@mumstheword , it’s difficult but it’s something I wish I’d had the opportunity to chat about so I could have enjoyed my attraction to lingerie uninhibited.
P.S. it would have made it much easier for Mum to buy me birthday or Christmas presents as I would have just shared my wish list with her. She always said I was difficult to buy for!
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LOL I think lots of mums say that as they get older it’s more difficult to shop for them!
I’ve been saying it for years and joked about it above.
Although he’s not interested in wearing it himself as far as I know
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It might be a new thing for him.
@anon47033001 Well I don’t parade around the house in lingerie but did I get up one hot summers night for water thinking the coast was clear. The house was dark and quiet so I sneaked downstairs but bumped into him in the kitchen.
My partner was staying at the time so I wearing only a satin chemise nightie a bit like this one [https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sexy-lingerie/lingerie-sets/baby-dolls-chemises/p/beauty-night-satin-and-lace-turquoise-chemise/a33409g59471.html]
He got a bigger surprise than me and I think for a moment didn’t know where to look which was kind of awkward but funny at the same time to see his reaction. If only it had the same effect on my partner I thought to myself!
Anyways I saw him fish it out of the basket a day or 2 later, (knowing he recognized it) and it was the last thing to go in the machine that day.
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I wish a woman would wear that for me.
And buy me a matching one of course.
I’m going to go against the grain a bit and say that its not appropriate, its an invasion of your privacy and body space. Fetching your knickers / bras out of the laundry and gratifying himself may seem harmless, but he is invading your privacy without consent.
There may or may not be a disassociation between “a womans sexy lingerie” and “his mothers sexy lingerie” but at 21, hes not a horny teenager with no willpower or knowledge of right/wrong, it could be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
If he has a thing for sniffing womens underwear, then there are avenues on the internet he can explore and with full consent of all parties, he should have at it, its not so much the act itself (it could just be a harmless fetish), but its the manner in which its been exercised.
How you address it without shaming him though? Tough one. It will be an awkward conversation and will lead to embarrassment, but continued love and support will overcome the initial shock of it all.
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Anyway, now your son has led you here are you going to tell us something about yourself? It’s normally done in the Introduce Yourself section of the forum. 
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I’d never kink shame anyone but I would KICK OFF if I thought my son was doing this. Luckily I don’t have kids so it’s not a tightrope I’ll ever need to negotiate but he’s old enough to know that it’s not cool. It’s about consent and context at the end of the day.
My Husband is my romantic partner who I want to be sexually stimulated by me so if he wanted to do that it’s all good. If a stranger (washing machine repair man or the plumber) was doing it I would be freaked out. Similarly any other relative that has no business being turned on by my business. It would make me very uncomfortable. No, not cool. It’s fine to have a lingerie fetish but pulling your pud over your Mums undercrackers (even if they go straight in the wash), no matter how silky or alluring, is disrespectful at best.
I wouldn’t ‘shame’ him as such but I’d just say he needs to immediately stop using my clothes as a masturbation enhancer. I’d also be concerned that, if his fetish is so strong that he has thrown caution to the wind to this extent to satisfy his cravings, how much further would he go to get his kicks. You don’t want to see him in the paper for sniffing bicycle seats or sneaking into ladies’ changing rooms. I’d be having a serious chat with him about boundaries and respect for women. Sorry.
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@Senator Agreed it’s is a tough one and still not sure how to go about such a conversation without some embarrassment.
@DreamOfChi Agreed he’s old enough to know it’s wrong and I’m sure he does on some level. I imagine some part of him is like “WTF am I doing?” but I guess it’s more impulsive than logical.
I doubt it would extend beyond the privacy of our home especially since he has no issue meeting girls before lockdown but I guess being caged can lead to unhealthy behaviour. No need to apologize, I appreciate your frank and honest response.
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@Serpentwand Thanks for your interest, I’m not very good at describing myself!
I may put a few introductory words there at some point.
I’m a mid forties single mum and decided to start dating again this year (in spite of lockdown) but no luck so far.
Nonetheless I am growing in confidence and rediscovering my sexual and feminine side hence shopping for new lingerie (and maybe some naughty toys but thats my secret! Sssh 
)
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I think you’re just gonna need to bite the bullet because no matter which way you go about it it’s going to be, at best, a bit embarrassing for at least one of you. The best you can do is aim for non-aggressive and non-judgmental and hope that you can both see a lighter side and set some boundaries. But either way you can’t just let him carry on 
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Be gentle if you do bring it up. It’s a delicate matter - as delicate as the very silk stockings that drive a horny young man crazy!
Good for you rediscovering your sexy side. You’re too young NOT to be wearing sexy lingerie. Alot of middle aged women look great these days, even to young guys like me.
Won’t tell anyone about your “naughty toys” LOL!
No shame in masturbating, it’s not just for horny boys!
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edited by mod
21 is a bit old to be doing stuff like this. If it was anyone else’s lingerie or in a different house, he could get arrested. The behaviour is not normal at that age especially when he knows he could be seen - almost like he wanted to be caught. Unless he is attracted to you in some way, the behaviour is not normal. If he is actually attracted to you, this is a totally different issue with it’s own problems. I know there are many porn clips with “Step parents” and “step children” having sex, but in the real world that doesn’t fly…
Hope he has a listening ear as this could become other behaviour that trickles into real life and could get him in serious trouble…
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My son is 22, I’d have no issues if he became interested or curious about lingerie, but if he went out of his way to find my dirty lingerie and masturbated while sniffing them, I’d be having serious words.
I find it highly inappropriate to be doing this with a mother’s lingerie (or any family member). It’s a step too far, and then some!
I’d have to immediately stop him from doing any laundry and make sure laundry was completed when he’s not around.
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It is a bit odd for any young man to willingly do the laundry. 
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@Serpentwand He had to learn to do laundry for himself when he moved out for a while. I didn’t want him bringing it home every weekend! He generates alot of laundry (due to the gym) so I asked him to help with the burden.
@ScotsguyIcy No I haven’t spoken about it yet.
Thanks to everyone on here so far.
It’s just me on my own so appreciate the advice.
He has no father figure and I can’t exactly discuss with a friend or neighbour!
Some views have varied but everyone has been respectful around a sensitive topic so thank you.
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I think your sons ‘fetish’ might be different to mine, as for me it was all about wearing lingerie but I was thinking about how I’d have reacted. To this day (at least to my knowledge) she was unaware that in my early teen years I started to sneak a couple of her thongs and wear them in my room. I soon plucked up the courage and would go buy thongs (female) for myself, in secret whenever we went out shopping then hide them when I got back. I think regardless of if they were hers or mine I would’ve been super embarrassed if she’d found out.
By the time I’d started college/university and discovered that I could buy the style of thong I liked in male sizes on the internet, I never looked back. I’m lucky that my wife is cool about it as I know a lot of people are often put off. Before being open about it and it might be sound silly as it’s literally a little bit of fabric, it felt like a massive burden and horrible secret to keep.
Like I say, I know it’s slightly different and hindsights great. I just think that if she’d have found out in those early years, yes I’d have been embarrassed but ultimatley I’d have felt more comfortable being myself at home. Plus, back then (and now) I’d have much prefered some nice g-strings at Christmas than some boring black boxers haha
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