Well I think my one is one of the best, I was having sex with my girlfriend and the laptop was on the bed and some how my exs facebook profile came up on the screen, I was behind my gf and she hadn't seen because her head was down and her eyes were closed, so I had two options, carry on and hope she didn't notice or tell her (I couldnt close the laptop because it was right by her head) well I didn't really have a choice but to stop because I "died" let's say, we did have a good laugh about it though
lol! That's brilliant. Just your ex staring at you while you get jiggy with it. That would put me right off too! Bless ya xx
unwanted wind
Gentle giant wrote:
unwanted wind
I second this post..... it can be very funny however lol
Snapped banjo, wasn't fun !
During the really hot spell of weather we were having, we were getting a little jiggy with it.. and I passed out. Flat cold. I just sort of collapsed in a little heap, and next thing, the OH is throwing a glass of water over me.
My oh once pushed a bit too hard on a butt plug :O
Safe to say I go for things with a large base now!
It wasn't during sex but once I was giving an ex a blow job and he farted, it smelt so bad I brought my head up so quick I cracked him on the chin...blood everywhere. lol
Once the dog got in the room and tried to join in. My ex wasn't that impressed with a randy dog at his bum
I broke my Cock.
Also meant I missed an rem concert
I was sleeping with a girl as a casual thing (basically she'd come round after clubbing if she couldn't be bothered going home) she used to keep her phone to hand and once during the act we accidently leant on the phine (under the pillow) and itphoned the last number she dialled...it happened to be her Dad : )
Little Strummer Boy wrote:
I was sleeping with a girl as a casual thing (basically she'd come round after clubbing if she couldn't be bothered going home) she used to keep her phone to hand and once during the act we accidently leant on the phine (under the pillow) and itphoned the last number she dialled...it happened to be her Dad : )
pmsl sll this is classic. Did he hear it all?
Citygirl2810 wrote:
Little Strummer Boy wrote:
I was sleeping with a girl as a casual thing (basically she'd come round after clubbing if she couldn't be bothered going home) she used to keep her phone to hand and once during the act we accidently leant on the phine (under the pillow) and itphoned the last number she dialled...it happened to be her Dad : )
pmsl sll this is classic. Did he hear it all?
I sort of stoped when i heard a strange man's voice...he seemed concerned...I just wanted to shout out...she's fine, but im currently inside of her...
Snapped banjo string, the night we got engaged (he thought it would be funny to write to dear dedrie at the sun about it, yes it was published!)
Also hubby smeared lotion all over his bits without me knowing, so I go down and straight back up lol looking a bit confused. Hubby points to the bottle. It was fake tan!!!! Ha ha ha. Hubby's best man told that story in his speech at our wedding. My dad didn't look impressed :/ x
Love these stories!
The fake tan one reminds me of the time my ex shaved his balls and I thought it would be a nice treat to massage some body lotion onto them while I gave him a ...hand.
Anyway, 2 minutes later he was in the bathroom....balls in a sink of water, splashing them with tears in his eyes. His balls looked like two tomatoes. I guess he reacted to the perfume in the lotion.
We did not finish that night. Oops! Lesson here is: USE LUBE FOR THE JOB!
Caught having sex by a friend of ours. Very embarassing to this day
Snapped banjo string, My OH is very squeemish so seeing the blood almost made her faint, So here I am trying to clean myself and the bed up while trying to stop her from fainting.
I felt like fainting by the end of it. :P
I only just worked out that you guys weren't actually talking about real banjos. I was thinking it was strange the amount of banjo players here...lol
MissTig wrote:
I only just worked out that you guys weren't actually talking about real banjos. I was thinking it was strange the amount of banjo players here...lol
Me too! 
MissTig wrote:
I only just worked out that you guys weren't actually talking about real banjos. I was thinking it was strange the amount of banjo players here...lol
Haha, I had to look it up at first too! I had a feeling it meant that though.