My OH has never done a proper waxing. She is 32 ... I like it a bit hairy down there (landing strip to be precise) but I hate the actual a forest. I told her to go anywhere she find it comfortable and I'll pay for it, no problem at all. She still complains about how painful that is. I'm not asking to get a bare asshole as well, just a bit at the front. Is that really so painful if you've never done it?? Any advice about what to tell her to convince her ... Thanks !!!
Hello,
well, it can be painful - for some more than for others and some can survive more pain than others, but the private parts would be very painful and also it can cause irritated skin as well. The actual reaction varies from woman to woman. I have so sensitive skin, my skin would be likely burning for 2 weeks or more - but I have bad reaction to even shaving my legs and I am extreme, but lot of woman complain about irritated skin after shaving of depilating private parts. What I personally do is I use scissors to cut it short. If you cannot get her to do it (and it is her choice in the end), how about just cutting it short? At least as a first step. And my main advice is not to put too much pressure about it, she is risking pain and irritation, so the choice will have to be hers.
I get fully waxed every 4 weeks and have done so for the past three years (plus less regularly in the years before that). By fully waxed I mean that I get my legs done and a hollywood wax - everything off front and back. I've used several salons over the years so have a lot of experience with different waxers. I don't exactly find it a pleasant experience but its not particularly painful for me and I get on well with my current waxer so we have a good chat when I'm in. I know some women do find it very painful but there are ways to make it less so. There are also ways to reduce ingrown hairs but unfortunately a few will always be a fact of life if you wax.
There are several things that your OH can do to make it less painful:
- ONLY GO TO A SALON THAT USES HOT WAX for bikini lines. I've put that in capitals because it makes the biggest difference that I have noticed. Hot wax is wax that goes on and then hardens. It is pulled off in one go just by pulling on the hardened wax. This lifts all the hairs in that area straight out in one go. As hot wax pulls out the full hair folicle cleanly, it tends to produce less ingrowns. The wax should shrink around the hair (particularly if oil has been used) and it doesn't stick to the skin, hence less pain. The name "hot" wax is a bit of a misnomer as it isn't very hot, just a bit more than strip wax. I have had to ask waxers to turn the heat down sometimes as I have sensitive skin (and one inexperienced waxer burnt me...ouch!) but if you say as soon as you get there, they can turn it down and it cools to the right temperature for when they need it. Strip wax is the kind that is used normally on your legs etc. It is often put on with a wooden spatula (like a big lollypop stick) and then strips of material are used to stick to it and take it off. This works fine of less senstive areas but you shouldn't let it anywhere downbelow. It tends to stick to the skin and can pull the skin quite badly sometimes. It is simply a recipe for ingrown hairs and a very painful wax.
- Don't settle for a salon that uses hot wax for the "intimate bits" but strip wax for the rest of your bikini line. Hot wax is more expensive which is why this is offered sometimes but it is a real false economy. The pubic area (where strip wax would be used) is where you are likely to get the most ingrowns so you want to use hot wax here too.
- the waxer can use an oil first to prep the skin. The oil helps to ensure that the wax sticks to the hair and not the skin helping to reduce the pull on your skin and therefore the pain. This combined with hot wax makes for the most painfree wax.
- an experienced waxer. I can't emphasise enough that you want to go to someone that is experienced and knows what they are doing if at all possible. This does often mean paying quite a lot for a wax, but I think it is worth it many times over.
- don't wait a long time between waxes. The longer the hair sometimes the more painful it is. On the one occaision I missed a couple of weeks I trimmed the hair on the front before I went. I go every 4 weeks which works well for me, but many go every 5 weeks.
- keep on going regularly. After a while, you're hair stops growing from some folicles as much so there is less to pull out and it gets much better. I'm at this stage now so waxing is much easier (and quicker) for me.
- offer to help. I've often had waxers ask me to pull skin tight in an area. This helps the wax come off cleanly as it can't pull the skin so much. It does tend to mean that you have to pull your own bits out of the way and generally be ok feeling yourself in front of the waxer but it does greatly reduce pain in some areas. I reckon that if they're taking the hair off all my intimate parts, they've kind of seen it all already haven't they ;) Some waxers don't automatically ask you to do this so offer if you want to and, particularly if you explain why, I'm sure they will be happy to direct you where to pull and hold.
- try different salons and waxers if you are not happy with your current one. Experience makes a big difference so don't settle for one just because you feel bad going to someone else.
- moisturise and exfoliate. If you moisturise between waxes it helps to keep your skin supple and helps to stop the wax sticking to your skin. Exfoliating helps reduce ingrowns (less likelyhood of the waxer needing to use tweasers to get any out)
If you're other half does get ingrowns, this may be putting her off as well. I've found the best thing to avoid them is to use a mild exfoliating wash (I use a face one with tea tree oil in it) and moisturise regularly. You can also get gels which you use once a day and I have had some success with those when I've had a bad wax. With those, the best thing is to try a few until you find one that works for her.
Overall, I think Laveila is right when she says that your OH has to want to get waxed. However, if she does, the above might help make it a bit less of an unpleasant experience.
Scarlot's point of not going when its her time of month is a really good one and one that I forgot. The couple of days before and after can be quite tender.
Never had a waxing down there, but I shave it every day. After a while the skin sort of changes and becomes more like ordinary skin.
Perry Mason wrote:
My OH has never done a proper waxing. She is 32 ... I like it a bit hairy down there (landing strip to be precise) but I hate the actual a forest. I told her to go anywhere she find it comfortable and I'll pay for it, no problem at all. She still complains about how painful that is. I'm not asking to get a bare asshole as well, just a bit at the front. Is that really so painful if you've never done it?? Any advice about what to tell her to convince her ... Thanks !!!
It is painful and afterwards can take a few days to settle down. Especially the first few times or if it's a long time between waxings.
Why not lead by example? If you get it done it might encourage her. Don't forget each persons pain threshold is different.
It can be incredibly painful... Why don't you get it done and experience it for yourself?
And there are other ways to keep yourself trimmed and even bare down there other than waxing. She can use trimmers and shave. Some people can't stand the thought of waxing because of their pain theshold..
"She still complains about how painful that is. I'm not asking to get a bare asshole as well, just a bit at the front. Is that really so painful if you've never done it?? Any advice about what to tell her to convince her ..."
I think you should respect her wishes to not to. Yes, you may let her know of your preference but it's her choice. I advice buying those trimming kits where you can make shapes etc. Also, to shave instead of she so wishes.
If she has a forest down there, trim it first with scissors, do it yourself - it always leads to great sex. Then she can go for a wax. Not to bothered myself, like ladies natural - and would I do it on my balls? Nooooooooooooooooo :D
Janny wrote:
If she has a forest down there, trim it first with scissors, do it yourself - it always leads to great sex. Then she can go for a wax. Not to bothered myself, like ladies natural - and would I do it on my balls? Nooooooooooooooooo :D
The main problem is, some people call forest even trimed woman, as they want her there without any hair.
As many have said, waxing can be very painful, especially the the pubic area.
It is her choice, if she wants to get waxed then encourage her, if she doesn't, then its not right to force her.
Also, as others have said, get waxed yourself. You will be able to tell how painful it is, you will lead by example and it is generally much nicer to give oral to someone who is smooth, both man and woman.
If you are not willing to get waxed, then don't expect her to.
never waxed myself, dont think i ever could either, i just shave
MasqueradeMinx wrote:
As many have said, waxing can be very painful, especially the the pubic area.
It is her choice, if she wants to get waxed then encourage her, if she doesn't, then its not right to force her.
Also, as others have said, get waxed yourself. You will be able to tell how painful it is, you will lead by example and it is generally much nicer to give oral to someone who is smooth, both man and woman.
If you are not willing to get waxed, then don't expect her to.
This.
How about using Veet instead? Or any other hair removal cream.
It's her choice at the end of the day.. All you can do is express your feelings.
MasqueradeMinx wrote:
As many have said, waxing can be very painful, especially the the pubic area.
It is her choice, if she wants to get waxed then encourage her, if she doesn't, then its not right to force her.
