Biggest Sexual Disappointment

Ha. I think that might bring its own set of problems. :slightly_smiling_face: It’s a hard one to get a measure off. I’m trying to teach my kids how to choose wisely, but as it’s not something I know how to do myself I’ve no idea if I’m getting it right or not? :man_shrugging::slightly_smiling_face:

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Indeed, only time will be the judge. But I can help point him in one direction. As I say to the apprentices at work, I’ll show you my way but I’m not saying it’s the right (or only way)…

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@Scottishfunk - trust me, you were not the world’s oldest living virgin :grin:

I had quite repressive messages when I was growing up - no sex before marriage, it is just something women have to put up with, I was too thin anyway etc etc.
I was much happier when I learned to throw off these assumptions and to find my own way. I regret not doing that sooner.

I think bringing children up to be sex positive and body positive, and to be kind and respectful of themselves and others, is much healthier and leads to happier outcomes. Giving children choices without expecting a certain outcome is confidence-building, too.

Good for you.

Also worth bearing in mind: we might not make the mistakes our parents made, but we are sure to make others :joy: :+1:

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My mom did it right I think. At 16 we had “the talk” where she told me I didn’t particularly need to be in a long term relationship to do it (this was a revelation, at 16 I had the belief I’d want to be with someone for at least 6 months beforehand), I just needed to like the person and it would feel right. She said casual sex is ok just be safe and sensible about it.
Treating it like that kind of took the pressure off. She also removed the urge to do it because I knew I wasn’t allowed, by just allowing it. Clever.
I actually didn’t lose my v until I was 22, well after every one of my friends, not because of my sex ed, just wasn’t the right time til it was!

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I think it depends on the individual. As you say, any way can have its own problems.

I’m not very social, so the whole hook-up/casual sex thing isn’t my cup of tea. I find it hard to connect with people and having some form of trust or bond is important to me. I’ve only had 1 sexual partner who I’m still with after 14 years. I’ve been asked by colleagues how I do it, haha. Don’t I get bored of being with the same person/penis? That type of thing. I suppose my lifestyle isn’t their cup of tea, just like theirs isn’t mine. Nothing right or wrong, just different people :yum:

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I’m much the same, wouldn’t be comfortable going out looking for new partners.

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21st birthday was promised an orgasm and he couldn’t find the clit even with advice and in the background on the TV a sex ed programme came on and was explaining the anatomy of a vagina with a diagram :joy:

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That is tragic.

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I once tried sex on the beach at night and I expected it to be awesome. It wasn’t, the sand just gets in places where it really shouldn’t be…

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life

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Tried sex in a tent once, trouble was that it was one of those nylon pop up tents that you use on the beach. Unfortunately we chose one of the hottest days of the year and honestly I don’t know how we didn’t both pass out as it was boiling in there! The sweat was dripping off us and on to the nylon base of the tent which resulted in us sliding about like we were on an ice rink.
Let’s just say we found out that being cooped up in a very hot tiny nylon bubble isn’t conducive to a good sexual experience!

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For me it would have to be losing my virginity. Was 20 and afraid for my eyesight and an opportunity presented itself.
It wasn’t great and I regretted losing my virginity to someone who I didn’t really have any feelings for but just had a desperation to lose my virginity.
I’m sure I’m not alone in that…

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As I have got a bit older (Still fairly young in the scheme of things however), I have come to understand the notion that I regret more of what I haven’t done, as opposed to what I have.

I think looking back, I’d say my biggest disappointment/regret was not following through with a serious invitation to a threesome with a friend and his girlfriend that I kind of had a thing for. We were all 18 and worked together at the time. Would have been a crazy/fun way to lose my virginity I’m sure!

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The last 9 years

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I’m not into threesomes, but a wise friend told me (over 20 years ago), ‘regret the things you do, not the things you don’t do’. This was said in the spirit of living life to the full, without hurting others. I think she had a point.

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the first time I had sex was awful :joy:we where both so nervous and fumbling . I was like id rather just be fingered or licked out as that was crap! We then tired again about a month later and I was like oh yes this is go , so this is what people are talking about.

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My worst ever was sex in the shower - only I slipped and banged my head and we were concerned whether or not I needed to go to A&E!

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The biggest disappointment was those times in my life when I overlooked the fact I really enjoyed masturbation and was instead miserable about not having a partner. Without that frustration I could have been very happy. :cry:

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Some interesting comments here regarding this. A late bloomer myself due to confidence issues which seemed to get worse and worse as the years went on. Fortunately met a partner who was extremely understanding but I do think if I’d not met her then I’d still be in the same boat now.

I do really feel bad for teenagers growing up, so much pressure from peers and with the added advent of social media it must be terribly anxiety inducing.

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@SubCharles I agree.
I wouldn’t like to be a young teenager growing up in these times right now.
The influence of social media can have a terribly damaging effect and cause so many issues that will stick with you for the rest of your life.

As a parent - this is bloody hard, knowing what the right thing to do is, and how to handle situations properly.

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