Subby: You certainly did not disappoint...
Dali256: You don't know my Dad, he would definitely do it again! He thinks that swift decisions and actions are the best thing ever - communicating with others is, however, seriously unimportant. And seeing his decisions are always the best ones, why ask anyone else's opinion?
era: Nope, my Dad did not and I have, mercifuly enough, not met our neighbour. You know, most of my fairly large collection is stored in my bedroom at my parents' (actually, this room is probably as large as the whole of my own flat) but anyway... I do not really care about the fact that one (or both) of them have very obviously seen and handled my lace and see-through lingerie - that is, all my clothes got haphazzardly stuffed into plastic garbage bags (wonderful treatment of delicate fabrics, isn't it?), along with shoes (the most hygienic solution ever - bloody fools).
I kept four toys in a backpack (that I never actually used, it was a freebie that came with my old laptop) in my wardrobe, one of the in its keepsake box (a pretty big Fun Factory toy), and three in their storage bags (my Lelo Smartwand, and a couple of Tracey Cox glass dildos). When Dad came back home (I only learned what he had done while he was on his way back), I literally ran to check all the awfully packed stuff (books and shampoos and canned food thrown into Tesco jute bags etc.), searching frantically for that backpack - I found it pretty quickly. The toys were still in there but someone has stuffed some more stuff inside - on the top of the bag, there were my headphones and some of my keyboard piano accessories.
The question is, who packed it? In the case it was my Dad, I should be okay, he would not bother checking what kind of stuff was already inside the backpack (when he gets focused on something, he totally ignores everything he deems unimportant - and some useless girly stuff is definitely nothing he would care about) - and frankly, even if he had seen the toys, he would not care (I know for a fact he caught a glimpse of some of my toys - generally when he came in unexpectedly to check something in my bedroom or bathroom) and he never ever mentioned it.
The idea it might have been this neighbour of ours is, however, absolutely horrific - imagine an eccentric, tattooed middle-aged biker (owner of a small painting business) with a shaved had who tries to pretend he is a macho 20yo but who gossips like an old lady. He comes uninvited to virtually any barbecue in our neighbourhood because he is incredibly nosey and has to know what is going on in any household.
A couple of months back, his company did some repair work on our windows (the paint was peeling in some places), it was during those weeks I was stuck in my bedroom most of the time, recuperating from my surgery. One day I accidentally overheard a chat this guy (who never, ever stops talking - and who has an opinion on everything any everyone) was having with his employee; having had run out of more interesting topics, they started talking about me (unsurprisingly enough, they saw me shuffling around the house). Our neighbour felt it was important to tell the other guy that I was that "kinda smart but silly, fat and bespectacled girl with thousands of books in her bedroom (I have mentioned the man loves to visit everyone in our street, and to take a nosey peek into every room he can get into), the one who obviously never had any boyfriend and who was bound to be a virgin, even though she must be 25 or something (a bit surprising he thinks I am younger than I actually am)..." And they started that wonderfully "intelligent" chat about what kind of bloke should I find (tough chance) and what could he do to me (to f..k the books out of my head). Just brilliant. Do you believe me I shudder to think this particular neighbour might have seen my sex toys? I guess you do.
I am too much of a coward to ask any questions that would bet me an answer to the "who opened my toy backpack" conundrum - but over the next few weeks, I will dread meeting anyone who lives on our street. Gossips spread quickly (and this is something our crazy neighbour would definitely tell to anyone who might know me)... I suppose that pretty soon I will know wheter I can calm down - or if I should feel mortified for the rest of my miserable life....