So having been on the forums for a few weeks I have noticed that it seems everyone has some thing that makes their sex life difficult, be it an illness of themselves or their partner, a difficult work pattern, living with family, having kids, living apart or miles away from each other or even just finding it difficult to get in synch with each other. We all have these difficulties and yet many people seem reluctant to talk about them for fear of sounding like they are "moaning" too much!
So I thought a good idea would be a thread where people can have a bit of a moan, ask for advice or just chat away about what ever makes things difficult for them and how they deal with it! It always helps to have another perspective on things! And you never know, you could stumble across that one piece of golden advice that makes everything easier! (I have had a quick search and can't find a similar thread around already but sorry if there is!)
So what makes things a little tougher for you? And how do you get around it? Do you and your OH talk about it or do you try to work through it alone?
I feel self conscious now, does this mean people who use the forum do so because they have a difficult sex life? Hang on while I tell myself not to be so silly.....
... Righto, silly self indulgent worry purged.
My loved one and I have a great sex life, no real problems but I guess there is the usual too tired (we do work hard and together) or too many house guests. But I guess that just shows how lucky we are the rest of the time. Cheesy, but true. :)
I feel self conscious now, does this mean people who use the forum do so because they have a difficult sex life? Hang on while I tell myself not to be so silly.....
... Righto, silly self indulgent worry purged.
My loved one and I have a great sex life, no real problems but I guess there is the usual too tired (we do work hard and together) or too many house guests. But I guess that just shows how lucky we are the rest of the time. Cheesy, but true. :)
No no no, don't be silly! We use the forum because we share a love of all things sexual!
I just noticed that people don't like to discuss their difficulties and I think we should, because sometimes sex is hard work (like when you're tired!) but it shows a strong relationship if you're willing to put the effort in for each other! I also think that people don't recognise the little things that can be improved...I'm a big believer that we shouldn't take our relationships for granted and that we can always do something to make our partner feel appreciated and vice versa!
My difficulty is...my joints! I have a "joint problems" which is caused by a genetic collagen disorder. My joints don't sit right and slide around more than they should. This damages my muscles and requires a lot of concentration just to sit without causing pain. I have chronic joint pain and am always exhausted because of the lack of sleep due to pain and the concentration holding my joints in takes.
My OH is fabulous, He is so understanding, gives me massages so that I can survive sex better, carries things when we go out so my shoulders don't hurt, makes sure I take my tablets to help me sleep so I'm not too exhausted, goes for little walks with me to keep my joints moving and generally just tries to be understanding. He lets me lie down to give head when I'm sore, is understanding when I can't go on top due to my hips and generally helps me to be comfortable during sex.
Because he is so understanding, I put a lot of effort in to make sure I don't get too tired or too sore each day, and I aim to give him at least something sexual every day to show my appreciation, even if that just means allowing him to masterbate then come in my mouth. I also try to pay attention to my pain and fatigue and if I'm on a good day I will make up for all the things he's missed out on....
there is more work to do to get the balance perfect but we are working on it and it makes me so much happier that he understands. And it shows me how much he loves me that he is prepared to put the effort in External Media
No Noon... for most people I's say its a hobby but once you get to know people online its often easier to share something with friends so many people do!
Never hurts to get different opinions.
Good thread too AdnaW... As you mentioned some people want to talk about stuff like this but don't want to 'clog' up other threads.
Should also mention that members here arn't exactly trained professionals! So our own advice shouldn't be put ahead of those with the relevent expertise if it relevent.
Hi AdnaW! No probs here really girl. We only see each other once a week mostly but we're currently house hunting to move in together so that will be sorted soon enough. My kids and her kids all get on famously as do our families and we are lucky to be well N Sync (terrible band pun I know) with one another.
Hi AdnaW! No probs here really girl. We only see each other once a week mostly but we're currently house hunting to move in together so that will be sorted soon enough. My kids and her kids all get on famously as do our families and we are lucky to be well N Sync (terrible band pun I know) with one another.
