Been a while since i have posted anything but thought it might be worth an update.
Those who know me will be aware of my struggles and unfortunately thing havent improved.
I feel i have lost myself. I have no idea what i want with/from my life. I lost my dad a couple of months ago and work is just soul destroying.
I dont know what to do. My friends are struggling and im having to bail them out.
Im so alone and dont know what to do
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Life is hard sometimes, might be worth writing down your positives and negatives and start to look at changing the negatives to positives.
Start with your job, if your unhappy in your work life start to put plans in place to change your job
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@zombifiedguy How lovely to hear from you, but how awful the circumstances. So, a few things.
- We’re here. You’re not alone with us reprobates to talk to. We can lend an ear and give advice. And we care. I know its hard to believe that, but we do.
- You’ve got four things there, each of which needs dealing with. I can totally understand how you don’t know what to do - that’s a lot to try to process.
- Your Dad dying is an awful place to be, and that in itself can make you feel lost. Perhaps some grief counselling may help. That seems to me like the place to start. You can’t really make progress on the others until you’ve made progress on this.
- Work. I know from my husband and others on here how soul destroying it is trying to find another job. Husband only made progress when he did a total career change, and it seems to have done the trick. Is that doable for you? What could you change to, and would it make you happier?
- Your friends. Do they realise you are struggling? Is it all one way? If they aren’t helping you, I would suggest not bailing them out, and focussing on your own issues. If they are helping you on a mutual basis, then all is good.
That’s a start. I have an early start in the morning, so I’ll try to respond a little more over the weekend.
And finally, have a fucking big hug from me. 
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@KinkyMira Well said on all 5 points. @zombifiedguy a step back and look at the positives is a start then take each point in turn and don’t try to rush things the main think is to look after your self first.
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We are all hear to listen and to support you. I think @KinkyMira has summed things up brilliantly. Life can and will get better. Big hugs from all on the forum.
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We have a wide range of ages and life experience here, and there’s virtually always someone here to listen and support anyone who’s struggling. Sending hugs.
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Thank you for your replies and support, it means alot to me.
@KinkyMira i dont have many friends to begin with and each of them are struggling with their own issues. Im trying to support them as best as i can.
Not sure what career ai could go into, been in this job about 17 years, need a really good think (if my stupid brain will work).
Feel like i have no energy or motivation, just want to sleep
I have suffered from clinical depression in the past (and occasionally still do). In my head I had so many issues which I needed to deal with and refused help with them so that they built up into a mountain of problems.
In order to cope and eventually bring myself back to normality I learned to step back and look at the issues individually, to prioritise them and to isolated those issues which were within my capabilities to solve. The rest, which were not actually my issues at all, I ignored or gave them a very low priority.
By working on them one at a time they became doable and, as the issues disappeared my mental health improved and I began to see the problems as less and less daunting.
Sorry for rambling a little and perhaps this is not directly applicable to your current situation but this was (and still is) my coping strategy.
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I was made redundant after 25 years in my early 50’s, took a totally different job, out of my comfort zone. It’s cleaner, safer, and much less stress, and i get on well with my workmates, so do believe me it CAN be done. I will add that i was unemployed for only 5 weeks and that included Christmas and New Year, so it can be done no matter your age. Sometimes we are trapped in awful jobs by our fear of change.
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I think @rockstar has nailed it with hos comments here @zombifiedguy although to add there are always support groups / professional help nearby, just dont be afraid to reach out to them for help.
Stay strong
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Sorry to hear you are struggling, yes life can suck at times, especially after you lose someone close.
Knowing you are struggling and want to change/get help is often the first step, well done on this.
Being able to talk to someone does help and as you can see there is often someone here to listen.
Depending on where you are there will be professionals avaible to help. Only thing I can suggest is seeing your Doctor/GP who can help eliminate any medical condition that may not be helping and also advising where you can get more help.
All the best on turning this around mate.
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So sorry to hear of this dude and I think maybe it might be good to look into some counselling sessions to see if it can help so you have that little bit of support there to talk open to someone face to face freely.
I can kinda relate to some things as am in a weird place too at the mo so can understand how lonely and boxed in it can be.
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I’m sorry to hear you’re going through it. You aren’t alone, even though it feels like it. We might just be strangers on the internet but we care, I hope that you will keep reaching out.
My job was destroying my soul too, I left and I’ve been so much happier since. Sometimes one step is all you need and the rest will feel lest bleak, and it doesn’t have to be as drastic as that, is there something you can do just for yourself that you enjoy to get back some light?
Might be worth talking to a counsellor as others have said just to get it out and build some healthy coping strategies. It won’t always be like this.
All the best and hugs
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