hi, iv been with my partner for just over 2years, we started off long distance and towards the end of last year, i finally up sticks with my daughter, and moved 250miles to be closer to him. in all my other previous relationships, id been cheated on, one of the reasons i left my daughters dad, so i found it quite hard to trust him. after 2 years, and a massive argument ruining xmas over him going out for a drink with his ex, and saying he did not want to lie about it as he had nothing to hide, i got funny about it , so his attitude then was that he may aswell do anything as i dont trust him etc,
anyway, he got so angry with me that we just got on over xmas for the sake of my daughter we decided to keep going but he didnt really care for the relationship, tho as far as i knew it wasnt over.
so, after getting back on track, and finally deciding to just get over my past problems and fully trust him, i tonight have just found out he 'done stuff' with a close friend who i said at the beggining of the relationship if he had any feelings towards her which his reply was no.
i dont want to know what went on, tho reading his texts one of them said from her 'i quite like being your bit on the side'.
i want to kill this woman as clearly im totally heartbroken after finally accepting he wouldnt do anything to hurt me as he knows this was a majour thing for me.
i dont really know how to feel about it as part of me feels it was my fault. im seething inside and absolutly heartbroken, iv change and moved my world for this guy and worship the ground he works on. i just dont know what to do... give him a second chance after he proved me right by cheating??? or leave him. any help is welcomed. thank you xx
Give him the boot. He knew all about your trust issues and did it anyway.
Don't fret over it, just dump his ass. You moved cities - so what? There's worser things to do, you could have married him!
If where you've moved to is worse than your home town (does your daughter get a better education here?) then consider moving back but otherwise just suck it up and carry on with life. Us woman are damn good at it.
Leave him. No two ways about it. You are depriving yourself of someone who can care for you and treat you well. Love is blind and although it's hard once you are comfortable in a relationship and with a person, if you don't use this as an excuse to get out of it now, it will be much harder later on when he does it again xxx
I'm so so sorry this has happened to you babes iv been there myself it's not easy my heart goes out to you it truly does
Only you can deside what is right for you and your little girl
if this betrail was a one off it could be easier to forgive but as the txt used the fraise "bit on the side" it seems they had discussed your relationship and deside to have an affair anyway which would suggest he doesn't care for you as much as you care for him
In my opinion he is not worth the tears or heart ache you and your little girl deserve so much more
I would leave him if I was you. You are giving so much of yourself while he is just stepping on you and does absolutely nothing to improve the relationship. I have been in the same situation where it is hard to let go but if you keep on being with that guy, it'll just make everything worse. And for your daughter, I don't know how old she is but if she is still a child then it's also not good for her to see what you are going through. It even ruined the Christmas and that's not fair for anyone of you. You should more use the energy on yourself and your daughter because that guy really doesn't seem to care and only thinks about his own needs.
And if you decide to leave him and he starts to be angry, then let him be angry. He only reacts like that to make you feel uncomfortable and maybe even feel guilty about your decision in hope that you would change your mind. I know it sound rough but it's not fair that you have to waste energy and time on that kind of man.
So be strong dear, you deserve better than a man who doesn't know how to appreciate a woman’s love. I hope you'll get out of that situation soon. Believe in yourself. xxx
Sorry hun I've had a simular situation my oh an I were long distance. An there was this friend of his that always would phone n text him all the time even when he was with me an I always never liked her even tho I never met her anyway. He was at a party an god very drunk an let her have her way with him he told me a few months later when I was preg with our 1st son. I chose to try an get past it it wasn't easyan took me a very long time to trust but we managed to an have now been together 6 years an just had our 2 son 5 months ago you need to give ourself sometime to think an do wants best for you an your daughter
Betrayed hurt sad angry confused in a daze ,feelings I went through when I caught my boyfriend cheating on me I am not speaking about my oh now but a previous boyfriend I caught him in bed with his work collegue,I had suspected the affair and used to ask him if he was ,its all in your head he would says I love you .So when I finally found out the truth my first thought was I was right I should have gone with my gut feelings but I put my trust in him even if I did at times feel doubt.To cut a long story short we split up I left him to get on with it the other woman that is .Three months later he rang me and said he had made the biggest mistake of his life and would I come home...I did we got married and were together 7 yrs.I split from him but not cause he was unfaithfully again we just had problems we couldnt work through we are still friends to this day.People are funny creatures we all make mistakes talk to him dont yell rant or rave just talk.
thanks ladies, we spent most of the night talking and decided i needed some time to myself after i had all the facts. we drove my daughter to her fathers at the weekend and i spent a few days with him and am now home alone to think. i may be able to get past it and work through it, i would like to be able to give him benefit of the doubt, but i just get so angry when i start thinking about it again. iv told him if i do decide to work through, then im going to need time and he has to just accept my mood swings until i can let it pass. he says he is willing to do anything hes fully understood my feelings. i can forgive once,im a firm believer everyone deserves a second chance. i just hope for my own sake i make the right decision. x
Get rid now love,it has happened to me recently,if you give him a 2nd chance,he will be even more carefull next time,they become very good at lying and covering their tracks and getting friends to cover for them.You deserve better than this,and someone who treats you with respect and love it will be hard to move on ,kick the liar into touch