So my experience of internet dating is minimal, but I was single for 11 years and realised the only way to meet anyone was on a dating site. I have MS. I didn’t put it on my profile, not did I put up a photo as I hate photos. As you can imagine most messages I sent weren’t replied to as I had no photo, and most of the messages I got were asking for a photo!!! However, one bloke started chatting to me and we were messaging for about a month before he asked for a photo and then about another month he asked to meet up. Nearly a year later and we’re still going strong. I told him about my MS on our first actual date as we’d been chatting for a while but then so knew that we got on, but I also wanted to tell him early on so if he was gonna ghost me I wouldn’t be bothered.
I think you need to let people get to know you first then before telling them as once they know you, it might not be such a big deal
I usually message about 3 days rather than a set number of messages (obviously only 1 or 2 messages doesn’t signal serious), move to text or WhatsApp before chatting a few times on the phone. If no red flags then I try to meet up in a public place fairly quickly, so if no chemistry we can both move on (might be more difficult if you are not in an urban area but in a city plenty of cafes & bars with lots of people around).
As a male my risk assessment might be different but arranging to call a friend around a set time is always possible (you need to powder your nose allows you to escape to make the call), just don’t make it too rigid as you don’t want to appear bored by looking at the time every 10 minutes .
@JoCat That is fucking ace!! The last one was so sweet in it’s own way and this one is basically fuck off unless I say otherwise. I definitely need to change mine up already so I will certainly be taking a leaf out of your book and being more direct about what I want.
The 2nd profile got me better quality of friends, it meant that even if I didn’t have msgs blocked, that a lot of people didn’t send a msg or if they did it was to tell me I was hard work
The profile also proves that what people put in their profile is not necessarily true. I wanted to keep the people away who were not going to make any effort. When I chatted in the forums, I showed the real me and people who took the time to get to know me are still friends now.
Being direct really works and apply that to msgs that come through. If the people are not what you are looking for then cut them off.
If you’re talking about fab, it will depend what you’re looking for. I have chatted for a few hrs with one person and then invited him to my house, saw him every day for a week and then that was it for both of us, we had a good time but we were done.
Most people though, I’d meet for tea and cake within a week if I’m attracted to them and they’re making me laugh. And make it clear that if there is going to be sex then it will be on another day. I have had sex after a ‘social’ twice before and regretted it both times.
With my sexual partner we first chatted 3 or 4 years ago and then I’m not sure what happened but that stopped and we only met in Feb this year. Thats the short version.
@steve19 i’ve only been diagnosed 7 years but I’m pretty stable after a stem cell transplant. Hope you coping in this heat? Luckily heat doesn’t really affect me so I can still be the sun queen I always was.
Did the stem cell transplant work? I have heard of people having it and making no difference to them. I’ve tried all sorts, oxygen depth therapy, botox for foot drop , evening primrose oil, physiotherapy and Pilaties.
Still have physio monthly and go to pilaties weekly. I’ve moved only secondary progressive so a very gradual decline, use mobility scooter and adapted car.
It did, I’m pretty back to my old self except bladder and bowel are a bit rubbish. I think the earlier you have it after diagnosis the more chances of success. I had intermittent foot drop, eye trouble, l’hermittes, sleeping problems, etc but now it’s just bladder and bowel which are manageable - most of the time. It was definitely worth it I my case.
I used to use an app called MeetUp pre Covid, was all about social groups and hobbies etc., and was quite good.
Might not be much on there, but worth a quick look some point I’d say.
I’m glad things have got better. I think because my diagnosis was so long ago and now moved to secondary progressive may be stem cell not for me. I had a good 30 years of the remiting type. For them years only problems every 4 - 5 years. Must be positive though, I am mobile with scooter / car and getting around and enjoying life. You must make the most of life as well and enjoy. @Honeycurl
Ah I’m sorry to hear that, yeah I guess with this sort of thing it’s a difficult one for back of beyond, although quite envious of the peace and quiet you might have there.
Its lovely out of season when its quieter. Right now (august) we are, like most of cornwall, rammed with visitors.
If i was nearer a big town or could drive, it would be fine. There were quite a few clubs on there further from me. not being able to drive right now makes everything 10x more dificult sadly
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not being able to drive right now makes everything 10x more dificult sadly