It's a very british thing to brush off the little things isn't it.....I did try not to use the word "problems" because I know most people don't see difficulties as problems....my OH wouldn't say my joints are a problem, they are just a little thing we have to consider sometimes! Just like living apart, it's a bit difficult but it's not a problem...does that make sense?
the other point in this thread is to make people consider that they are lucky, we should appreciate our sex lives External Media
Sounds like you are pretty well sorted though External Media!....I'm now thinking of wandering off and creating a "What are you grateful for thread" to counter this one hehe.
No bloody wonder WandA (eh that's nearly a tongue twister!) is so attentive to you girl, the errrr rewards he gets are very very good by the sounds of it, jammy git!
No bloody wonder WandA (eh that's nearly a tongue twister!) is so attentive to you girl, the errrr rewards he gets are very very good by the sounds of it, jammy git!External Media
SG69 x
Hehe it's always important to show a bit of appreciation External Media
i have dyspraxia, which carries the same fatigue rates as ME (http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/), then i have dyslexia which also carries a fatigue rate, then i have an underative thyroid which again carries a fatigue rate. this makes some everyday situations awkward as well as in a romanitc./sexual situation
the most obvious one would be the fatuge, but as with everything theres ways round it, i can take it easier in the day, or scedule it in the morning or early afternoon ect.
i have poor grip, so im not terribly good at giving strong, firm gripped hand jobs plus it makes things like eating with certain cutelry hard too, so i have to be concious of what i choose to eat and wear on dates and things.
theres poor hand eye coordination, which means i dribble and spill stuff down me all the time, and i sometimes walk into walls and pther people cause ive miss juged the space. and difficulties with balance as well so standing sex poitions and sexy heels are pretty much out of the question!
when i am really tired i tend to slur my speech, and it can make communication difficult with people who dont know me very well or can't understand why im slurring. ( i have been accused of turning up to school and colledge drunk before because of it, i never would though)
in noisy places i cant concentrate on one person or thing, so it makes dates and days out to noisy places like pubs and clubs awkward. also i tend to get sensory overload with it and it sometimes gives me panic attacks
theres also the fact that i am crap at picking up humour and sarcasm and when people are being rude to me (both dyslexia and dyspraxia are autistic spectrum) also i am crap at picking up when people are genuinley interested in me, and am paranoied when people are, as has been said in other threads
oh and im also as subtle as a brick and tend to tell people how it is when most others would at least try to be diplomatic.
dyspraxia carries low musscle tone with it, so sometimes my joints swell and i get cramp or twitching legs which can make sharing a bed interesting when im randomly kicking a partner withought meaning to!
With anyhting in life theres a way around stuff like this. yes, im registered disabled and could easily sit and play the victim, but hat kind of life is that. ive worked my arse off to get to uni and although i need specialist equiptment and certain living situations i am just like most others here.
- I FINALLY get to watch "The Beach" tonight on telly! My mother told me that I must read the book first before watching the film, and I was never into reading at the time. I've been trying to read it so many times during my teenage years and now-Now! I have finally read it, all the way through (And I loved it!) so after 10 years more or less, I can get to sit down and watch the movie!!
- I have half a tub of Ben and Jerrys Ice cream left in the freezer!
Ok, so not so much sexual problems, but hell, whatever.
