Hello fellow love bunnies, I have a question for you all:
What is it like to be pregnant? I'm personally currently too young and unstable to have kids but I've been thinking of what it would be like since I was about *removed byu moderator* and sometimes I get massive urges to have a baby. I just know that they would be what I cherish the most so I felt like asking this question.
Was it hard?
Did you love them straight away? Even while you were pregnant?
Did you see it as a negative thing? Even slightly?
This is directed towards mothers, fathers and soon to be mums and dads.
Post your experience! :)
I got pregnant accidentally so I panicked a lot at first. I was on my own, the father wasn't interested and was not very helpful when it came to making a decision on whether I wanted the baby or not (things you definitely have to think about when you were in a situation like I was - unhealthy place to live, temporary job, just not settled) so I took a while to really make a decision.
I was very, very sick. The myth is that pregnancy sickness tends to last the first trimester and then it goes away but I must have been one of the unlucky ones as I was sick all the time. Right down until the day I gave birth. Was a nightmare, especially while I was working because I worked in a call centre.
I saw it as negative at first because I didn't think I could support the baby, especially not on my own without a job and a proper place to live. I just took it step by step at first and eventually decided that I'd figure something out and kept the baby.
After that I started to think more positively and the bigger they get the more attached you get to them. Not long after I found out the sex she had a nickname so I started to have something to call her. And when she started kicking - even though it got more painful towards the end - it's still a feeling that I miss. Just in general I felt closer to the baby than I have to anyone.
I got really big for someone so small so after a while the weight got really painful, much more so when the braxton hicks started. I couldn't even walk a 10 minute walk without being in agony.
I had a good childbirth though. No complications even though she was a big baby. I was scared of giving birth at first with all the horror stories you hear, but it really isn't as scary as people make it out to be.
I feel I made the best decision too. My daughter is now 9 months old and I couldn't be in a better situation - we have the house, I have a permanent job and she has the best daddy I could ever ask for.
Nice to see you back kittenfeatures!
I'm gonna be honest with you here TheInvisibleTester. We tried for a long time for a baby. We were so desperate to get pregnant then after we pretty much gave up I fell pregnant. I hated pregnancy. Everyone was always so thrown by the fact I didn't enjoy being pregnant. I loved that I was going to have a baby but there was very little food I could eat without feeling sick. My hips and pelvis were dislocating to a point I needed crutches and a brace. I was in so much pain, I couldn't enjoy pregnancy. I loved the kicking though!
Labour was fine with my first but with my second the placenta ruptured and we took a bad turn. My husband was terrified, he nearly lost us both.
I loved both my babies straight away but got a case of PND with my first. We had tried for so long I was terrified she was going to die. Thankfully I got treatment.
Its a tough "job", money is always tight but I love being a mum. I'm good at it. Having a baby is a massive responsibility, I've suffered depression since my teens and it doesn't have any negative effect on my kids but boy I it stressful!
One thing that makes me a little sad is I never got to travel the world. I would have loved to but I made my choice and I am happy.
I fell pregnant when i was 18 with a man i thought i loved. But as soon as i fell pregnant he became a total twat. Someome i never knew. He was so violent im surprised i even got the chance to met my beautiful baby. I love him from the minute i saw them tiny little hands on my first scan. He was mine and was loved with everything i had. I did it on my own & nothing was ever going to get in the way. It was the most beautiful moment in my whole life. Yes i was young and stupid bu i would change it. Hes now 6 and is my best friend. We have grown up together and hes taught me so much.
He was 18 months old and i met the man of my dreams. Hes brought up my beautiful boy as his own. Hes my rock.
When he was 4 we starting trying for another & i fell pregnanr a year later with his little sister. We was over the moon. And our family was complete. Dont get me wrong its been hard. We was skint 24/7. The house was a mess. And he couldnt do no right. I went off sex and tbh felt a little grumpy. But we did it.
