I am regularly thinking very sexy thoughts, but they dont seem to come to fruition…
At the time (maybe its a horn thing) I want to do so much, but its never the right time, place or feeling when it comes down to it.
Sexy thoughts evolve constantly at certain points of the day but, in reality they fade away in between work, emptying the bins, cooking dinner, and slotting in a soap or programme that cant be missed. Tiredness takes over and the earlier thoughts of a long drive into the country for a woodland shag seem to disappear into another beer and an early night…
I’m pretty sure it’s ok because the thoughts keep you going and your sex drive alive…
Me and OH are off for the next 4 days and a fab wand is on the way thanks to @JoCat advice, so I am going to put 100% into fucking like rabbits and enjoying every moment…
My point is that that’s how I’m feeling right now… but in the morning its different… Dog needs walking, bin needs emptying and what am I gonna do for dinner…
Do any of you have these feelings that don’t get off the ground ???
I certainly think more kink than do more kink although we are getting more kinky. We were a very vanilla couple sexual (I am certainly the more kinky) but through proper communication and discussion we have tried more things recently than we used to. Not all of them we will do again but done in a non pressure environment we tried and we learnt. Some didn’t do anything for her but some she loved and are now a regular occurrence. She is now recommending things to try! You live and learn but taking our time and communication have worked wonders for us.
Oh all the time.
It’s like you said: in your head you can fantasize all you want but life has a habit of frequently getting in the way.
I find setting aside time every week or every couple of weeks helps
With my current situation I think more kink especially if it involves another person, as OH is not very kinky and has a very low sex drive. I try to experiment in solo time.
I’m much more a thinker than doer partly due to not having a willing participant for the doing part.
Definitely think more than do and thats down to time constraints. We had very kinky plans for Sunday, but it had been so long since we seen each other, that the softer sides came through and we didn’t do everything we’d planned. Still had a filthy time and loved everything we did. We’d definitely do more if we had more time.
Were into bdsm but like yourself dont get much time to play with everyday life getting in the way and having 2 kids in the house, so we think about it alot and talk about it alot and if something sounds really good, we remember it for when we have time. I also write him short erotic stories to read and we save them so we can act them out when we get chance. Were going away at the end of june for the weekend on our own so theres lots of talk about which toys and impact tools were taking, what lingerie is coming, what were going to do etc. Ots very exciting!
Definitely.
We have a fairly kinky lifestyle anyway but in my head I’m always thinking of more.
Some of my ideas I know will never happen as they are a long way past her hard limits but sometimes they help us move just a little further in a particular direction.
Life inevitably gets in the way. Between dogs, dishes and doing what needs to be done - finding the time and energy is tricky.
What I do is make sure that any fantastic ideas I come up with get written down so that when we are in the mood for kink I can find out what kind of mood the OH is in and have a quick flick through to see what devious ideas I had around this type of play.
I’m the kind of person who will pan everything, but only enact half of the plan and substitute aspects to go with the flow. It’s certainly led to a lot of interesting playtimes.
I find tiredness can take over but work through it - start talking sexy to each other in sexy ways (dirty talk) and this will get your brain working and before long you are no longer tired
Then touch each other while dirty talking and before long you are having a wonderful time
With the wand tease her - don’t just place it on her clit - tease her and run it around her body - I find being teased gets we so wet and almost go off as soon as the wand touches my clit
Absolutely for us too, plus sometimes we find we have to get the balance right as well:
Both be so horny that we want to put the extra effort in to do the kink
BUT have the patience to do the kink and not just fxck the brains out of each other because we can’t hold back any longer.
I think that’s an easy trap to fall into when modern life is so busy and stressful, and sex is one of those things that it’s easy to get ‘knocked off’ so by the time you actually get to it you may not be feeling like it.
The best way we found is to set aside some time in the week and protect it. We have the kids home on half term this week so forget any sexy time! However on Monday grandparents are picking up from school and they’re going for a sleepover, wife has taken the day off work as well. So we have all day to ourselves.
That’s exactly what we do.
We have the grandkids 3, or more often, 4 days a week so on the 3 or 4 days we have free we always have sex of some sort. We both know its going to happen so we’re never ‘too tired’ or ‘not in the mood’.
It works very well for us.
For many years my wife has been mostly absent from my sex life , so it is me , myself and I . I think of way kinkier things than I have ever done as a way to assist my personal sessions . My imagination often comes up with things that are not possible like multiple people preforming things on me at the same time . I am like the athlete that has been benched , I go to all the practices but never get to play in the game .
Yes I definitely think more kink.
Considering OH and I are long distance, definitely more think/talk than do, although we still try to make time as much as we can 
but when I finally go see them, maybe that’ll flip around
I often think the idea of something tends to be more hotter than the reality of it and so we end up imagining so many amazing kinky thoughts what get all our senses tingling but then never really follow through with them 
I still think when I used to have wet dreams they was the most amazing experience ever and so much better than actually having sex lol
Agree with @GoGirl12 and others - we’ve found setting planned time aside works well for us. It started when we were still working to get round generally feeling tired. We needed to get over that to make sure we had time and didn’t neglect our fun kinky side. And now we’re retired we still do it, and we find it if anything an even bigger turn on. We can both build up to it in the preceding days with our own thoughts of what to wear, what to do, and so when the time comes we’re both horny as hell. It’s like having that passion all over again from when we first met and knew we had a hot date planned for later in the week. And outside of that there are still times when we’re a bit more spontaneous.
Without a doubt ! I am constantly thinking of new things and scenarios for my wife and I . So much so I floated the idea to my wife that I start writing them down somewhere but she nixed the idea saying what if someone found them! ( her worry , not mine) . I’m going to float the idea again at some point, see what comes of it.
I’ll be honest , the vast majority of them will not be played out but usually there’s some tidbit of it that either started the idea I carry it forward to the next fantasy or I’ll try to incorporate in a kinky night.
I also agree with previous posters that setting a date - or date night as we call it - helps a lot. For me I like the anticipation , dropping hints , my mind goes into overdrive! lol .
For my wife , she’s organisation driven so the date helps her get into mindset.
If you have a private folder on your phone, you could put them in there. If you have a Samsung, theres a Secure Folder app, you can rename it something boring and add an icon and a password. All my filth goes in there 