i have been on here a few months now and wondered why certain people want you as a friend or accept you as a friend but they always seem to be offline and just do threads which is fine because we all have a right to do what we want, it does seem pointless being friends if you cant ever chat to them if this makes sense.
Some people don't want to be rude by not accepting, some people rarely have time to go online or only have time to go online at times that you're not online. I
I post more often that I have time for conversations and I'd rather only be "online" when I have time to chat properly rather than ignore people because I'm in the middle of an essay and am only popping on during breaks.
Adx
Some people feel pressured to accept once asked.
Some people just like having the option to chat if they have an important question.
I've added only a few people but only because I genuinely like them, it can just be a nice gesture to ask or accept.
Some people don't have the time.
Others might not be comfortable talking in a private chat, I've had known a few people upset by some perviness.
We were also told the friend feature would have other uses beyond chat, if they do turn up then there might be a feature that person wants then.
Alicia D'amore wrote:
I post more often that I have time for conversations and I'd rather only be "online" when I have time to chat properly rather than ignore people because I'm in the middle of an essay and am only popping on during breaks.
Same. I'll nip on while dinner's cooking, or post in between other stuff when I wouldn't have time to chat, so I tend to choose to show as offline so I don't end up missing someone messaging me, or wind up stuck in a conversation when I'm rushing to get away. I go on when I'm free, and chat to some folk then, but times like now I'll be off and just pop the odd post about before whizzing away again.
Personally, I'd have no issue declining an invite from someone, but I can see why some people would feel obliged to accept.
There may be some cross browser incompatibility though preventing people from being online, or seeing people online. But I could be wrong.
i think it would be best to decline the person to be honest, because i think it can be thrustrating to see these people writing threads so you know they are online, to me i feel you are best to decline if you dont like to chat online.
because they stalk you in the shadows awaiting a moment in which they can pounce and attack you with 52" dildos!
lol its actually quite a good question jokes aside, iv had several people add me, but the truth is i really dont care if someone wants to be my friend, i will always accept as im happy to chat to anyone that needs a friendly ear to listen to them.
Peachy keen wrote:
Personally, I'd have no issue declining an invite from someone, but I can see why some people would feel obliged to accept.
I'm the same - I leave people on my "list" of unaccepted, undeclined until I know enough about them to decide.
Adx
as Wanda said when this friends bussiness first come about we was told that it is for something that is going to happen in time and was going to be a bit like facebook kinda thing.
personally i only accept people who i have talked to with on the forums for quiet a while, and to be honest im getting pretty sick with every time i log on here and having "friend request" from people who dont post on the forums at all, or are people who have posted on her a few times but who i have never talked to on here. (99.9999% of these are men). and i really dont like, i delete the request straight away.
as for the chat bit, it seems to always have lots of bugs, like FB chat isnt really that brilliant for chatting anyway. so i have mine set to offline all the time (well when it wants to work) if i want to chat to someone of the forums i will use my fake facebook account to send privet msgs, or use my twitter account.
to be honest i really hope LH install an option to disable the chat option, i really dislike it, due to the amount of request you get from people who have the wrong idea about what this forum is about.
i personaly think if you really want to talk to someone else and they really want to talk to you, you will always find away to. (like what used to happen on here for years).
i think maybe people feel pressured into accepting friend requests and others i think also dont feel so "safe" (probably not the correct word, but cant think of another). with the chat option.
sorry, i went off on a bit of a rant there about the chat option, to me it just seems more hassle then its worth all round. esp when your getting the bad pervy type asking to be friends all the time.
Dxx
i agree with ad i seem to go on more in the afternoon when i finish work.dont realy get time on a nite when the kids are about so not many people are about in the mid afternoon
Maybe if you have a problem with people never being online, you should delete them as friends - then they can do as they choose and you can do as you choose :)
Adx
i think thats a good idea, if there was something you can show on your profile or whatever thats says wether you wanna chat or just do threads or both, then we would all be in the know, we all into different stuff on here some like to right some like to chat, lets hope LH might do something to make life easier
Alicia D'amore wrote:
Maybe if you have a problem with people never being online, you should delete them as friends - then they can do as they choose and you can do as you choose :)
Adx
I agree with this. Although I'm unsure why you get frustrated because people are not online.External Media
Yeah, I'd have thought it would be more frustrating sending messages to people who read as offline and having them not respond because they were too busy or AFK or what have you (actually happened to me before I went offline when not free to talk: same person messaged me on five separate occassions, and each time by the time I got to see, they'd logged, so never heard from me...felt quite bad, must have seemed like I was ignoring him on purpose!).
There's also the option of people being on their phones: I can check the forum and post and whatnot from mine, but since it's not too shmancy, any of the bits like chat don't appear for me, so I can post and read and such without even having the option of chatting. Dunno if that's just me and my dino-phone, but always a possibility it's some technical doohickery like that.
if anyone wants to add me, i don't mind chatting when i'm online
:)
WandA wrote:
Alicia D'amore wrote:
Maybe if you have a problem with people never being online, you should delete them as friends - then they can do as they choose and you can do as you choose :)
Adx
I agree with this. Although I'm unsure why you get frustrated because people are not online.External Media
i dont get frustrated with it just wonder why i have been asked 4 times to be a certain persons friend and have accepted their offer, but this person is always offline i then cancel as friends but they keep coming back that is frustrating and before you say it i will no longer accept them againExternal Media
Oh well that's different, if someone's being a pain spamming requests you'd kinda expect them to be eager to talk to you when you do cave!
Remember you only have to click invisible once for the chat to remember you as offline without letting you know you are!
They maybe think they're online and everyone else is ignoring them!
Adx
Ah. I wouldn't give it much thought, I generally accept most people unless they seem a bit too pervy and have never posted.
i think i have added about one person but the others have added me, i dont think too much about wether or not i talk on chat and i have only had one conversation on chat as i'm not here for too long!
i think some people just want a big friends list but arent interested in talking, silly i know but i have a friend on facebook who has over 3000 friends (and a picture of her baby naked.. but we wont get into the implications!) so it can be a status of popularity for some people!
i only have people i know and like on here!
VW x