Shes now nearly 2 and hes almost 7. They are my world and i would do it again in a heart beat. Being a mother is just the best job in the world. A love for your child is insain!
Im sure one day you will have your own perfect story to tell.
What's it like to be pregnant? In a word- horrible!
Was it hard?
Yes! I've no fear of a second labour, but put me to sleep for the entire pregnancy please...awful for me! I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum and Symphysis pubis dysfunction, both of which I have been assured could well return in a subsequent pregnancy. Ugh! So much sickness, so much pain. Not to mention all the little discomforts all pregnancies will come with like being too warm, too cold, never comfortable, the need to pee, hard to sleep, fatigue, itchiness, all that sort of thing. Not a nice way to spend 9 months. Or the year or so afterwards trying to get your body back on an even keel and get past PND. Not that my pelvic pain has gone yet, and it's been years now. Very hard both physically and emotionally for me.
Did you love them straight away? Even while you were pregnant?
I don't know. The circumstances leading to my pregnancy were not what you would call ideal. I knew abortion was an option, everyone was waiting for my word. I didn't want the pregnancy or the act that led to it to happen to me, plus being a teenager and drowning in mental health problems is hardly good timing, but from the moment I found out I was expecting I knew I wanted the child and felt that maternal instict/bond. I was so numb though I didn't properly feel the whole rush of love thing till after my child was born, though I never didn't love him if that makes sense. Obviously I love him now and feel it was all worth it!
Did you see it as a negative thing? Even slightly?
Absolutely. I don't think pregnancy is something that should be so romanticised, nor should women be expected to put up with it all in silence or 'glow' and be the most happy creature in the world. Yes, it's wonderful to be expecting. Yes, there's lots of good parts too (like the kicks, except when they hit the wrong organs of course). But it's hard and more so, it's hard to be taken seriously-especially by the medical professionals that are supposed to help you.
I wouldn't get pregnant again, even if I could. It terrifies me. The whole 9 months then more than likely the PND again? I'd honestly rather adopt than put myself through that again if we are ever in a position to expand our little family, I wouldn't be in a fit state physically or mentally to care for the child I have or keep my relationship healthy so feel it would be pretty wrong for me to get pregnant again. No regrets over the first pregnancy and of course it was absolutely worth it, but I couldn't put me or my family in the position of having to deal with it again! For me motherhood=good, pregnancy=bad.
I always wanted children and that moment when I first realised I was pregnant was so amazing and all those months of feeling that baby growing inside and actually seeing the shape of little feet pressing through my stomach as he kicked is indescribable ( I used to lie in the bath and watch him ) .
However , the pregnancy sickness I suffered from was just awful, it went on all day ,every day till I was 5 months gone . I can't honestly say I've never felt so ill, it's no joke to be throwing up 15 to 20 times a day ! I had to be hospitalised for a few weeks in my last pregnancy because it was so bad ! But although it was awful I've got 3 kids because that maternal urge for babies was so strong I just knew I could cope with it .
Luckily my labours were very quick and straightforward even though they were all pretty big babies and I bonded straightaway .
I can still remember how I felt when I held my newborn babies for the first time ,even down to the smell of their little damp heads straight after the birth will stay with me forever . Even though we didn't have a lot of money I don't ever regret having my children and when I look at them now ,all grown up I'm so proud of them .
I'm still currently pregnant with just over 9 weeks left before I get to meet my little one. So far though I've quite enjoyed being pregnant, compared to some people's experience mine has been great and I can only hope future pregnancies will be this good. I had a little bit of nausea on and off throughout the first trimester but never actually vomited so nothing really to complain about. The main problem in the first trimester for me was tiredness, I was just exhausted the whole time which made work quite hard. Second trimester was a dream. My hair got healthier, my nails got stronger and I started to get a little bump and really bloom. I had a little bit of a wobbly week or two were I just cried pretty much constantly but thankfully that passed. Now in third trimester it's not been too bad, I've been feeling quite tired again a lot of the time, bump is getting heavy and sleeping uncomfortable but I can't really complain too much. The worst thing has been the heat over the summer and it's not even that warm really! The prospect of labour and birth terrifies me a little but I just keep thinking of how I'll finally get to see and touch those little fingers and toes and that little nose that I saw on the scan. I could watch and 'play' with my moving bump all day. I definitely feel a bond already with him and have loved him from that first early scan where he was just a little blob with a beating heart. Watching and feeling him grow has been amazing.
