Apart from the odd comment like “Your mine later” or a note on the end of my shopping list saying “sexy time” we dont really plan anything… Im thinking of chatting more to her before sex to see if that takes us to another level. What do you all do or dont do ??
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Having 2 young children we generally have to plan and sometimes it feels a bit forced like we have to have sex because we get so few chances.
However more recently we have had a few spontaneous sessions where the mood has just taken us and we find it much better than a planned session.
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totally understand that… but do you discuss whats going to happen?
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Not really, just go with the flow. Sometimes get the box of toys out before we start amd then just see what we feel like using.
We have a simple understanding.
Any day that we don’t have the grandchildren we stay in bed and have sex of some sort.
This is generally 3 or 4 times a week.
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Just go with the flow in the main, if we are going to be staying away, then a bit more planning comes into it. The OH will choose lingerie for the stop over.
It is mainly spontaneous, one of us will be horny and the other only too happy to oblige. Quite often it can be when one of us is doing something and are unable to stop wandering hands.
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We sort of discuss what’s going to happen, what we want /what we want to do, but not so much as in a plan and more in sexting and dirty talk. although to be honest the only time anything goes to our plan is when one of us is dom/sub as otherwise once in the moment all previous talk goes out the window and we just go with the flow however we do take on whatever either of us are really in the mood for and try and work with it.
I’d say communication is always the way to go, so if you want to give it ago then go for it, if it works it works. 
(Mrs)
It’s a mix. Young kids in the house constrains our time for grown up activities… so sex is impromptu within a narrow window - if that makes sense! BDSM, sploshing etc ramps up the complication and planning time accordingly.
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We just go with the flow - sometimes it’s every day - but can go down to once or twice a week
I generally get an urge or he gets an urge and then go for it - sometimes I like being in charge - other times I want him to take the reins - and then it’s go time
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We generally plan so that we do the things we’ve talked about bc if we don’t, we’ll default to sensual, which is great too. We’ll usually talk (text) about what we’re in the mood for, which can change and has done in the moment. We know if we’ve not seen each other for a while that we’re going straight to frantic sex. We need to get the grrrr out before we even attempt to do any of the other things that need a bit of focus, like needles or knives. (If its not your thing, thats ok, but its mine so leave it alone)
Some things need to be planned out so that we’ve got what we need. Like tying me to the curtain pole, that needs rope, blindfold, ballgag, and then whatever he wants to use. So we need that to be accessible. Watersports needs lots of water to be drank, if we want a video of something then we need the tripod to be out. Sometimes just putting the thought out there that I want to give him a bj because I didn’t the last time.
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Mostly go with the flow, but there has been occasional chats where prep needs done or something diffrent happens
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Due to us working opposite shifts we only have certain times in the week where we can have sex so tend to go with the flow but if we have arrabged time on our own to indulge in ou more kinky side, this is discussed and planned and its alot rougher so needs a conversation before hand
When the little people were in the house, it was more planned around school, work etc. Did we discuss what, no - stuff is only getting more interesting as we get older and relaxed.
I recall when the kids were old enough to go alone, we’d give them $5 each to go to the shop for an ice-cream - walk was long enough for a shower and a shag before they got back.
COVID-19 hit and the kids were older and had to do school at home - they didn’t interrupt when the stereo was on in our room (this was never discussed - they just told us after they moved out that the parents probably shouldn’t be disturbed - not sure if I’m embarrassed that they worked it out or not). 
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At least three times a month either of us arrange a date night/day. This is an event or dinner etc which also has sex on the agenda. One of us plans it and sends the other an invitation with sexy details included.
These ‘events’ don’t have to be expensive. For example my husband invited me to a drink at our local with detailed instructions of what I should wear. Lingerie was described and instructions to go commando given. Just getting ready was a turn on. Sitting having one drink in our local wearing a short skirt and no knickers made me want to get home quick for a good seeing to by my husband.
Even Covid Lockdown didn’t stop our ‘events’. We had sex all over the house in all sorts of clothes and with toys. I even pegged my man in the garden shed 
.
So for us planned sex is very exciting. 
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Lucky for me, my wife and I both work from home. But she is far busier than I am, so she will send me a calendar invite for a “Performance Review” - knowing that sex is planned makes it more sexy, not less, for me anyway - always nice to be wanted!
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Go with the flow i get up very early some days but my wife sleeps in so im often quite tired by 10pm say
Mix of planned and spontaneous for us. Planned in the sense of knowing that on a certain day we will have a session and we can build up a level of tension to heighten our horniness, but not what we will do - we go with the flow on that, although we usually have our toy box to hand. Usually we don’t tell each other what we will be wearing to make it more of a sexy surprise, although occasionally the OH does ask what I’d like her to wear. Other times it’s entirely spontaneous - one of us will feel horny and after a kiss, or a gentle stroke of a bum or a boob or whatever, we’re off.
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It is far more spontaneous than I like. Mrs. Val is not herself over the last few months and seems quickly turned off by silly things.
Then I tend to lose my momentum when we plan a date night, I will meet her after work and then I see she brought the kids… 
It’s been tough lately but I am hoping she gets her mojo back one day. I am just being patient, trying to work through some stresses of work and moving and the same for her. Just working to support each other and enjoy our health and new home in the country while the weather is nice. (Sounds forced and it is…)
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We’re about 80% routine, 15% scheduled/premeditated, and 5% spontaneous/quickie.
- Routine: bedtime sex. Occasionally we’ll tease a preview of what we’re hoping for as part of it (“hey, you look like you need a backrub tonight” or “I’d really like to go down on you later”), but mostly not discussed and sticks to the “script” with the occasional spontaneous deviation (“Hey, get my Womanizer for me!”).
- Scheduled/premeditated: weekend romps, usually, when we know the kids will be out with friends or grandparents. These tend to be a split between just falling into the sheets and see where it goes and fully negotiating a scene to set the stage for some roleplay or BDSM. Maybe 60/40 leaning toward the “see what happens” but knowing it’s a broader menu with the space for intentional play and exploration.
- Spontaneous/quickie: well, that’s what they are. Morning sex or a break on days we’re both working from home. Usually straight to the point, we don’t negotiate a whole lot and both just try to cum as fast as we can.
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We have ensured that we both have Wednesdays off from work so that is our quality day together. On the day we dont plan what happens but go with the flow - sometimes a mega session others just gentle time together. recently have had some spontaneous events as well.