I entirely agree with @tpatch there, takes so much to stand up and hold your ground in this scenario!
I have to say, if I try to put myself in your shoes, I think I would try to talk to them with my ex, as things sound like they are OK between you and he’s agreeing with you in terms of their behavior.
It would give you a clear idea of your ex’s attitude with the ‘kids’ over it, and a united front would have more impact towards them
Completely agree with all thats said about the unfair and manipulative stuff, the play on words such as choosing current partner over them etc., but you know your truth and from whats been written have remained constant and true with unconditional love throughout for them.
You really cannot do any more than that, and I hope some time soon they realize how lucky they actually are to have you as their mum.
Hope it all works itself out!
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@Rhilee your not choosing your new partner over your children, you are living your life I know they are children and only young but they will have a real hard lesson to learn as we all do in life when things do not always go the way we would in love and in life ! I would stay strong and stick to your guns hun do what you need for you hun 
you know we back you good luck again 
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