I would personally just like my partner to try taking on a Domme role every so often. I've never really had the chance to try the sub role, even though I'm so keen on it.
rag doll wrote:
well im sure theres always room for a thread on sandwiches AliMc :)
Took your suggestion lol
rag doll wrote:
whats your favorite thing to dress up in/as DOC1?
my favorite is any thing fem like lace nickers and stockings and a baske type thing.
so u in to watersports
xxx
My sub likes a lot of things, humiliation play is a big one, especially if it means being caught in public. I make him wear his collar, shave his legs, paint his nails black, make him go out in a thong and stockings, or wearing a cock ring or a butt plug, he also likes me writing on him. Pet play is also a big turn on, I make him my slave puppy and he has to earn a place on my bed with me. I also cuckhold him and make him wear a chasity device which he loves, and I know that we have the trust and if he ever misbehaved he would tell me and expect a punishment.
JH - there is a difference between being a Dominant and being a Top.. dominant is the frame of mind and the dynamics of the relationship. Whether it be restrained to the bedroom or not.
Anyway, as a switch, I get to tell both sides of my story.
Gunther - simply, being submissive doesn't mean you lose the right to preferences. A true dom gets enjoyment in seeing his/her submissive experiencing pleasure/pain (if maso). And simply, if a sub doesn't like one Dom's game, then they can go play anothers.
As a sub/bottom I'm all for edge play, some rough and tumble etc but I'm not at all maso.
As a Domme/Top, I'm (again) for edge play but I love to see my subs positively distressed, begging, servitude, some sadism and humiliation.
Might it be said though that I don't always want to recieve the things I give and vice versa. It's okay to want different things when in either persona
DOC1 wrote:
so u in to watersports
umm i swimm if thats what you mean or am i being too innocent or something
if you dont mind me saying, if you do mean that than may i direct you back on topic or to an "of topic chatt and games" forum
Avrielle_Aniko wrote:
I used to enjoy Breathe Play too. But that has completely gone from me too. Back near the very start of my relationship with my current partner, I told him I liked breathe play and asked him to hold my neck down. He did ok to start with, but then he got carried away and I was suffocated. He didn't realise until I was grabbing his arm and trying to get him off me, because he thought that was part of that game!!! I coughed and spluttered a bit and he was so scared he didn't dare go near me. I kept telling him I was fine and that I should have talked him through it properly before we started, but he was in shock! After that he didn't want any part in anything with me that was dangerous. And that is entirely understandable!
that sounds really scary. i hate being dom ,although my partner is a swith, mainly cos im scared i might do something like that. its a lot of trust we instill in our Doms so its nice to know that they know what their doing.
i feel sorry for you having a partner who is no good at being Dom but im very peased that you dont make that a big thing in your relationship, which sounds like a realy loving one (although really fustrating when you want to play sub i imagin)
rag doll wrote:
anyone tried suspention? not realy something you can do at home unless you got good exposed beams.
haven't tried it but i have had the opportunity to. the person i played with had an electrical winch installed in their playroom to the ceiling.
I was however at the time very new to BDSM and I have joint issues which suspension would most likley exacerbate, came to the decision not to with the dom in question.
looking back i'd probably try it if i had the opportunity again
Ragdoll - I've tried suspension.
What did you want to know?
I'm also a rigger... ;)
Ms HKM wrote:
Ragdoll - I've tried suspension.
What did you want to know?
I'm also a rigger... ;)
thats awesome!
was wondering how many had tried it and if they liked it. but any advice or ways it could be adapted to work at home would be great.
i genraly love rope bondage and would lve to try suspention (me and my partner have wanted to foor a while) it looks realy beautiful and excitinng.
rag doll wrote:
DOC1 wrote:
so u in to watersports
umm i swimm if thats what you mean or am i being too innocent or something
if you dont mind me saying, if you do mean that than may i direct you back on topic or to an "of topic chatt and games" forum
was that a no lol
xxx
Ragdoll - if you feel a connection with rope then suspension offers new realms. It's not the be all and end all though and I personally prefer floor work. Suspension is very taxing - and often painful. More so than you can gather from any photo.
If you're thinking of doing it at home - go to an event first where you can get some advice. It's a dangerous business and shouldn't be taken at all lightly. You can rip muscles, tendons, severe bruising, numbing, loss of sensation and that's not including if your rope breaks or the suspension point itself breaks!
Make sure your rope is in good condition, you're safety SSC and RACK aware, have climbing grade equipment and your point is load tested. If you're creative - use the underside of the dining table (providing it's a nice sturdy one!!). It's not the same as 'flying' but you'll get to experience all the tensions of being suspended.
Where in the UK are you?
Ms HKM wrote:
Ragdoll - if you feel a connection with rope then suspension offers new realms. It's not the be all and end all though and I personally prefer floor work. Suspension is very taxing - and often painful. More so than you can gather from any photo.
If you're thinking of doing it at home - go to an event first where you can get some advice. It's a dangerous business and shouldn't be taken at all lightly. You can rip muscles, tendons, severe bruising, numbing, loss of sensation and that's not including if your rope breaks or the suspension point itself breaks!
