Yeah but then you have the "morning after" and i just dont know...
I know there is still pleanty of time, but i just always think it would be easier if i wasnt attached to the people i was doing it with, that way no one gets hurt and there is no strings!!
Hi TB, hope you've had a good clean up by now
Had my first shot with the aforementioned dildo last night. Well, the OH took me by surprise, and let's just say that it was great Didn't even know he was using it, as I was face down and playing "Guess the Toy", while he had his wicked way with me! Could not believe it when he told me what this fantastic new sensation was, as I was sure it would hurt like billy-oh, but no, pure pleasure all the way, and left me wanting more. Now, I'm guessing you might need to find that damp cloth again, or get yourself firmly sorted out by the girls in the Naughty Corner!
You BOTH have to be ready for group sex (ie more than two). If either on feels forced, it not only won't work, it will store up resentment and trouble. We started when it both felt right, and agreed if either felt bad about it, we'd stop there and then and not do it again. When you're ready we suggest:
1. You go for a foursome first - threesomes are unbalanced and unless the two same-sex players are bi and the other one doesn't mind this, someone could feel very left out.
2. You soft-swing at least the first time. We soft-swung for a whole year before we went all the way with another couple. It didn't seem right before, but on that occasion it did; you'll know when you're ready.
3. Try a swingers' club rather than having somebody round or going to their place. You are on neutral territory which is important. You won't feel obliged to go on with something or someone you're not happy with.
4. IMPORTANT! You discuss beforehand what the rules will be, and don't break them, however turned on you or the 3rd party may be. No should always mean no, whoever says it.
5. You discuss it afterwards, just the 2 of you, honestly say how you feel and listen to the other's viewpoint.
6. STOP if it's ruining your relationship - unless that was both your aim!
It took us both about 30 years of sex before we started swinging seriously. Now it's a part of our lives, very enjoyable and also very bonding too, if it isn't then stop.
Good luck and happy swinging!
Rose & Geoff X
College for swingers Rose and Geoff??
Tallboy
When I think about 3somes they are really appealing, and I would love to have the please of 2 women at the same time, and also I'd love for Mrs Strapon to have the pleasure of 2 men at the same time too, but because of the well known potential consequences of what a 3some could do to a relationship, I just think what i've got is not worth risking.
Again...maybe some fantasies should be left purely to fantasise about!
Strapon, quite right l think, as a fantasy realised like a pricked balloon would then be a fantasy no longer... or would it???
Tallboy
We don't agree - try out your fantasies, then if they work they become beautiful realities you can visit time and time again. We've explored most of our individual former fantasies since we got together, and some of them are now regular (and essential) parts of our sex play. We only wish we hadn't waited so long to try them out, and we occasionally think of all the years we could have been enjoying them,
Of course, if you carry out a fantasy then don't like it, it stops being a fantasy, which is quite healthy, and doesn't develop into an obsession.
Just go for it!
What would most females thoughts be if the male asked for a MMF?
I think three or more somes can be a lot of fun, but can potentially ruin your relationship too. You both need to talk about it very openly and discuss everything you can possibly think of before you actually do it.
It requires a lot of trust and patience and like swingcouple said no always means no.
In my experience an equal number of people is better than 3, because you can feel left out which is a horrible feeling.
If you decide to go through with it: go in open minded and have lots of fun :D
Having done this I can honestly say it was one of the best experiences yet, and brought me and my boyfriend so much closer! If you feel in any way uncomfortable or it doesn't feel 'right' you should stop immediatly though
Hi Zelda, did you persevere with threesomes or did one tryst satisfy your fantasy!!!
TB
heypete wrote:
What would most females thoughts be if the male asked for a MMF?
I don't know, heypete. What would most males think if their partner asked for a peanut butter sandwich? :p
Zelda wrote:
I think three or more somes can be a lot of fun, but can potentially ruin your relationship too. You both need to talk about it very openly and discuss everything you can possibly think of before you actually do it.
It requires a lot of trust and patience and like swingcouple said no always means no.
Am I the only one who thinks that these guidelines apply to every relationship in every circumstance? I mean, talking very openly is hardly an unknown relationship strategy. And as far as I know, relationship or not, no always means no unless it has been specifically negotiated to mean something else (during that open discussion mentioned above).
Also, as a personal opinion, I disagree that something like swinging can ruin a relationship. I think that if a relationship is strong and built on a solid foundation, then it can hardly be damaged by swinging. I also think that if a relationship has hidden vulnerabilities, then trust-intensive activities such as swinging will reveal knowledge of those pre-existing vulnerabilities. My views on that are
- every relationship is unique because it only exists as a result of the unique individuals participating in it.
- relationships continue or end based on the behaviour of one or more participants, and the responses of the other participants to that behaviour
- if the participants in a relationship lack sufficient skills to communicate openly and honestly, to behave respectfully and consistently, and to express themselves to each other accurately and early on in an issue, then that relationship is going to end regardless of whether the symptom of its ending is swinging, cheating, or anything else.
