I would love to hear feedback from what I'm about to divulge about myself and won't be offended by comments I recieve back.
So basically I'm a crossdressing male and have taken the brave step to give it free reign after years of sweeping it under the carpet. When I'm in the zone, I feel completely at peace with myself, but recently I've noticed a shift in my sexuality. I like my feminine urges but they're making me want to perform sexual acts as a girl, eg giving a blow job, swallowing etc. I'm even turned on about being seen dressed up and getting chatted up.
Primarily I love women, but am also looking at interactive videos of girls calling me gay and it really tuerns me on. I'm just a bit confused, but is this just a silly fantasy or is it my subconscious telling me that I may have a repressed homosexuality which I haven't confronted yet?
Basically, seeming to be the first to reply to this post, I can say brave of you to come out about this and my opinion is just be yourself and be what you want to be and are comfortable with. Continue to enjoy life and enjoy your sexuality. 
Hi and welcome! I think the best advise I can offer is don't be concerned about putting labels on who or what you are or what you enjoy, because that's all each and every little thing is, something that gives you pleasure. The sense of freedom and relief when you stop trying to name and define will take away so much stress. Besides, as you see to already have discovered, sexuality is fluid so what is the sense in staring I am thus or I am that, enjoy what you enjoy, leave what you don't and be open to new experiences. Good luck!
Thank you so much for an honest reply, you are right, sexuality is fluid and I should stop feeling so guilty about my desires. You've just given me the push I needed to let go so I'm going to fully open that door now and see where it takes me.
Thanks for the messages of encouragement, coming out about this has been really tough and having people give support makes me feel confident about taking steps to acknowledge my fantasies.
Lacegurl wrote:
Thanks for the messages of encouragement, coming out about this has been really tough and having people give support makes me feel confident about taking steps to acknowledge my fantasies.
It is of course quite easy to say 'be yourself and never mind what others think' but more difficult to do, so the very best of good luck to you.
Can I echo the comments so far. Have courage to let yourself be what you want to be. Everyone is different and I think that is something to be celebrated. Based on what I've observed, experienced and feel I believe sexuality is a spectrum and nothing like what the media likes to label and portray.
Be strong and resilent, believe in yourself.
Good luck.
AmyA wrote:
Hi and welcome! I think the best advise I can offer is don't be concerned about putting labels on who or what you are or what you enjoy, because that's all each and every little thing is, something that gives you pleasure. The sense of freedom and relief when you stop trying to name and define will take away so much stress. Besides, as you see to already have discovered, sexuality is fluid so what is the sense in staring I am thus or I am that, enjoy what you enjoy, leave what you don't and be open to new experiences. Good luck!
Completely agree with this! There’s no rush to put a label on anything. Live your life, explore these fantasies if you want to and just do your thing. A label might be worked out later or it might not. Either way that’s fine :)
I have to admit I am in a similar position. Since my wife died I have found myself seriously unsure, I have women fantasies mainly sucking toes and now often wear stockings and heels around the house which I really enjoy. I do also fantasise about sex with men, I had even arranged a gay sex date over Craigslist. He didn't make it and despite his efforts to try again, I chickened out. I still want to try it though just not that guy. I guess that makes me at least bisexual. I have a lot of sex toys now all but one anal. Mainly prostate massagers but also 5 dildoes. I like using the dildoes and think of the real thing when I use them. So soladarity with you as we both are struggling with this. Would be lovely to discuss in person