Perhaps going through labour will completely change my mind on all this and make me say never again lol but for now my experience with pregnancy has great. :)
I am with Lorah in that I didn't find pregnancy too
bad. I felt like it went pretty smoothly for me. About five weeks in I started feeling nauseous and did have occasional morning sickness. I was pregnant over the Autumn /winter so I was actually fairly comfortable and found this a good season to be pregnant. I did get some hip pain but I think I have slightly dodgy hips anyway?? My father had to have a hip replacement at 61 and his father had a hip replacement too so I'm guessing I've inherited the crappy joints.
But I digress...the other drawback of being pregnant was needing to pee a lot more often, and the limited sleeping positions. I'd read that lying on the left side was the best position for the mothers organs and for baby too. The tiredness was a bit annoying too in the first and last trimesters. But the positive things were great hair, skin and slightly bigger boobs. I loved seeing my little girl in her scans and giving her nicknames as she grew. I had been told in my 20-week scan that my placenta was lying a bit low so they wanted to rescan at 36-weeks. I never actually made it that far into the pregnancy as at 31 weeks and 4days my waters spontaneously broke in a bit of a dramatic evening (I'd locked us out the house accidentally by leaving keys on inside of front door on our way out!) Ironically we were going to buy stair gates!!
My little girl arrived within the next 8hours and had to be rushed to NICU but luckily we were in Addenbrookes and the care they gave my daughter was 2nd to none.
It was hard going home without my baby as I was discharged the afternoon after I'd given birth. For the next 6-weeks I made daily trips to NICU to spend time with my daughter and pump milk for her. I did find that pretty tough especially having to pump milk which I felt a bit pressurised to do from my OH and myself to be honest. I actually put to much pressure on myself as I got frustrated with the measly amount I was expressing...about 20ml in about 30mins of pumping from a breast. I actually started hand expressing and was far too vigorous and I've now got issues with wrist pain from that and the actions of lifting my daughter into her high chair/pushchair/car seat. I've been seeing an osteopath since September though sporadically but I've had about 10-12 treatments. The treatment was initially for my right wrist but I developed the same issue in my left wrist so need further treatment for that. I've also been referred for physio and will have my first appointment with them next week. I had to wait 8-9 weeks from seeing my GP to getting the letter from physio dept.
In terms of actual motherhood, I love my daughter, she is fantastic, but I do feel that having a child and an exuberant dog has been tricky at times. My OH has had uncertainty around the future of his job most of this year which has put a strain on our relationship at times. I've come to the decision that I don't want more children as I'm already mid thirties and my OH is nearly 40 so I don't feel we have the energy to go through it all again. Plus I'd rather give my daughter all my attention than have to spread it between her and possible siblings.
I fell pregnant far too easily in some respects. We got pregnant first time. We were thrilled as we'd decided we wanted to start trying, so in that respect we were incredibly lucky.
Being pregnant and being a mum was and is a good experience for me, though with my history of depression I wouldn't want to jeopardise my daughters health and well being by having more children. There are days when I feel like I don't want to sing the wheels on the bus again!! But everything she does warms my heart, as she is such a happy child so I guess I must be dong something right 😹😝
I fell pregnant pretty much straight away when we started TTC, I was 21 at the time and 22 when I gave birth. Like Luv Bunny, I didn't make it to the end of my pregnancy as I gave birth at 32+6 after my waters spontaneously ruptured at 30+3 weeks. My little guy spent 3 weeks in hospital, but only to learn how to feed, luckily he was fine in all other respects!
