I have just seen this discussion on another forum I am on, and thought it might be interesting to see the difference in views from that forum and this one.
in a nutshell, some states in america are looking to make oral sex illegal for 15-17 year olds, but they would still be okay to have vaginal sex. Which has prompted this article in the telegraph
Part of me thinks that oral sex is a good way to explore your sexuality without having to comming to penetrative sex if you don't feel ready. However I also think that it is a really initimate act, you have your mouth on someone's genitals, how is that not intimate? So I think my opinions contradict each other really.
would love to hear some other views, that are probably going to be a lot more coherent than mine :)
I thought it was one nutwing political candidate who keeps trying to get oral and anal banned and claims it's about prosecuting people who have that type of sex with minors as a smoke screen to make it seem less nutwing. If I've got it right, his attempts have been thoroughly rejected by the U.S. Supreme Court and lesser ones as well. Has something changed in all of this more recently?
IMO, differences in attitude towards types of sexual activity is interesting, but the article makes too much out of the Virginia situation. Politics isn't anywhere near as straightforward as most people like to make out. A lot of bizarre stuff gets put forward for legislation and may only have an ardent supporter or two. Others may go along with it because they're trading support for legislation they want or if they think voters will like it. (And in some areas, voters on the margins have disproportionate effect because they're the ones most likely to vote.)
So separate the question from the political trigger and I think we have a more productive conversation. As it stands, the article makes the nutwing appear to be the norm, at least in Virgina.
To me oral is very intimate act, which I personally love, and no nutwing rich kid from the states is going to influence my personal actions in my home, he can keep his thoughts to himself, I can only imagine, his home life on the other side of the pond is rather bland and uninspiring. Maybe Lovehoney should send him a complimentory oral kit!
I probably should have pointed out that I'm not all that interested in the political aspects, more that it provided me with something to ponder on in my own way, if that makes sense. Wish I had structured the post a little differently now, oh well, hindsight is a wonderful thing, lol.
You were just following the tack set by the article, LadyS, which wasn't really about the political thing either. Since this is the internet though it's probably best to squelch the political aspect before anyone gets too outraged and covers your thread in flames. :-)
I can't figure out how to hierarchise between types of sex for myself. It's all contextual and quite intimate. Will have a think on it for you. I didn't become sexually active until my mid-20s, so there wasn't a time when I was exploring one and not ready for the other. That might limit my insight into your question.
My first sexual activity was at the age of 14 - a handjob. I lost my virginity at 15 and preformed my first oral not long after. And almost 6 years on, I'm still with the same guy!
Love to give and recieve oral. Was shocked to read recently that some US states used to jail men for simply having recieved a BJ. That was as recently as the 1940's!!!
Seems they keep trying to regress society to some kind of victorian ideal. When will these people ever stop intruding in other peoples sex lives.
I just don't understand the point in making it illegal?! It's not like they can police it, if people want to do it they're going to do it. It seems silly to have a lower age for actual sex and then a higher age for something I personally class as foreplay to some extent.
Also guys just remember at LH sexual happiness starts at 18, so don't discuss sexual stuff with an age of under 18. xx
That's a good idea, make it illegal and everyone is going to suddenly stop doing it.
In some States they have abortion laws where they have to wait until the baby is developed enough to have a beating heart, so that the mother is then forced to listen to the baby's beating heart and see a scan of the baby before she can consent to an abortion.
All these age restriction laws achieve is making people grow up slower and act maturely later in life. The law in this country where you can have sex at 16 but can't watch it until 18 makes me laugh.
persons who would ban oral sex must be out of touch with real people and real feelings. such proscribers must have hang ups, like to be seen as superior and want to control others pleasures.
Yeah, all the different ages annoy me to no end! People will do what they want when they want, regardless of the law. 16 for sex, 18 for porn, sex toys and drinking? It makes no sense! Y'know, you'd think with the rising figures of teen pregnancies, they'd allow people to buy sex toys at a younger age to perhaps deter them from having sex and taking risks at such a young age
Looks like your main question has been lost completely, LadyS. I'd like to know other people's thoughts on that as well. Maybe another thread when it's not the weekend? One that avoids the different matters of age and legislation altogether perhaps, and leave this thread to those complaints?
My opinion is that when the word "sex" comes up, it often springs to peoples mind "penetration" I wonder if this goes back to the past, I mean it was not really that long ago that sex was the wifely duty of the female. Then the sexual revolution hit and women developed their own sexual agency and we are now here in a wonderful place, but ideas in the mind can be harder to drop? So sex = penetration (or the MAIN, or natural end to the session) in lots of minds and everything else is just foreplay?
Anyway, I believe foreplay is sex and so the oral sex you mention is included, along with manual stimulation and basically...everything!
To me sex = Getting aroused with another person and pleasuring each other. (with consent ofc) I think if we hold on to the believe that sex is penetration and foreplay is everything else we do before sex, it can cause problems! Performance anxiety etc.
If I classed sex as penetration only, then my partner and I rarely have sex. maybe once or twice a month. If I counted foreplay and everything else in between, then we have "sex" almost every night. We are both happy and content with our "sex life" too, despite the focus not always, or often being on penetration.
Would I therefore class oral sex as an intimate act, definitely. Just as intimate as penetration? yep!
I must say though..oral sex is SO intimate to me, that I was actually having penetrative sex BEFORE i started to really experiment and enjoy oral sex. I was more nervous back then, of his face down there, than his penis. However, you can still catch STI's from oral sex and so young people who use oral sex as a means to delay penetration need to be educated on that and use protection still, if this is the route they choose.
