Suggestions for supposed ED

Folks, OH and I are after some suggestions for causes of problems maintaining an erection during sex.

We have a very active sex life, a toy box full of fun and are often experimental but we seem to hit a wall quite frequently where he can go from rock hard to completely soft in the flick of a switch. It can happen during any part of sex, from foreplay to penetration, whether he's touching me or me touching him.

We've tried abstaining for days, cock rings, cutting out alcohol but nothing seems to ultimately fix the problem.

We've spoken about seeing our GP, but getting an appointment is a challenge in itself so would appreciate any insight you can share. Thank you.

Is this a new thing? Or a long standing thing?
With my husband it's very much psychological, he's been the same for over 20 years. He gets anxious. GP has given him pills to take to help maintain an erection when we want to have sex, but it rather takes the spontaneity away.

ÈD can often be a symptom of other physical problems which your GP can test for.
Does he smoke?

ED can be caused by many things .Seeing a G P would be a good move. My ED was cured when I lost weight as my blood flow increased.

Thanks for the replies. He's a former smoker, been off them for 8 years and if anything is under weight.

The key here is trying to find out the cause of the problem that is causing the ED .Once identified thrn corrective action can be taken.

100% take a trip to the docs.. they see this all the time!

If they can't give you anything maybe try a pump if you haven't already, and then add the cock ring this may help some what, or at least whilst your waiting for your appointment.

Wight*goddess wrote:

Folks, OH and I are after some suggestions for causes of problems maintaining an erection during sex.

We have a very active sex life, a toy box full of fun and are often experimental but we seem to hit a wall quite frequently where he can go from rock hard to completely soft in the flick of a switch. It can happen during any part of sex, from foreplay to penetration, whether he's touching me or me touching him.

We've tried abstaining for days, cock rings, cutting out alcohol but nothing seems to ultimately fix the problem.

We've spoken about seeing our GP, but getting an appointment is a challenge in itself so would appreciate any insight you can share. Thank you.

Hi there, please go to your GP, (I know getting an appointment can be a hassle but even if its for 3 weeks time book it anyway) Chances are they will prescribe Sidenafil ( Viagra type tablets) but they will only give you enough for one per week.... The good news that you can buy it online without a prescription, so be sure to ask your GP if its okay to take more.

Chances are that the competition between him and your toys "maybe" playing a part an is feeling a tad redundent, it maybe a subconsious thing going on. It maybe that 1 'scripts worth of the blue pill maybe enough to boost his confidence and get things back to normal, but please do get him checked out.

Miracle - he's got a cancellation at docs!
I did wonder about the toys being a distraction or over compensating but I'm not sure. If the mood is right then he has no trouble getting hard or even penetrating, its just seeing things through. Either he comes to fast or the moment passes and he gets soft.

I hate to think that its just a part of getting older (he's only 48), and the thought that pills are the only future is distressing.

It might be nothing or it could be something such as depression or diabetes that could be to blame. A cock ring could also help, they do some good vibrating ones here, (a good anniversary pressie maybe...)

Once it's happened once, the subconscious can hone in on it and take over. It might have been a medical reason, mood related or drink infused (if he drinks) reason the first time and after that a mental block. It's best to rule out the medical and hormonal reasons first, so the doctor should be able to look at those possibilities and give you some answers. If everything's fine on the health front, psychological options might be helpful.

He's got some that we've used with varying success and you never know what the Lovehoney fairy might have delivered for the anniversary 😉

Thanks NatandTom. Glad he's managed to get an appointment. I cant go with him which is a shame, I wanted to be there for support.

Oh, that sucks :( As long as you are there to support him afterwards, that's all that matters. I've had a similar issue with my partner before when we first started having sex and it turned out to just be nerves and anxieties, so I know how tough it can be for both people. Hope all goes well!

How did he get on? X

The doc doesn't think its psychological. He's got to go for a blood test to check out hormones and diabetes. Thanks for asking.

If it is diabetes it would explain a lot, I have it and have similar issues, tablets as mentioned earlier in this thread do wonders however, The worst part (for us anyway) about the disease, is if your sugars go high that you can get thrush, so don't bash him for putting Percy in somebody elses pie, just bash him for not cutting out the wrong foods....

Hopefully though its something more simple to treat.

Thanks TD. He doesn't show any other obvious symptoms for diabetes but it is in his family, so who knows.

Re thrush - thats my monthly battle 😣 He has never once had it but i get it every few weeks (not related to our activities, I even had it through the wilderness years).

"... and the thought that pills are the only future is distressing."

If it comes to pills to treat ED try not to see it as a downer but as just a helping hand! If it gets to alleviate the problem I would see it as a plus?

Viagra could be considered like glasses or contact lenses. If you need them, you need them. It's not like you could focus better just because you really want to see something or someone. And it's something else that goes with age!

I think most men have had ED at some point in their lives, me included and I have even been prescribed VIAGRA when I was younger (Which all it seemed to give me was a bad headache)

There are so many causes diabetes, stress, anxiety, genetic disorders etc etc

it could even be a combination of a few things

The Problem is the more a man stresses about it, the worse the situation gets.

Penis's do really have a mind of their own sometimes and sometimes they just dont want to play!

I really find cock rings help but its worth noting some cock rings are better than others and also it can make a difference where you actually put the cock ring!

I find they work better around the base of the penis/under scrotum area rather than just the base of the penis (all men are different)

Hope it all works all out, theres always a solution to a problem though, might just take time!