Ok, just wondered what people thought about rather large age gaps. My OH is considerably younger than me (16 yrs) which is alot when im 36. We have a fantastic relationship, I never feel like im dating someone much younger than me, we get on fabulously, and its very rare i think "well that was a bit immature" to be fair men my age and older have had far less maturity - my worry lies really with others, most of my friends offer me advice such as "you cant date a man half your age" or "hes just a boy" or "he doesnt know how he feels because hes too young" so now i feel like a bit of a perv lol, despite the fact he is way more kinky than me!- our sexual relationship is the most equal and balanced that i have ever had, and we are very much in love as well as lust, soooo do i ignore all my mates who think im being ridiuclous and just carry on enjoying our time together or is a relationship with a big age gap destined to fail?
My mum's partner is 20 years younger than her and american.
Love comes in different forms and never conforms to norms.
If you are both happy then that is all that matters.
MM xx
My OH is older than me by 12 years, and I've been with him since I was 17 (two years now). Maturity differences have never been a problem, and we have a great relationship. My entire family was completely against it when we first got together, with the word 'paedophile' even being thrown around on a regular basis, but I stayed with him because he makes me happier than I'd ever been before, and now they accept it.
If you're happy and the relationship is equitable and you love him, then sod your friends. Your relationship concerns two people; you and him. Your friends will get over the age gap when they see you guys are built to last, but if you give him up over the opinions of others you will regret it for a long time.
As far as I'm concerned, age shouldn't be an issue. However, I do feel there's one exception - age of partner in relation to age of your own children.
To elaborate, I've got a few friends where there are large age gaps - one couple got married last year with a 35 year gap (although, unfortunately, their wedding was boycotted by a number of people who felt it was wrong).
My issue relates to a family friend's relationship, as whilst the gap is just under 30 years, her OH is younger than all her (adult) children, which in turn makes her children uncomfortable.
In other words, I can't see age being an issue, except if your OH is younger than your children. But that's just my opinion.
hes older than my daughter and she adores him (probably a bit more than she adores me) loll ty so much its nice to hear about other age gap relationships, as foolishly it does play on my mind now and again.
Well if you two are happy and your daughter is happy, then that's really all that matters!
TheKittyKat wrote:
Well if you two are happy and your daughter is happy, then that's really all that matters!
TheKK says it perfectly, and what if you were to dump him, you'll only be doing that for other people, and spend the whole time missing what you had with him.
All that matters is how you feel, who knows what longevity any relationship has, so just enjoy every moment.
My ex was 12years younger than me, when we first got together everyone said it wouldn't work, we lasted 7 years so I guess it did. Ultimately we ended up wanting different things I suppose, but that could have happened to us regardless of our ages.... Don't let friends put you off, just enjoy!
I don't see any issue with age differences at all. So long as people are happy!
If it works for you two thats all that matters.
My husband is 14yrs older than me and to be honest its never been an issue for either of us.
My parents were very concerned about it when we were first together, but once they got to know him they realised that he was exactly right for me.
I'm 34 now and we've been together 11yrs. When i was younger i went out with several lads my own age but they were all so 'laddish', he was so much more settled and mature. Seems odd now, because if i ever tell people his age they are always shocked that he's that old! I take all the credit for it, i obviously keep him young! hehe :o)
I have never, even for a moment, regretted being with him. He's incredible.
So, no, a relationship with an age-gap isn't destined to fail. If you are both having fun then why ruin it just because other people have a problem? As long as you're both happy, just see where it goes! :o)
Im 17 years younger than my partner, it shows sometimes. I think the age difference adds to our type of relationship though.
im 18 years younger than my hubby
I was in a relationship where he was 30 years older than me and I put up with a lot of crap because of it but I don't regret it. We were together for 2 years and it was the age difference (ie different & changing life needs) that finally ended it, not others opinions.
If you are happy then who is anyone to judge. Others peoples opinions only matter if you allow them to. Have fun!
My OH is 26 years older than me. We get on brilliantly and have been together for 2 years. My parents were brilliant when they found out, and when they met him they fell in love with him. Now, I don't see him as an older man, he's just my boyfriend. We have a great relationship, he respects me and doesn't treat me like his daughter (which a lot of people outside the situation think).
p.s. I just got my first 'there's a tester on it's way' e mail and I'm sooooo excited :D !!!!!!
my oh is 29 years older than me- when we are together we are the same so between us, there is no issue regarding an age gap. we have been together for nearly 3 years and love each other very much.
at the end of the day you can't help who you fall for... and i also think that older men are sexy!
I think as long as your happy then it doesn't matter about the age gap. Though I do agree with some above that you should maybe think twice if the OH is younger than your children. But then you've already said your daughter is happy. So I would just ditch the friends/block out their opinions if they're not supporting you - they should be happy that you're happy! :)
I think age gaps *can* be a problem but they don't *need* to be.
To be realistic - of course there are some disadvantages to having an age gap but there are disadvantages and advantages to lots of things and we all have different experiences/priorities. One person may never notice that their OH is older than them but another may notice the odd time their OH references TV programmes they've never even heard of (for example) but things like that are trivial. If the age means the pair are completely out of synch (one is ready for children and the other just starting out in their career for example) then yes it might not work. But being out of synch can happen for lots of different reasons - age isn't necessarily the important factor and relationships with age gaps can work fine.
I don't think it's anyone's place to judge - only the people in the relationship can say how their relationship is going and so many things can effect it. I mean we're polar opposites when it comes to gender (in hetersexual relationships) but that doesn't stop it working :P.
Adx
I was 19 when I was with my ex who was 38 (too tired to work out the age gap!) it was fine.
Age is just a number at the end of the day x
I really love it, the age gap actually turns me on a lot (:
Liquidsugar wrote:
I really love it, the age gap actually turns me on a lot (:
glad to hear it