys work best for you and see if you can find a wand that shares attributes. For example, if you need internal stimulation as well, try Lovehoney’s rabbit wand, realistic wand or the Bodywand curved, g spot or rabbit wands. If need more accuracy, look at a smaller wand, I haven’t tried it myself but I have heard good things about the Lovehoney USB rechargeable mini wand. If most of your favourite toys are rechargeable, try a rechargeable one or if they are silicone or come from a specific range (Desire, FSOG, Lelo etc) then try a wand that matches. If you need less power, look for a cheaper wand or even a battery powered wand.

If you do go for a substitute wand, hopefully it will work for you and get you more used to wands, so that you can eventually go back to the Doxy and enjoy that as well.

5

Tbh I have a wand and I like it now - I have the Lelo Medium one, but I have to say it took me a long time to really get off on it. The main reason is that I prefer more pint point stimulation and I like to move the toy round my clitoris, which I find the wand is not that good for.

It did take me some time to experiment with it, but I am finding that it is good for me for when I have the time to reach orgasm more slowly, since I rub it all over the clitoral area, not just over clitoris directly. Not sure if I am making much sense.

Also using a orgasm balm as mentioned before may help.

But if it does not work for you, which may happen, then LH has great return policy.

6

Thank you for your responses !
I think a lot of my anxiety has come from the fact that it was so expensive (for me at least), and had SUCH great reviews, I felt as though I was broken so to speak.

I'm going to try again, slower, with a lot more lube, and maybe buy some orgasm balm (what does that actually do ? A toned down version of rubbing chillies and ginger ?). :')

My fastest and 100% guaranteed way to orgasm is by grinding against solid surfaces (mattresses, floors, tables, etc.); maybe I should look around for a textured yoga mat instead... it's just a bit disappointing because I was so ready to learn to orgasm in different ways (my partner was also excited to be able to reciprocate, give forced orgasms, etc.).

The reason I don't want to try a smaller wand is, although as Laveila mentioned, LoveHoney's return policy IS amazing... I don't want to be one of those people that tries it all and sends it back, y'know ? Reminds me of a child left unattended in the Cinema's sweetie's pick 'n' mix section.

7

Ok Shougani I have the doxy Diecast in purple and it's really powerful, but it doesn't get me over the finishing line, which I was really dissapointed by when I got it. Fortunately my OH loves it with the hummer attachment.

Now this https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=38977 is stunning. The doxy little brother. This is a different matter, I love it.

So not every great toy is stunning for everyone, but it might be worth looking at the doxy number 3.

8

Shouganal,

I know what you mean... I dont want to be one of those, but I admit over the years I sent some toys, I think two? back because they were expensive and they just did not work for me... And I gave them time, like even two or three months and it just did not work... So I returned them.

If it really does not work for me, then I send it back. But I get what you mean.