Was it hard?
Hell yeah! I expected pregnancy to be beautiful and wonderful, and in a lot of ways it was, but it was incredibly difficult. I had symphis pubis dysfunction from 18 weeks onwards, which made it very painful to walk, climb the stairs, get dressed, get in/out the car, everything really! I would wince in pain trying to roll over in bed. 😣 I also had bad sickness between 5-25 weeks. Then you have all the regular pregnancy ailments, such as back pain, tiredness, constant peeing, insomnia etc, and of course I suffered PPROM so that made things very hard.
I was so anxious throughout my pregnancy as I had miscarried a few months before, and that wasn't helped by the fact that I had an anterior placenta which blocked a lot of my baby's movements. It was scary and I'd often find myself at the hospital for reassurance if I hadn't felt him move. When I did feel him though, it was the most amazing feeling ever, I miss it a lot. And I absolutely loved my big beautiful baby bump! That was the most confident I had ever been in my life, I loved my pregnant body. Now that I've had my son I do actually miss being pregnant!
Did you love them straight away? Even while you were pregnant?
At first I found it hard to bond with my unborn baby, because I was so terrified of miscarrying again that I sort of distanced myself from it. But when I found out I was having a little boy it really hit me and I loved him to pieces. 😄
When he was born it wasn't what I expected though. As he was premature he was taken straight to the neonatal unit and I had to wait almost 2 hours to go and see him. When I did see him I felt a bit disconnected, as if he wasn't my baby, but I think that was the shock of the birth and the fact that I hardly saw him afterwards. It took a couple of days for the rush of love to truly kick in, doing lots of skin to skin helped when I was allowed to get him out of his incubator. He's 5 months old now and he's my absolute world, I've never loved anything or anyone more. 💙
Did you see it as a negative thing? Even slightly?
Never ☺️ Raising a baby is really hard work, much harder than I ever imagined, but even in the hard times I've never wished him away or felt negative about having him, he brings me joy even in darkness. Despite having a difficult and complicated pregnancy I never felt negative about that either. I'd definitely do it all over again 😀
I knew right away, even those tests showed positive around 7 weeks only. Heart burn and being tired.
I was very happy, pregnancy worked better than any anti depressant I've ever taken if I'm honest.
pregnacy is different for every women, my OH had full term morning sickness so hated every minute of being pregnant. She said it was like a 9 out 10 hangover constantty. Some of her friends felt fine and loved it.
We had some NCT classes and i thought they overglamerised child birth, it was the biggest killer of women a 100 years ago. All i can say is thank god for modern medical care otherwise my OH would not have survived if she lived 100 years ago. Medical care we got on the NHS was out of this world. I blubbed for 5 mins after both of mine were born.
Well some of my mates had to be pushed into having kids but i was always well up for it, we had fertility problems so it was more a relief and elation when we found she was pregnant as we thought it would never happen. To be honest the first 6 months is really really hard unless you have an angel baby so there were times i thought what have we done. But i would never go back to my old life, best thing i have done.
It feels like your body is not your own. Looking back on it I felt annoyed that people felt thry could touch my belly / rub my belly and ask me intimate and personal questions like somehow it was ok becasue I was pregnant.
I had a very tramatic delivery, frankly I dont go into detail because I dont share things here that personally identify me and every experience for every woman is different but my advice to others is to really understand that your pregnancy and delivery could have problems and what are you going to do to deal with that.
Be prepared for Post Natal Depression,,, that shit is real.
Oh and your body NEVER goes back to the way it was before. Forget the Hollywood photos and maybe you will be lucky but even when i lost the wieght it did not land in the same areas of my body. I recommend women get to their ideal wieght and are as healthy as possible before conceiving if you can.