Make sure your rope is in good condition, you're safety SSC and RACK aware, have climbing grade equipment and your point is load tested. If you're creative - use the underside of the dining table (providing it's a nice sturdy one!!). It's not the same as 'flying' but you'll get to experience all the tensions of being suspended.
Where in the UK are you?
thanks for the advice Ms HKM
that all sounds very sensible and i like the dining table idea.
i would love to go to an event but feel that as im under 18 that is probably unlikely for the time being
live in south west not too far from bristol
PS its rag doll not Rag doll. im a sub and my Master and i dont allow me to refer to myself using capitals.
Yeah you might have a problem being under 18! Still, doesn't mean your partner can't go along to these events and learn and bring home the knowledge to you. Also, you can gain lots of advice online. Kink Academy offer some amazing educational videos but it's not free. However I think if you learn what you can now - the hands on stuff should come quicker.
Also, rag doll, whilst I fully respect your submissive role (and this is in my opinion) you can't expect it to extend to others. The usage of capitalisation on my part is at my discretion. He is your dominant, not mine, and therefore these rules are only for you. Similarly, if a person was to approach you for friendship (or otherwise) it is your responsibility to ask for permission from your Master/Dominant/Owner and not that of the third person. Yes, it's polite but don't let these rulings become an obsession. Submission is a taxing journey.
I'm only saying this for future reference incase I capitalise your name again. Correct grammar and all that - it's a hard cookie to crumble... but basically, no offence is meant. No ill thoughts etc. Writing doesn't always come off well as there's no tone involved... :)
aghh, i fugured it was likely to be a term i hadnt come across yet. thanks.
no, im not overly into water sports but it doesnt grose me out either. i think i just like the itermacy of being able to do stuff like me and my Partner do when He stops me weeing. He sometimes makes me clean Him after going for a wee too. i think what He likes is its the fact that not many people would let you do that to them.
oh and sorry Ms HKM, what i meant is i consider the correct spelling of my name to be with lower case, not that im trying to impose my rules on you (was jut explaining why) its a bit like spelling something with an ie or Y when i ask others to use lowercase
thanks
and i agree, it cn sometimes be a taxing journy
rag doll - don't worry I didn't mean it any kind of vicious way - just my thoughts.
Since you're under 18, do you engage much with other people in the scene at all? Do you have any friends or peers that are aware of (and can understand/relate to) your relationship status?
no not realy but id really like to. its nice discousing things with like-minded people and not having to explain misconceptions. i have one fried who i think understands (she is prity openminded what with having two mums) but she isn't in the scene.
my mum found out what i was into earlier in my relationship and couldnt understand it at all (she is strongly femenist, not that you cant be femenist and ito BDSM) that was somewhat upsetting as it felt like she was critisizing me for my personal interests and she said some pritty nasty things mainly baised on misconception.
What about online friends?
I only ask because I'm curious as to how you cope what with not being fully integrated in the scene? 'cope' might not be the best word to describe it though lol! You know what I mean (I hope) :P
I love being choked, spanked, hair pulled, talked dirty toand having my head pulled right back during doggy. I like being told what to do... not going into much detail over this as it has already been covered :)
indeed i do. well i have only just started using the Lovehoney forums and im really enjiying talking to people here.
i do know what you mean by cope :)
well i have only been with my partner for a year and it was me who introduced me to the scene. i had prahaps had the occational fantasy before then prahaps such as "oh i wonder what it would be like to have sex whilst handcuffed to the head bord" (that was before id ever had sex) and i have always love electric shocks from ellectric fences (but that isnt that unusual i dont think)
he got me into ropes and blindfolds quite early on and i very quickly started discovering things for myself and jumping at every new thing he offered me (anal not quite as eager but now eager to try more)
i hove only really started concidering myself properly in the scene, but as you say, not fully integrated for prahaps the last 6-8 months. so im still reletively new
i do sometimes relly wish i had a network of people around me who shared my beliefs and enjoyment of BDSM but at the same time, still being fairly young im not entirly sure im ready yet to get more publicly involved in the scene. also, still living at home makes that impractical.
at the moment i content myself with wih my fiew subtel outwould expresions of being a sub such as wearing cuffs (not propper ones, just leather straps around each wrist which peole sometimes think are watches) and the O-ring from my collar around a chain as a necklace. with discousing things only with my Partner and my friend (my best friend who iv known all my life sirt of freaked when i told her) and talking here.
copeing can be a problem when im callanged about things, such as when my mum found a riding crop down the side of my bed whilst changing my sheets for me once as at those times i would love to have a network of people to turn to to remind me that what im doing isnt wrong and to remind me why i like the things i do. allso finding places where i can be loud when Master spanks me and finding reliable information when we want to try new things can sometimes be a hastle.
im sure in time though ill find a friendly reliable group of likeminded people and become more integrated into the scene.
and thank you for your friendly contribution Ms HKM