My ex-wife and I met when she was 18 in college I was an older student we got together at first as friends then when she turned 21 we began a relationship after 8 years she planned our wedding without telling me... we married and for 10 years were extremeley happy. from our relationship we have two great little boys sadly she decided to leave us I tell you this because there was a 20 year age difference I loved her and still do love her very much and I miss her every day why she left I will never know. While we were together people did stare we did hear bad remarks but we ignored the biggots we were happy. I always said "age is for tomb stones" As long as you are happy don't let the morons get you down.
My husband and I have 13 years between us (he's the older one). Never had any bad looks (I look older than I am and he looks younger than he is) from strangers, quite the contrary, often people come up to us in public to say that we are a beautiful/happy couple - it fills me with joy that our happiness together is so transparent that strangers feel the need to verbalize it to us!
Both of us did put some serious thought in our relationship from the start though, as I was happy dating older men too before him, so age wasn’t an issue for me and I couldn’t care less what others thought, but what stopped me before from becoming serious in these relationships was the “children” issue (I knew I will want a “traditional” family at some point and the much older men I dated were over this stage in their lives). I was only 23, he was 35 when we got married, I always thought 27 would be a good age for me to settle down, but our love was irresistible. He was all ready to start a family, I couldn’t be less interested in babies :). He did agree to wait for me to be ready on this aspect, and never ever pressured me, even though I knew he wanted children badly.
We have been together for 10 years now, and going stronger than ever (having had to overcome some difficult times too)! Happy on all levels, full compatibility and understanding between us and our interests, goals, desires, sexuality… Still very much in love with and attracted to each other!
One of our closest friends (he is the same age as my husband) has a 15 years younger wife (they only got married less than 2 years ago), and I know she and especially her parents have struggled at the beginning of the relationship with his age and the gap. However, they ultimately accepted it, as they saw that she was quite happy with him! I think they are wonderful together and I am willing to bet they will last a lifetime (surprisingly few couples live "happily ever after" lives together nowadays, I might add).
I never thought that anything below 10 years is a “significant” age gap, and also think that anything below 5 is not an age gap at all. I do agree that age is just a number, we are all so different that compatibility (including lifestyles and practical goals in life such as the children-question) is the only thing that should keep together or divide a couple.
When I was 18-21 I had two boyfriends (one after the other) who were 16/17 years older. At that point in my life I needed someone older because my experiences had made me far older than my years. It wasn't just boyfriends that were older, most of my friends were (and are) too.
Now I'm in my mid 20s. I probably still seem older than I am but not by much anymore. I still tend to go for older guys but the age gap is closing. I still find myself most attracted to men in their early to mid 30s but now that is only 5-10 years older.
I know this is an old thread, but I had to share my experiences ... I'm 24yrs younger than my man (he's actually older than my mum  ) and I love him more every day!! He's so much more experienced than any of my previous partners, and is willing (and able) to take his time and make things perfect!
ZaKaPo, nice to hear. I don't think age should be a problem at all.
I was 25 when I met my husband and he was 50 ( my mum was only 4 years older than him). We met via work. We married when I was 27.
Sadly my hubby died 7 years ago when I was 39 and he a few months short of 65 and retirement .
I think there is more of a taboo the other way round ie when the woman is say 50 and the man 25, it should't be love is love.
Lyndav71 wrote:
ZaKaPo, nice to hear. I don't think age should be a problem at all.
I was 25 when I met my husband and he was 50 ( my mum was only 4 years older than him). We met via work. We married when I was 27.
Sadly my hubby died 7 years ago when I was 39 and he a few months short of 65 and retirement .
I think there is more of a taboo the other way round ie when the woman is say 50 and the man 25, it should't be love is love.
Similar experience. One of the loves of my life was 3 decades older; he was gone while I was still young. I have no regrets: at least I had him for a while! If I'd listened to people who pointed out the obvious drawback, I would have missed out on him altogether.
Others I have loved were over a 4-decade age gap. They were great teachers. I would not have been who I am today, without them.
Neither do I care if people are ugly or beautiful.
With my EX- girlfriend, we was 14 years apart from each other. Got a few stares, once in a while, but I ignore them.
