seriously, some of the stigmas attached to things that we here all consider fairly normal....
i mean things like the use of sex toys, all my friends seem to think people who use them are disgusting freaks who clearly have totallly unsatisfactory sex lives (ha! i'm the most satisfied amongst them, they're always complaining about how unsatisfied in the bedroom they are) and yet none of them has ever experienced anything to do with sex toys. How can someone make a judgement like that without any form of opinion to base it on?
I will admit straight up that i used to think people who had anal sex were weirdf and slightly icky, ok i'm sure you guys can appreciate my honesty (well i hope you can and don't crucify me) but thats because i had nothing to base my opinion on, just the stigma. I will also admit i still haven't had it, but i'm curious and my OH sure wants to try, but atm my curiosity doesn't outweigh my fears that it will a) hurt and b) be just not my thing. I get now that a lot of people want to do it, its natural to be curious about sexuality! why doesn't the world seem to get this?
is it just this small community that understand it? lol to the outside world are we just sex obsessed freaks?
my goodness that was rant city, with very little point, it just annoys me when i'm made to feel dirty for just ejoying myself and exploring my sexuality!
and on a completely unrelated and slightly amusing note i can never look my OHs mother in the face again, turns out i'm a screamer......i was unaware of this till he told me afterwards!
I completely agree, i love my friends and im pretty honest about my passion of sex toys but sometimes i wonder if they think im a bit of a freak, with the toys i pick.... but my close friends ahve even started buying toys and experimenting more cos of my honesty which I'm glad i was able to be open n lead them to happier sex lives.
I was same as you, i said no no no never to anal sex and i thought it was for disgusting and just for gay men - based on mere fiction and i was nieve and stigma just like you.
then fingers, then a cock, and after the inital omg where the hell are you puttin it! i started to come round to the idea... lube reseached, anal douche and now i enjoy anal, mainly from the pleasure its gives the guy im with!
slightly off topic there..... sorry!
i think its incredibly healthy to have a sex toy, and explore your sexuality, the people who tend to frown are the people who have never had one and simply aint having good sex/orgasms!
Nah, it's a fairly human thing: you naturally form opinions on everything, it's almost impossible to remain totally neutral to something even if it never really enters your life. And you'll base that on as much of the facts you have to hand, even if those "facts" are simply things that "everyone says". Especially if it's not an active part of your life, you don't stop to think abotu why you think something, and while if you did, you might never realise you've based an opinion purely on the whispered bias of school chums. It's one of the things i like about these fora, so many people openly talking about things - positive and negative - almost forces you to think about things you might not have even realised you'd forced an opinion on, and juggle the facts and the bias to be better informed.
A certain amount of it will be fear of judgement. Like, if you're in a group of mates and declare "I like it up the bum", there's a decnet chance at least one will look at you like a freak (probably more if it's as non sequitur as that!), so no one wants to be the first to speak up against conventional prejudices; then, if someone does, it's equally hard to be the first to say "actually, I too like it up the bum!", so usually the curious ones stay quiet, leaving the mocking types to react first, and then the natural pack mentality comes into play and they'll side with the less controvertial one to gang up on the "freak" and beat the dissention out of the group, or at least suppress it so they aren't forced to think about it.
Yay for us and people who accept all forms of sexuality and sexual behaviour!!
I don't think any of my friends think I'm a freak or anything, Though I think they're quietly jealous that I have such a varied sex life and that I sometimes get sexy freebies to test!
I will admit straight up that i used to think people who had anal sex were weirdf and slightly icky, ok i'm sure you guys can appreciate my honesty (well i hope you can and don't crucify me) but thats because i had nothing to base my opinion on, just the stigma. I will also admit i still haven't had it, but i'm curious and my OH sure wants to try, but atm my curiosity doesn't outweigh my fears that it will a) hurt and b) be just not my thing.
don't worry we are not that feakish. When i have a chat with some of my friends one to one they are open about it and actualy quite intrested, but i cna understand why they wouldn't be in a group. I think that it just needs to become more socialy accpeted that using toys is perfectly fine and not something to be shunned. Also with the anal, try with a toy first becase a) it will help you get over the pain, and b) you can "train" your body to like it, i.e you get used to the bad feelings and they go away and are replaced by the good ones. Also using a toy makes the real thing so much better
Your time will come Doug, you're a lovely and active member, :-) so just keep up the good work with reviewing stuff and I'm sure you'll be considered for tester products in no time!
(Plus I've just noticed that you've only been here since june - I did a double-take cuz I thought you'd been around a lot longer than that!)
i think i might go insane without this forum to just chat about my desires and stuff, well that and my oh so kinky OH!
its so nice not to be judged, the pack mentality is a scary thing! when i was with some friends and they were saying all women who use vibrators were single weirdos who couldn't get a man so have to use plastic! I was a tad offended there, so i just turned to them all and said, actually i own 2 and i'm adding to that collection! their expression was priceless and they all said i was weird, but clearly some of the are doing it for the pack mentality because when one of them was on her own she expressed a desire to buy a dildo. I of course directed her here, but seems silly that she felt the need to judge me just because i have the confidence not only to try these things but to talk about it!
i think i'm gonna go browse the sale now, i wants the ki wi thingie and its now reduced!
sounds familiar... one 'friend' - now not so much said only reason i had a vibrator was because i desparately wanted a real man and i was replacing my idea of sex with toys... apparently i needed to stop straight away before i fell in love with a 'false' penis.... i turned round and said it doesnt talk back and when im having a fat or ugly day i dont care i still get mine! she was horrified... i was then branded as a loner...
i think i might go insane without this forum to just chat about my desires and stuff
same my friends all know about my love of toys and stuff mainly because i worked for Ann Summers so they figured that out with out a convo, they love hearing about what i get up to though but when i ask them they al kind of recoil in horror. xxx
sounds familiar... one 'friend' - now not so much said only reason i had a vibrator was because i desparately wanted a real man and i was replacing my idea of sex with toys... apparently i needed to stop straight away before i fell in love with a 'false' penis.... i turned round and said it doesnt talk back and when im having a fat or ugly day i dont care i still get mine! she was horrified... i was then branded as a loner...
lovely!!!
xGHx
Ha!
I really wish people who had those kinds of opinions would actually use a toy first before they come out with things like that - they'd soon realise that toys are no substitute for a real person.
Besides, is there really anything wrong with falling in love with a false penis? ;)
But a false penis is no substitute for a real one. Vibrators and dildos might be all singing, all dancing, but I never get the same kind of feel out of a toy as I do from my boyfriend.
But a false penis is no substitute for a real one. Vibrators and dildos might be all singing, all dancing, but I never get the same kind of feel out of a toy as I do from my boyfriend.
exactly, a vibe can't kiss me! i've just put 2 in my basket though.....should probably get something for the OH as well, he might feel left out!
lol well i've bought a bunch of stuff i don't need and won't even get to use this weekend when i'm actually with my OH. I think i should go to bed now......good night all, i have a doctors appointment tomorrow ugh (sorry if no one wants to hear me ramble about my real life when i'm not a sexual maniac) so wish me luck! hopefully they'll stop sticking needles in me soon!
