So me and my OH were chatting last night, and I brought up the topic of 'the list' (list of celebrities you would be allowed to have sex with if there was ever an opportunity). I thought this was a rather fun topic and just a little joke. (I feel like I need to add that we have been together very nearly a year).
Instead, and to my absolute surprise, I ended up being shouted at and accused of wanting to cheat on him and it all turned very sour, very quickly.
This was obviously not what I meant by 'the list'. Any partners I have had in the past, we have discussed this as a fun joke, and nothing harmful has ever been meant by it.
I just wanted to see if any of you lovely members have ever had a reaction like this from a partner, or in fact you would have a problem if your partner had an open few celebrities he/she wanted to have sex with if the situation ever arose?
I do not have a problem if he had told me he had a list, I only meant it light heartedly! I just wanted to check if this was a case of jealousy, or if infact I am in the minority or the majority on 'the list'?
Was just a bit curious to see what you guys had to say on this! :) x
Like Cat Lady I've also never had a partner, and I too thought that the majority of people have 'the list' as well...heck, I know I do and when it comes round to it I'd expect my future partner(s) to have one as well.
I'd suggest letting him calm down a bit and then try and have a calm chat with him about it. Tell him it was only meant as a joke and reassure him that you wouldn't cheat on him. By any chance has he been cheated on in the past? If so, this could be a cause for his sudden reaction and accusation.
He has never mentioned anything about being cheated on before. He does get jealous though, for example, if a guy would pay any attention to me in a club etc, he would get quite angry over it. Thing is though, he has this typical 'lad' persona and comes across as quite a cocksure man and seems very comfortable in himself. So this reaction did shock me a little bit, as I thought it was just a typical thing to have this list aswell! We have spoken about it since last night and he said that it just plays on his mind, and I have no idea why it should as it is just a jokey, light-hearted thing! x
My partner and I are very open about which celebs we find attractive and neither of us are bothered by it. We are however both very jeleous people when our partner is around members of the opposite sex. I guess with the celeb thing you know it doesn't matter how much they want to sleep with the celeb it's not ever going to happen. I'm really sorry that happened to you though it must have been a right shock when he reacted that way x
You should talk to him about his reaction to clear the air and find out why it plays on his mind.
Not sure why he would react like he did unless he has some insecurity issues he hasn't shared with you? It might not be around cheating just him being worried you don't find him attractive or him not being your type.
Hope you two manage to solve this. Xxx
It's just jealousy. Which I am unfortunately the worst for! I used to react really really badly when my oh said a celebrity was really fit etc. which is embarrassing but I was just insecure about myself and our relationship because I know he cheated on his last girlfriend. I'm still a bit uncomfortable about celebs and regular people but I'm working on it :) feeling better about myself and much more secure with him.
I feel so lucky to have him that sometimes I'm terrified of losing him, which is where it stems from...could be the same for your guy!
I do think its a bit strange he thought that this meant you actually want to cheat on him... I wouldn't think that much of it.. But yeah he is probably just a bit jealous and insecure!
my boyfriend now just doesn't really say stuff like that to me because he knows I'm still a bit sensitive! Unless i bring it up...although even then its dodgy! Lol, it probably sounds like im such a psycho/basket case but its just how I feel and he is happier not making me sad.
Also I should probably point out that I don't really think about celebs and how hot they are, I only have eyes for my man. Don't know why I've just always been like that! So I'm not being hypocritical as I don't think about it or talk about it to him :)
but yeah I'M UNREASONABLE i know i know xx
Sorry envyadams, ended up falling asleep not long after I posted last night.
As other's have said though, it does sound a lot like jealousy and / or insecurity. Is he like this around your male friends too? If his reaction is bothering you and playing on your mind I think you need to try and get him to talk about it so that you can get a better understanding of why he reacted the way he did. You should also keep reassuring him that you wouldn't cheat on him and that in the 'real world' (celebrities are really just fantasies anyway) you only have eyes for him, and him only.
We have discussed this sort of thing before as a bit of harmless fun, and my partner can usually get a little jealous. Mayybe he feels like he is inadequate or not good enough if you look at other people like that? Maybe reassure him that it was just a joke and you would never cheat on him. It does sound like he has a lot of jealousy issues.
Thank you everyone for their comments! I think it must be down to underlying insecurity and jealousy issues which I will have a proper talk with him about, to clear the air.
Don't get me wrong, I can get very jealous too, but certainly not to the same extent...especially not with celebrities, as its not 'the real world'. I do keep reassuring him as I do only have eyes for him, I only ever bought it up as harmless fun. He seems to be alot better today and back to his usual self. I will try and have a proper chat with him about it all though as I'd hate something as small as this to be hanging over our heads. But thank you everyone, you've made me feel alot better about this situation! Much love to you all x
You're welcome. Glad we could help and make you feel better about the situation.
I hope everything goes well and works out for you! :) x