I'm 8 years older than my OH never really been a problem. I think it's a good age difference myself but then I would 11 years later :-)
Love this thread and how strongly it proves that age has no boundaries when falling in love.
Each of us (regardless of age) have a unique quality within us that is different to how/why we stand out or someone notices us! Be it age, race, gender etc really is so insignificant when it comes down to chemistry, physical attraction or simply what draws us to a person!
This whole thread proves in itself that when we connect, regardless, we just connect. Nothing else comes into it... and that just warms my heart so much. And also proves that we ALL desire such different attributes, but in doing so, simply makes us individuals, even if it's not what society dictates is the "norm", but instead a head strong/ballsy (no giver of others opinions) person! We, alone are the only person that can make the right decision for what we believe will be our own, true happiness. If we're wrong, then it's a lesson learned.
Moral of my post is... Don't judge and let people choose their own path!
#unique #notwopeoplearethesame #yourchoiceisntalwaystherightone #dontjudgejustlove #eachtotheirown #toodeep
20 years ago a guy around 7 years younger than me kept asking me out, I said no, not really the age gap, more that he was only 17. 20 years later i had probably the best sex ever with him!
I was 25 years old when I met my husband to be and he was 50 years old. The age gap didn't bother us but my family although accepting were concerned as he was only 4 years younger than my mum !
We married at 27 and 52. The age difference was not an issue but we were aware of it. My husband died suddenly 7 years ago in July, I had just turned 39 and in the November he would have been 65 and retirement age.
We had 14 years together. The only downside to the age gap is we didn't have longer together but to be fair any of us can be taken at any age and we can't help who we love.
Lyndav71 wrote:
I was 25 years old when I met my husband to be and he was 50 years old. The age gap didn't bother us but my family although accepting were concerned as he was only 4 years younger than my mum !
We married at 27 and 52. The age difference was not an issue but we were aware of it. My husband died suddenly 7 years ago in July, I had just turned 39 and in the November he would have been 65 and retirement age.
We had 14 years together. The only downside to the age gap is we didn't have longer together but to be fair any of us can be taken at any age and we can't help who we love.
L71 I'm so sorry x
Thanks SmokingHotLove. Never regretted it but it is the downside.
I was watching a daytime programme today about age gaps and I have to say one thing I am grateful for is everyone else in our life was supportive and we didn't face any backlash unlike some people appeared to have.
Truth is if you find happiness grab it because you never know what will happen. I have lost so many loved ones that if I was morbid I'd be saying to myself whose next and to be fair for a while I did but can't think like that. It makes you realise you need to take whatever happiness life throws at you.
2000/2001/2003 I was in a car crash each of these years
2002/2006/2007/2009/2010/2011/2014/2015 - 10 people close to me died (2006 - 3 in one year) as well as lost other people in family who were great aunts/uncles etc
Theres 12 years between me and the other half, I'm 38 and she is 50. We've been together about 13 years now, the age gap makes no difference to us
I have a problem when it comes to age gaps in relationships, and that problem is society!
It is good to read on here about other peoples experiences with a range of age gaps, and the one thing that seems to be common to everyone is that you all love/loved your partners.
I'm in my early 40's, and you would expect that I have some experience in bed - but I don't! I've been single for nearly all of my adult life, done the "middle age" responsibility in my 20's (I was a Churchwarden), had a severe car crash where the police didn't think I would live - and whilst I was recovering, I watched my dad die. In my mid 30's i fell for someone 10 years my junior but she shut me out with no explaination, and without any guidance, I wound up suffering depression, which took me three years to 'recover' from and changed my perception on the value of human life. All of this means that I don't feel that I am as old as my birth certificate says, and I don't feel any attraction to people within my "age group" as defined by the 'half plus seven' rule.
Age difference always been a problem for me as I tend to go for slightly older people. When I was 17 I tried to date a 23 year old but I was too young for that (obviously, now I look back at it) but once you hit older ages you tend to care less. 25 and 35 sounds alot better in my head than 18 and 28. All a matter of perspective really
Age defo is just a number , me and my partner have 10 years between us , I was 17 when I met his and he was 27 , I am now 32 we are still together and going strong xxx