Why is COVID keeping couples apart?

Off-Topic Chat
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I’ve seen a few posts with people saying “we’re long distance because of COVID”. My question is, “Why?”

So I’m married. Wife and I both work in highly trafficked public areas and we don’t decide to sleep in different beds in different rooms and setup time shares for the bathroom, kitchen, and livingroom.

Some possible reasons “COVID keeps couples apart” off the top of my head could be:

-Fear of getting/spreading COVID
-State or country lockdown policies
-Relationship was long distance to begin with and simply not feasible to see each other more often
-Relationship started “online” (ie dating websites) and you haven’t met yet and you want to play it safe

And not just for sex, but the human connection with someone you care about I would think would be enough to not let something like COVID stop you from being together.

Is it COVID itself or policies and practicalities that have resulted from COVID that are keeping you apart?

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I think as you say, countries have different rules. Here in the UK, for most of lockdown, no different households could mix so if you weren’t already living with your partner you either moved in quick and hoped things worked out or were distanced and not allowed direct contact hence kept apart by Covid.

It obviously, also puts a lot of pressure on single people who want to find someone because the normal start of a relationship can’t happen when it’s all via screen time.

ETA

In the non- relationship stakes it has definitely kept people apart, I have not seen my Mum since Christmas Day when we were allowed to meet up and I’d normally go and see my parents regularly but they are a 2 adult family and so are myself and OH so no meeting up.

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Thank you @Peitho. I appreciate your feedback.

Lockdown policies I get and that does makes sense. But as you know, US is a land of rebellion :stuck_out_tongue: (lame history joke, intended as humor and not insult)

…So when the highest levels of government said not to meet with more than X amount of people, and then violated their own policies and got blasted on the news for doing so, well let’s just say that many US Americans did what they do best lol

I have many thoughts I won’t share here on the subject. But the more significant and less emotional thoughts would be that too much lockdown may (or may not) keep people “safer” from COVID, but the stress, and suicide rate, and emotions, and family abuse, and all that other stuff skyrockets.

Completely separate note, what is “ETA”? I’ve seen it twice here now. I’ve only known it to mean Estimated Time of Arrival. Basically, when someone or something (LoveHoney package) is expected to arrive at it’s destination.

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I think because the majority of people (in the UK at least) are not necessarily worried about themselves, but vulnerable people in their community or family.

The ‘what if’ thing - how would you feel if someone close to you caught it and died as a direct result of you flouting the rules? I know I’d be devastated.

There’s a time and place for rebelling but when other people’s lives are at risk is not it :blush:

The mental health implications etc are a concern and it’s a difficult balancing act. There has been a lot of publicity around mental health support available and things like that to try and help.

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Feel you there. And this is where I’ll be careful because I don’t have stats handy and I very much dislike throwing “info” out without having the stats to back it up (really should have saved the sources but didn’t think I’d ever have to share xD) but there are a couple US states and one country that have been very well not on lock down and doing well COVID wise.

Problem is I know there are a near infinite number of other factors that I don’t even have a full list of that play into stuff like that. For that reason I very much will NOT say that “not locking down” (in and of itself) is the magic cure.

Misinformation and distorted/twisted information are quite possibly my nubmer one pet peeves. Normally that’s why I don’t debate because gathering all the facts takes forever and it’s really up to you to figure out how much of the whole picture the information you have actually tells (aka, how accurate is it?)

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I am in the UK and met my partner on a dating site just before lockdown. We’d actually planned to meet up the weekend before lockdown was announced, but things had already started shutting down by that point and it wasn’t feasible as we live 60 miles apart. In some ways, initially, lockdown did us a favour as we really got to know each other through messages, FaceTime etc. I won’t say it hasn’t been tough though. As a single parent, I am allowed to form a bubble, so of course, we have now bubbled and our relationship is amazing! I do wonder if we’d have had the strength of relationship that we have were it not for lockdown, I guess we’ll never know. Lockdown has been tough, but it’s helped us too, and we’re now looking to our post lockdown future together!

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@anon8189768 ETA means edited to add :+1:

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:rofl: Edited to add

I think I’m a “ruley”, as my friend describes it. Unless I see a real need not to I tend to follow the rules set and it’s certainly been easier for me than a lot as I live with my OH and have a full time job that gets me out of the house interacting (as socially distanced as possible) with people.

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As has been said above my relationship actually ended as a result of this damn virus. I ended up moving into my ex’s in order to help homeschool and wasn’t able to see my girlfriend because of the restrictions that were in place.

After 13 months the separation took its toll and became permanent.

To answer the original post it was definitely the rules not the virus that stopped us.

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@andytaylor98 that’s awful. I bet this has happened all over too. The after effects from covid and lockdowns will be with us all for a very long time.

Hugs

:two_hearts::heart::two_hearts:

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It’s difficult for people who don’t live together and haven’t been able to see each other. I live in a house share so moved in with my OH through the lockdowns because it was either that or we wouldn’t be able to see each other.