- if a relationship is going to end for whatever reason, then it is going to end regardless of which symptom of dysfunction is the final straw
- when a relationship ends, it's a whole lot harder to attribute appropriate responsibility for specific behaviour, and a whole lot easier to blame something like an impersonal concept of "swinging".
For example, I think there is a world of difference between
"When we negotiate our boundaries and rules together, my partner makes promises which he regularly transgresses afterwards (list examples). As a result, I cannot rely on him to behave as he says he will, which means that I do not trust him, and that is unacceptable to me so I will be terminating my relationship with him."
and
"Swinging killed our relationship, which was perfectly good before."
I mean, I think that if the vulnerabilities are already there, then they exist regardless of which specific behaviours reveal them. I think that if the behaviours which reveal the vulnerabilities are avoided, then vulnerabilities are still there, just hidden, so it isn't like this or that thing "ruined" the relationship. I think that behaviours such as swinging do not create vulnerabilities, they increase awareness of those existing vulnerabilities.
Gosh, I guess I had a lot to say about this. Ok, putting the soapbox away now. :)
Can I ask what people think about a ffm 3sum as my hubby would like one and we have done it 2 times before and I loved watching him with aother girl and he loves watching me with a girl, so would something like that can it help and making thing better and make sex fun and better ? Help please ?
sexy jenny wrote:
Can I ask what people think about a ffm 3sum as my hubby would like one and we have done it 2 times before and I loved watching him with aother girl and he loves watching me with a girl, so would something like that can it help and making thing better and make sex fun and better ? Help please ?
Hey
If you have done it twice before, did it make it better after those times?
Hows your sex life now?
Perhaps somewhere like Adult Friend Finder or a casual dating site could help you find someone.
Good luck.
MC xx
sexy jenny wrote:
Can I ask what people think about a ffm 3sum as my hubby would like one and we have done it 2 times before and I loved watching him with aother girl and he loves watching me with a girl, so would something like that can it help and making thing better and make sex fun and better ? Help please ?
I can't offer any personal advice as I have never explored this avenue.
However from your own comments it sounds like you both enjoyed it - have a natter with your hubby about what you both enjoyed about it & any reservations you had - seems like a good place to start
x
BitofWOW wrote:
Threesomes and Moresomes are definatly not for everyone, me and the OH (LMH) are swingers and have couples over quite regulary and have found that we love it and have made some very good friends doing so. It can be difficult to bring it up to potential candidates for joining you in the bedroom and I'd advise against asking current friends as it could get messy.
Yeah we knew swingers round where we live and the guy brought it up in the first conversation with me, which was highly inappropriate as we were walking our respective kids home from nursery!
The wife was lovely, embarrassed the hubby had done this, he just kept on and on every time we all met up!
At one point we were all round a table having coffee on a day out and he actually said to my OH with his wife sat there, oh god you really want to get into it, its a fantastic feeling f*cking another woman.
My OH took against him after that and I just felt so sorry for the wife, she wasn't enjoying it, instead she rather evidently felt she had to go along with it all for his sake and it was just such a shame.
The friendship fell apart shortly after all this and I still can't believe what an idiot that man is.
Yeah I also gave her £20 not ever wanting it back, she was short on money and needed food for the kids, we got a rap at the door that evening and he threw it back at my OH with a spiel of vitriolic abuse!
Nice! lol
some people are just kn*bs
xx
BitofWOW wrote:
Mistress Cara wrote:
some people are just kn*bs
Sounds it! Nice way to show appreciation
Indeed. Anyway sorry for going off topic slightly. Am sure there are many fine and lovely swingerers out there! I wouldn't mind the soft swinging, sleeping with my man in the same room as people either watching or sleeping with their resepctive partners, but for me partner swapping is a no.
Unless my man wants another man while Im having another woman, but that wouldnt be in the same room either.
Lol xxx
as a couple we have dun a m ff 3sum and we really enjoyed it. we r happy to try others and more sums. weve had these fantsys through out the releationship and have wanted to try we think its best to talk and find sum 1 ur comfortable with first plus dont be pushy wat ur fantasy is may not be theres
I think, like most guys, I'd love the experiece of two or more women focusing their full attention on my sexually... I really doubt I could go through with it though.
At least Mrs Stefani and I are agreed on the subject of MMF 3somes, we're both a bit weirded out by it. I can watch it in porn (the Mrs can't, we have to skip MMF scenes), but I wouldn't be able to do it - the idea of pretty much touching another guy (e.g. in the case of DP) freaks me out, and the Mrs doesn't like the notion that the two guys might go at each other.
Mrs Stefani is more tolerant of MFF scenes, although we are both posessive of each other so introducing a second female into our sex life will make things awkward. For that reason we've started experimenting with toys for guys, and of course Mrs Stefani always has her rabbits, so she can almost experience a spitroast.
-CS
I think we're a bit like you CS. We wouldn't like another person there but an extra mouth for example, would be rather useful! Don't think we would like that it was attached to another person.