My man says I'm too timid so looking for some pointers
My OH was in a similar sort of position. She had abtendancy to overthink everything and as a result wasn't confident to try much.
What we found helped was one of those online sex questionaire, we used addsomefire. Its a site where you and your partner answer questions and you get results based on what you both answer in the positive for.
OH started by answering by things she was willing too do, rather than thought necessarily pleasurable and built on from there, as her confidence grew we retook the test and so on. We went from a pretty vanilla sex life to the point shes intrigued, if not turned on by most of this site...
Hope it helps and you get where you want to go :)
Have you always been timid or has something changed & you're feeling less confident, how long have you been together? Not bring nosey, just trying to find out a bit more so I can suggest things :-) ,x
Thanks for advice will definitely give this a go :)
Hey we have been together about a year. I guess I have and I'm always more confident after a few drinks but still probably hold back a little
The secret for me is to make myself feel sexy.....& if that's not working then I fake it lol! I used to be really timid & lacking in confidence until I met my ex who was big on complimenting me, looking back I think he knew I wasn't feeling great about myself & was patiently building me up. You could try something like sending your OH a cheeky pic while he's at work, doesn't have to be explicit just something a bit like my profile pic or your boob's in a bra that you like, he's bound to compliment you & a bit of flirting & teasing is a great way to make you feel sexy also builds some sexual tension throughout the day so you'll probably want to jump on him when he gets home lol! I think a few drinks is also good because you do lose some of your inhibitions, maybe just get a few things like massage oils & maybe a bullet, nothing too threatening to start with and just play together, the more your confidence builds the less timid you'll feel......ask him exactly what he'd like you to do, does he want you to make the 1st move or dress up for him or take the lead, if you find out what he wants then you can build yourself up to it. I'll never be totally confident, there's bits of me I don't like but I've learned to disguise those bits (my tummy is not my favourite part so I used to hate going on top but it can be hidden under a sexy babydoll top or a corset) there's ways round things you just need to pin point what it is that's stopping you from letting go & then find a solution, hope this helps :-) x
Thanks so much for the tips xx
I definitely think confidence in the bedroom routes from self-esteem and how you feel about yourself. If you're feeling rubbish about your body or your skills in the bedroom then it is hard to feel confident and this will come accross to your OH. Part of it is probably his doing as well..does he compliment what you're doing? Does he tell you what he enjoys and how he enjoys it? You're not going to feel confident about what you're doing unless he gives you that kind of feedback.
I know i certainly didn't with my ex because we never used to talk about what was good and how we liked it. This has completely changed with my now boyfriend and we are both very confident and happy with our sex life!
jr78 wrote:
The secret for me is to make myself feel sexy.....& if that's not working then I fake it lol!
I had the same advice and it's honestly really helpful - put on pretty lingerie trust me it can make you feel 100 times better! X