I didn’t really know what topic to put this under so that is why I put it into off topic.
So basically I am a size 18 and 5 ft 1 and I feel like I wouldn’t look good in lingerie. I also have a pear body shape so I feel like that makes me look bigger if that makes sense? I don’t really feel confident wearing lingerie as I feel like the guy thinks “oh no, she looks like a pig”. Does anyone have any advice? I’ve seen a lot of lingerie I like but I stop myself because the first thought is “I am too fat”.
@sharbur I’m a UK size 28 at the moment and have bought ‘sexy’ lingerie for the first time in my life in the last 12-18 months. It’s about how it makes me feel. I’m not happy with my body; don’t think many people are, but wearing the lingerie makes me feel sexy, attractive and powerful.
The most attractive thing a person can wear is confidence and a smile. I’m slowly learning this.
I started by dipping my toe in with bodystockings and now have all sorts!
You’re definitely not too “big” for lingerie.
(Also check out the lingerie upload thread and associated comments, full of positivity )
You are definitely not “too fat,” don’t ever think that! Also, though I am not the same size as you (I’m 4’11", size ~ 4, and also have a pear figure), I also felt unconfident wearing lingerie at first (as I have zero boobs and don’t like my stomach) but my OH assured me he loves me in it, as I think it’s the thought that counts more and the fact that you dressed in something special, not if it fits perfectly, etc. I definitely don’t think that’s what he’d think, he’d probably think “wow, she looks so hot” We are definitely not all models, and I agree with @MsSubExperimenter, confidence and rocking what you’re wearing can go miles, more than an idealized “perfect” look
I think by wearing the lingerie you will feel more confidence in yourself and I’m sure anyone seeing you it it will be “wow that is lovely” @MsSubExperimenter has given excellent advice regarding starting with a bodystocking as it partially covers up the areas your not confident with. From a man’s point of view, go for it
I’ve always been a big girl. I’m a size 22/24. Before I got with my husband, I literally have zero confidence, I wouldn’t even let him see me naked. When we had sex it was with my clothes on and lights off, and not let him touch me. It was all down to my really controling and very abusive ex, he would call me the most horrible names, say no one else will want me cos how my body looked. He would laugh at me while pointing. One day I had the courage to up and walk away. It took me a very long time to trust him and trusted that he does love me for who I am, now I can let him touch me, see me naked and not worry about him judging me. When I decided to wear sexy lingerie for him, he made me feel so sexy and good about myself and the confidence he’s given me too. @MsSubExperimenter has it spot on, I couldn’t of put better myself. Just go for it, the confidence you will get is an amazing feeling
@sharbur don’t think about yourself like that, there is no such thing as ‘too big’ for lingerie. We all come in different shapes and sizes, that’s what is beautiful about the human form. Please try and not be too hard on yourself, I think you should start with some positive self talk as your own thoughts are the only perception of you that truly matters.
We live in a society now with the internet and social media were it has become the norm to compare ourselves to others, young girls/women in particular, but we are not all of the people we see online modelling underwear/lingerie and it can be a very destructive way to view ourselves as a reflection of them. Your body is your own and is beautifully unique, and although you have your insecurities (you’re definitely not alone) there will be endless amounts of guys out there who would love to see you in lingerie.
My OH is also 5ft 1” and held a lot of the same hang ups early on thinking she was ‘too fat’, but I encouraged her to feel confident and sexy in whatever she wore, especially lingerie and that I chose her for her and if she looked ‘the same’ as everybody else then that would take away everything unique about her. @MsSubExperimenter and @rosiedosie put it perfectly and I think it’s a great idea to dip your toes with certain items, you should definitely take the leap and start on the forward path to feeling confident and empowered!!
I’m a size 20 and 5’10… I’ve grown into baby weight and I’m coming to terms with having to deal with my weight. Sex drive practically disappeared for a year before suddenly coming back last month, I’ve spent money on LH lingerie, there’s a set at the moment with high hip pants (crotch less to my surprise ) and they’re possibly the comfiest set of pants I own. I’ve bought another set and can’t wait for them to come, my husband is happy that I’m finally interested again and whatever clothes I’m wearing (wether it be an oversized T-shirt and joggers to stockings and frills) he’s happy. I hope you find your happiness but I was surprised at how nice the sets fit and how I felt with them on
You’re definitely not too big @sharbur, definitely check out the lingerie photo uploads and appreciation threads that @MsSubExperimenter linked to. There’s also a few threads on body confidence if you wanted to search for them. I was very conscious of my body too. I put on a lot of weight then I lost quite a bit of it and I just didn’t like the way my body looked after all the changes. I’m now feeling a little more confident although I’m not totally there yet. Look for things that emphasise the areas that you do like - you have great boobs (from your profile pic) so chose something that will show them off and I’m sure guys will be blown away! Lingerie should make you feel more confident and sexy, embrace your body and show it off!