Also, as others have said, get waxed yourself. You will be able to tell how painful it is, you will lead by example and it is generally much nicer to give oral to someone who is smooth, both man and woman.
If you are not willing to get waxed, then don't expect her to.
I'll second that too.
I get a full hollywood once a month, I don't find it that painful anymore and the woman I go to is brilliant! I'm moving soon so I'm going to have to find a new experienced intimate waxer - any recommendations for the Glasgow area?
MrsPink doesn't wax and I like her bushy lady bits. On the other hand, I prefer to be hair-free myself so I epilate right down to the top of my penis and then shave below, including the sac. As I epilate my whole body (took a while to get there with a combination of having and epilating) I also exfoliate - quite simply by having a good rub with a flannel in the shower and a good rub with a towel afterwards. I've tried various exfoliating scrubs and they don't work any better for me.
Plenty of moisturiser and then my legs, particularly, are most attractive to MrsP. She doesn't like to see me doing all the work but likes the end result. Incidentally, I switched from shaving to epilating to avoid having stubble that irritated my wife in various places ...
I had my first Brazilian Wax last night, they used Hot Wax as 'Openmindedcouple' mentioned, yes it hurts, but it looks and feels great after. But everyones pain threshold is different, so you need to find whats best for you.
Waxing down there hurts like a bitch! Even with all the oils and powders.... OUCH!
I'm an extremely hairy block (luckily my OH likes that) Hats of to those who wax though.....I'm just too much of a coward!
Perry Mason wrote:
My OH has never done a proper waxing. She is 32 ... I like it a bit hairy down there (landing strip to be precise) but I hate the actual a forest. I told her to go anywhere she find it comfortable and I'll pay for it, no problem at all. She still complains about how painful that is. I'm not asking to get a bare asshole as well, just a bit at the front. Is that really so painful if you've never done it?? Any advice about what to tell her to convince her ... Thanks !!!
I'm sure your message didn't read how you actually meant it but just in case it did..
Would you tell her what clothes to wear? What colour to have her hair? would you tell her to get her lip pierced just because you like it? You wouldn't probably although you might suggest you really enjoy it when she has her hair red or wears a skirt but I doubt most people would tell their OH's to do something.So why have the attitude that your not asking her to have everything off, just a little bit, on an issue thats far more intimate?
It's painful yes, it feels good once its done yes but things can and do go wrong albeit rarely. Hair folicles can get ingrown hairs, they can then get infected, abcesses can form, antibiotics aren't guarrenteed to clear them up so then its a trip to hospital to have them drained under anasthetic. Not pleasant, in fact its highly painful and I know from experience. Like I say its rare but possible.
Apart from the possible after effects theres simply the fact she doesn't want it done. I don't think pain is an excuse, its a reason. Maybe there are other resons too, maybe she doesn't like the way it looks, doesn't want someone else messing around that area etc. You could ask if she had thought about other methods of hair removal, maybe you will get a better response to that. At the end of the day though it is her choice and you really shouldn't put any pressure on her beyond finding out what her reasons for her choice were otherwise you run the risk of pushing her away. I still deal with my hair despite my bad experiences but if my OH told me he liked me with less hair and told me to go anywhere I felt comfortable and he would pay I would just think he didn't fancy me the way I was and withdraw a bit if he kept bringing it up.
If it was the other way round and she asked you to get a wax but you didn't want to for any reason, would you?
haha somewhere on here theres a get story someone put up about how they accidentally got stuck to the bath in a waxing accident. it's here as well http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/humor-comedy/now-very-funny-waxing-story-read-43859.html
My first thought was, you are being ungrateful not being happy with her body, when she is choosing to share with you. If you can't see the wood for the trees maybe you should stand back and get some perspective... lol. You could offer to get waxed at the same time as penance. A back, sac and crack would do nicely. We all have our personal preferences.
Waxing doesn't work for everyone. My hairs are so fine they snap off rather than pull out and I'm left with stubble. Plus all that pain was for nothing. For a sexy evening in you could use a beard trimmer on her (the vibrations can make a girl very horny) then finish off with a shave or some hair removal cream, and lots of sex.