I’m starting to go through my toy collection to get rid of ones I’m not going to keep anymore. I have a recycle box ready to chuck them in. No point in hanging on to them if they don’t spark joy or I have something better, right? My collection is ridiculous so it needs thinning out, haha. I’m surprised my ceiling hasn’t caved in with the weight of them under my bed.
Anyway, I thought I could make a thread in remembrance to toys that you have said goodbye to. But this isn’t just for toys you hated and binned or sent back to LH’s fiery furnace. It can also be a great toy that broke or something, which would earn a place in sex toy heaven instead of hell.
So where did your toys end up? How and why did it get there?
I received this as a tester item a while ago and never did think much of it. The shaft is slim and stiff which just comes off as uncomfortable to me. The ears are also pretty pokey like a demonic forked tongue (which is disappointing considering I’m into teratophilia). I have way better rabbits, so that’s why this one is getting ditched.
Flippy spinny thing, also known as the Tenga flip from quite a few years ago. I seem to recall not giving it a review as it was not that good, in fact it was no good. There has been additions to the product, not tried them nor will I.
A double ended purple vibe, barely used as once I received it the size scared the life out of me, it’s sat at the back of the wardrobe neatly wrapped.
When i bought it the thought of sex was far from my mind, never mind vibrators, certainly not double ended! (I don’t know why on earth I bought it, I didn’t know why it was double ended, I thought the ends would be different sizes so I could swap for girthier/longer when I’d had enough ) now I’m practically jumping on my husband at every opportunity I still doubt that it’ll ever see the light of day again
Toy: Rocks-Off Ignition Bullet Vibrator (discontinued on LH)
Bought it in a sale thinking it would be decent, but it was very temperamental. Got hot in use, wouldn’t hold a charge and mediocre vibes. I probably just received a faulty one. However, I later noticed in the reviews that other customers had the same issues and it has put me off buying other RO products. I thought the Basics Mini Vibrator was better than it and that costs next to nothing, haha.
@DanceswithPenguins - I know you mean. It puts you off the brand once you get something disappointing.
Destination:
This thing.
Received it as a tester and man did i struggled to test it. Its buzzy and super strong with only one speed. Giving a balanced review is really hard when you hate something for personal reasons i seriously struggled to use it once, let alone twice. That review was not my best piece of work, i really struggled to write it.
@Green_Eyed_Girl - I’m not a fan of buzzy toys either. Nothing worse than getting a tester item that you have to use a few times for a proper run knowing the session is gonna suck. If I’m not diving into bed with it, then there’s no way it’s getting more than 3 stars.
I have the original Squeel and liked it, although I never managed to orgasm from it (however it’s weird noise and sensation was great for using on blindfolded partners! And you could get different wheels for it which were fun too). Decided to give the Squeel Go a chance when it was on offer (many years ago) to see if it being smaller and rechargeable made a difference. It didn’t. Didn’t use it for a long time and when I came back to it, it wouldn’t charge.
Every time I see it reduced I always think should I get another one because it’s a lot of fun to tease with (and I’m much better at shushing the part of my brain that starts overthinking when I’m not getting close to orgasm in an appropriate time) but then I remember I’ve never had an orgasm from it and I barely used it.
Tiny little red butt plug that I bought when I was 18, it used to feel huge as I pushed it inside me, I often wondered how a penis would ever fit. In reality it was only about the size of a finger…
It was extremely well used, as in most days, some times more than once per day, but sadly after a short while was no longer up to the job and I needed something bigger, so off it went to sex toy heaven (wrapped in loo roll and put in a public bin as didn’t want to risk using the dustbin at home!) to be replaced with a trio of dildos in various lengths and girths.
Funny story, the middle one of the three became my favourite, it was just the right girth that it didn’t hurt too much to insert but it made me feel really stretched and full at the time, which I loved then and still do now. Sadly, a month or so later, after an amazing afternoon session whilst the house was empty, I washed it and placed it on a flannel which I then put on top of the toilet cistern whilst I used the loo. When I stood up and flushed the loo I must have knocked the dildo somehow, causing it to roll off in to the toilet bowl below, never to be seen again. I was still living with my parents at the time, so for weeks afterwards I was really paranoid there would be a blockage and my favourite green dildo would be found.
@Green_Eyed_Girl - Oh noes. Is it the glittery one? If so, I’ve only just bought it since it was 70%…and I like sparkly stuff. I must have been a crow in a past life Has it past the warranty date?
Noo! A watery grave. Straight to Davy Jones’ Locker
Yes, its that one. no idea on the warranty, but ive had it about 15 months. Cant find any of the paperwork for it so i havent a clue. Its one of my faves too.
@mikeormick wow, thats a story and a half. Such a Shame but at least it didn’t bung anything up. That would have been an awkward conversation
or 
) now I’m practically jumping on my husband at every opportunity I still doubt that it’ll ever see the light of day again
i seriously struggled to use it once, let alone twice. That review was not my best piece of work, i really struggled to write it.
Has it past the warranty date?
no idea on the warranty, but ive had it about 15 months. Cant find any of the paperwork for it so i havent a clue. Its one of my faves too.