I would try a few different styles to see what suits you best. I’m also a pear shape, 5’3, and size anywhere from 12-16 sometimes 18 on the bottom. I usually find babydolls a good option for covering areas that I’m not 100% confident with. High waisted knickers are a good idea as they offer a bit more coverage, and halterneck tops are very flattering for me. I often buy an extra pair of knickers with more coverage to wear with babydolls if they come with a thong since I find thrm more comfortable. Recently I’ve been a bit more adventurous and have found other things that I like too and have surprised myself that I feel confident in things I would never have considered before.
You can order a few options, try them on and send back any that don’t suit you as long as you don’t take the tags out. It will take a bit of trying things out to find out what suits you but don’t get disheartened if the first thing you buy doesn’t work for you.
My other tip for pear shapes and people who wear different sizes on the top and bottom is that one size lingerie is actually brilliant. I was very sceptical but it’s designed to fit a range of sizes so it doesn’t matter if you are bigger on the bottom than the top. Otherwise I find that bra sets either fit at the top or the bottom but rarely both!
You’re definitely not too big for lingerie There’s a whole lot to choose from so you might not find the perfect style straight away, like a lot of people have said it’s about you and how it makes you feel. Try looking for something for yourself without the intention of showing anyone, don’t think about what a guy is gonna say when he sees you in it, think about how you will feel wearing it yourself without the pressure of anyone else’s opinions, then if you don’t like you don’t have to show anyone and no pressure
You’re not too big at all! I’m a size 20 on the bottom and 22 ish on top and I’m 5ft 6. I carry all my weight in my stomach which hangs (sorry if too much info) and I think it looks disgusting but hubby loves it. I’ve only been buying lingerie for the last 6 months ish. I struggle to look at myself as sexy which I think alot of women (and men) do but I’m learning slowly to love myself. I’m never going to be stick thin buy I’ve accepted that and can only work with what I have!!
Smile, be confident and love your body. Xx
From a fashion stylist point of view I’d say your never too big for lingerie unless your on the extreme end of obese. It’s all down to choosing whats right for your body shape to compliment your best assets rather than wearing something that may go against it if that makes sense?!
I don’t think you can be too big for lingerie! There is something for everyone regardless of shape and size! I hope you find something you like and feel sexy wearing it (which I’m sure you will)
You are NEVER too big for lingerie! I’m an 18/20 and there’s plenty of uploaded pics in the gallery of me wearing lovehoney lingerie. I have cellulite on my upper thighs, I have the widest butt you’ll ever see and I have some jiggle jaggle on my belly after surgery. Does it stop me wearing lingerie? Absolutely not. Pick out all the things you like on your body, find lingerie that accentuates it and find items that hides stuff you’re not a fan of.
Ultimately, get yourself in a good head space and love yourself. We all have bad days and sometimes I think that I can’t find any lingerie that looks good on me. It might take a few tries of different styles from LH, but eventually you’ll find something that makes you feel awesome
As @MsSubExperimenter said, the sexiest thing you can wear im the bedroom is confidence. You will look great in lingerie, just look at the uploaded pictures or at the plus size models on the Lovehoney site. Go for it!
Agreed. Lingerie is for everyone.
Dont forget all the plus size models are 18+ too.
Im a 16top 18 bottom and was a bit shy about buying lingerie too (havent got anyone to wear it for) but half the fun is just wearing to feel sexy for yourself. Look through all the ones youve favourited, pick something you really love and try it. You can always return it if you feel it isnt for you.
Babydolls where a great first option for me, they’re floaty easy to put on and skim over the bits i feel self conscious about.
)
he definitely saved me. And I tell practically every day that I’m lucky to him 
Thankfully your relationship now seems very healthy and I can tell your husband loves you very much 
he’s the best thing to ever happen to me, I said to him you’re literally my knight in shining armour 
) and they’re possibly the comfiest set of pants I own. I’ve bought another set and can’t wait for them to come, my husband is happy that I’m finally interested again and whatever clothes I’m wearing (wether it be an oversized T-shirt and joggers to stockings and frills) he’s happy. I hope you find your happiness but I was surprised at how nice the sets fit and how I felt with them on