So your night will consist of curling up watching a film and eating ben and jerrys....sounds like a good plan to me External Media.
sweetlove666 wrote:
i have dyspraxia, which carries the same fatigue rates as ME (http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/), then i have dyslexia which also carries a fatigue rate, then i have an underative thyroid which again carries a fatigue rate. this makes some everyday situations awkward as well as in a romanitc./sexual situation
the most obvious one would be the fatuge, but as with everything theres ways round it, i can take it easier in the day, or scedule it in the morning or early afternoon ect.
i have poor grip, so im not terribly good at giving strong, firm gripped hand jobs External Media plus it makes things like eating with certain cutelry hard too, so i have to be concious of what i choose to eat and wear on dates and things.
theres poor hand eye coordination, which means i dribble and spill stuff down me all the time, and i sometimes walk into walls and pther people cause ive miss juged the space. and difficulties with balance as well so standing sex poitions and sexy heels are pretty much out of the question!
when i am really tired i tend to slur my speech, and it can make communication difficult with people who dont know me very well or can't understand why im slurring. ( i have been accused of turning up to school and colledge drunk before because of it, i never would though)
in noisy places i cant concentrate on one person or thing, so it makes dates and days out to noisy places like pubs and clubs awkward. also i tend to get sensory overload with it and it sometimes gives me panic attacks
theres also the fact that i am crap at picking up humour and sarcasm and when people are being rude to me (both dyslexia and dyspraxia are autistic spectrum) also i am crap at picking up when people are genuinley interested in me, and am paranoied when people are, as has been said in other threads
oh and im also as subtle as a brick External Media and tend to tell people how it is when most others would at least try to be diplomatic.
dyspraxia carries low musscle tone with it, so sometimes my joints swell and i get cramp or twitching legs which can make sharing a bed interesting when im randomly kicking a partner withought meaning to!
With anyhting in life theres a way around stuff like this. yes, im registered disabled and could easily sit and play the victim, but hat kind of life is that. ive worked my arse off to get to uni and although i need specialist equiptment and certain living situations i am just like most others here.
Well done for getting in to uni sweetlove! It always makes me smile to see people who could just give up (like my dyslexic brother does!!!) work hard and earn something that they totally deserve! What are you studying?
Well done for getting in to uni sweetlove! It always makes me smile to see people who could just give up (like my dyslexic brother does!!!) work hard and earn something that they totally deserve! What are you studying?
Ax
im studying law. a nice "black and white" literal thing. ol
I am very lucky SG! For the last week I've had two blowjobs a day!
It does actually make me grim that much...
Ben and Jerrys Ice cream is almost as good! (Well not really but its bloody nice!!!) Wish I had of gotten some now....
You know what stuck out to me Sweetlove? That you have obviously researched your condition and intend to manage it! Positivity like that should always be commended. I commend you!!
I am very lucky SG! For the last week I've had two blowjobs a day!External Media
It does actually make me grim that much...
Ben and Jerrys Ice cream is almost as good! (Well not really but its bloody nice!!!) Wish I had of gotten some now....
You know what stuck out to me Sweetlove? That you have obviously researched your condition and intend to manage it! Positivity like that should always be commended. I commend you!!External Media
with the conditions i have we had to fight for many years to get me statmented ( so i can get help in school and uni) inluding having to go to legal matters and our local MP. so it does help to know what the conditions entail. one thing i can commend is the dyslexia association, they were brilliant in reccomending things and helping. unfortunatley dyspraxia is where dylsexia was 20 years ago, theres little research into it and many people dont know about it.
I am very lucky SG! For the last week I've had two blowjobs a day!External Media
It does actually make me grim that much...
Ben and Jerrys Ice cream is almost as good! (Well not really but its bloody nice!!!) Wish I had of gotten some now....
You know what stuck out to me Sweetlove? That you have obviously researched your condition and intend to manage it! Positivity like that should always be commended. I commend you!!External Media
with the conditions i have we had to fight for many years to get me statmented ( so i can get help in school and uni) inluding having to go to legal matters and our local MP. so it does help to know what the conditions entail. one thing i can commend is the dyslexia association, they were brilliant in reccomending things and helping. unfortunatley dyspraxia is where dylsexia was 20 years ago, theres little research into it and many people dont know about it.
I only found out about dyspraxia a couple of months ago when doing some school work (in a school, not at school!) I don't think it is in the public knowledge either, or dycalclia (sp?).