Stretch marks are not something you can prevent with any cream or potion.
Hormones are a crazy thing, my hair feel out in clumps after i had my baby. I had pregnancy acne and the worst mood swings. Have a good support system around you if you can becuase there will be times whilst pregnant and post delivery you will need people who love you uncomditionally.
I didn't glow... I got fat.
I could keep going on and on, but at the end of the day I love my child more than anything. My heart grew when my child was born and I feel blessed to be a mum. I know not everyone is so lucky. My advice it to make your decision to have a child when you feel you can provide the most stability and if you find yourself pregnant and feeling unprepared ask for help.
My first was definitely a accident as I was under the legal age anyway but my second I wanted but my oh didn't... I loved being pregnant with the bump and the kicks watching the toes pop out the side of my stomach 😀 Hearing the heartbeat is amazing and for me the labours were easy and I was calm . My second didn't even let me settle in the hospital for 4 minutes before she flew out with 2 tiny pushes, all the mile stone and watching your children grow and learn daily is incredible. I'd have aload more if I could . Xx
Ktg24, just so you know you can't talk about experiences under the age of 18 on the forums as this breaks rule number 9. Life at Lovehoney starts at 18 :)
Oh I didn't say the age so does it still imply rule breaking? I'm new so don't know much xx
Both of mine were planned so I felt somewhat prepared...ha! That lasted until my first was born, then I was left thinking what the hell am I supposed to do with this?! 😂
Pregnancy is a different experience every time, it's kind of pot luck really as to how you handle it and what side effects you get. I had awful sickness with my first, but thankfully that only lasted 10wks, some poor women have to deal with it the whole 9months!
Being pregnant is simultaneously the best and worst experience going. You basically have this little parasite sucking you dry and then it destroys your vagina or demands to exit via your tummy instead and I can't imagine how hard that is for recovery and you're expected to love and care for this little thing who's heartbeat made you cry and gave you enough heartburn to fuel a dragon fire and made little flutters in your tummy then kicked you in the bladder.
Growing a new human is amazing, but dear god it takes sacrifice.
I found birth wasn't half as bad as some women made out, but again it's all circumstantial! Mine were both natural, straight forward, no problems. I have a higher pain threshold than I realised. Depends on your attitude too, if you go in there worked up then it will hurt more, go in calm and relaxed and it's not so bad. And then you get this smushed up purple turnip head baby covered in blood and gunk put on you and you think it's the most beautiful thing to ever grace the earth, and so many women say they feel this huge rush of love, leaving those of us like myself, who didn't experience that, feeling like we're malfunctioned before we've really even begun! But it comes, maybe not straight away but it does. When my second arrived, I remember taking him home and looking at him and saying, "what is that?".
But it's all worth it in the end. All the stress and sleepless nights, the destabilising mind, constantly questioning yourself, the wreckage of a body you're left with, worth it. Kids are hilarious 😂
+1 to Violet Wolf, I felt horrendously guilty when I didn't feel the rush of love that everyone told me to expect, it does take a few days to build for some people and now I know that there's nothing wrong with that. It made me feel like a bad mum at the time.
Also, giving birth really isn't as bad as I expected either. Labour is hard work and the contractions are more intense than I thought they'd be (my labour was very quick so I hardly got a break in between contractions, and my LO was back to back), but I managed without any pain relief until 8-9cm (then I had gas and air) so it was bearable. Giving birth is easier than being in labour I think! I ditched the gas and air when it was time to push, I found my contractions didn't hurt as much while I was pushing because I was working with my body if that makes sense, whereas beforehand they wouldn't let me push when I was feeling the urge & intense pressure, I had to wait ages for a doctor to come and check me first! 🙄 I found the pressure on my back and bum to be the worst part of labour, it's an indescribable feeling! It's an amazing experience though, I feel so lucky that I was able to have a natural delivery. Proudest moment of my life 😊