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I can vouch Covid has/is wrecking my chances of building a relationship with someone I really like and haven’t been able to meet yet. I’ve tried so hard to keep communication going and make things special by sending them flowers and cards to let them know I’m thinking of them and to not lose hope but I sense it’s all slipping away and really it is soul crushing :disappointed:

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Am I correct that this is a “COVID benefit”? Maybe married couples don’t get to form a “bubble” because they already have each other and single parents get to form a bubble for support/child raising assistance?

In any case I’m glad things are working well for you. That’s great news!

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I will typically follow rules in general but also go with the “law of the land”.

I grew up in the midwest US and if you got caught doing 60MPH in a 55MPH speed zone, you’re getting a speeding ticket.

Here in California, you can very comfortably go 75 or even 80MPH in a 65MPH and not even really have to worry about a ticket.

A lot of it depends on traffic, how you’re driving (don’t be constantly changing lanes to pass other vehicles), weather conditions, and if your vehicle has registration issues, looks unsafe to drive, or if you’re driving a “flashy” car like a lamborghini.

Disclaimer: Speeding is still speeding which will at some point likely land you in the presence of law enforcenemt. Don’t come visiting the California and/or the US, get pulled over, and say, “But justanotherkinkystraightguy said I could speed!..” lol

The real problem is once people feel the ‘freedom’ of driving in California and get to thinking they can speed whenever and whereever they want.

Most of my “speeding” talk was specifically on the freeway. And there’s still a safer way to not look like a jerk doing it. But if you start going too fast around more business or residential areas then expect to get wrecked by the cops for endangering people.

We have kids in my neighborhood so I drive less than the posted 25MPH just because like little ‘Barry Allens’ they can be in front of your car in a split second.

ETA :laughing: Speeding was supposed to be a brief topic in my reply. I don’t even remember all where I was going with that. 40yo is scary! Stay away everyone :laughing:

ETA again: Ok I remember now. sits down and sets aside walker with tennis balls on the bottom

I have a stepdaughter who married her now-husband about six months before COVID hit. I’m sure the restrictions varied but we saw each other in person at least weekly throughout COVID. Maybe we kept back a little at the very beginning.

So yes, following the rules but also I take ‘common sense’ liberties. Right turns on red are legal in general but in some specific situations they are not. If there are literally no other cars on the road, I’m going lol.

I’m not exactly a rebel but that’s about where I am with that.

And I don’t at all feel that meeting up with a SO you’re not married to yet is “dangerous”. Just unnecessarily f**king with people’s lives imo

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Barry Allens! :zap:

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In keeping with the “reply to many people in a single post” suggestion. Here it goes:

@andytaylor98 Ugh. That’s awful. It actually really upsets me to be honest but I digress. So sorry to hear that :frowning:

@Very-Ape Firstly, what is a “house share”? I’m familiar with a “time share” but that concept doesn’t seem to fit your story contextually.

Hoping your living together is working out. It’s awesome that you at least have each other! It’s a huge blessing!

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House share = unrelated people share/live in a house together.

Covid Bubble - UK term for people you can share space with as normal (eg you, partner, + kids) . Everyone else, 2m distance and wear a mask.

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@AJSTAR That’s seriously rough! I legit feel it in the heart when I hear stuff like this.

If I may submit, “slipping” is still present tense and not past tense. It may be worth the hard conversation to clarify where each of you stand. Could be good for the long term to get that clarified on both sides.

“Babe, I feel like we’re falling apart. I deeply care for you and I really want this to work between us.” would let her know how you see things and what your intentions and desires for the relationship are.

If she’s been sensing a ‘slip’ as well then she knows it’s not just her and hopefully you can discuss that and maybe jump start things.

It could be there’s a ‘slip’ and it’s not because of you or distance, but maybe she has other things going on in the background that she’s just not thought to mention, or is not comfortable with sharing yet (depending on how new the relationship is) or too ashamed to tell most people, let alone the great guy she’s met.

I might even suggest asking her about that. “Are we slipping or is something else going on? I don’t need specifics if you don’t want to share but it would be great to know if it’s not me/us.” Something like that.

In any case I sincerely feel for you. I wish you the best.

Pre-post edit: I realize you didn’t specify a relationship with “her”, if not “her” then please don’t take my “she/her” references as me being rude. Was not trying to be

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A house share just means I live in a house with a few friends

Yeah it’s been great but definitely hasn’t been easy adjusting to it :joy_cat:

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Thank you for clarifying (& also @Ian_Chimp)

In the US we’d call them ‘roommates’. Friends or people that are simply living together for convenience sake (typically to save money and split rent costs)

Until now I thought the UK used “flatmates”. Darn “Notting Hill” movie

Edit: you might also refer to a SO (significant other) as a roommate if you were trying to hide the fact that you were together :joy: